Epiphany

     Oh, the wonder of the lights! Oh, the cheerful clapping! I walked slowly towards the sofa where the exuberant hostess of Neopia V.I.P. was eagerly waiting for me. The media that once mocked me was now worshipping me. All because my wiles and intelligence had finally done their tricks, making me the youngest Cheat champion in Neopian history. I blinked slowly as I focused on one camera, careful not to mess with my meticulously positioned doll lashes, and extended one of my paws to the hostess. All my movements had been previous and carefully calculated; that’s what you learn when you play Cheat from a tender age. Everything must be thought and planned; poker faces don’t work.

     I chose my best gown and my highest heels. I was really looking like a trophy, full of glitter and gold. The hostess couldn’t pay enough compliments to my clothing and my makeup. I smiled and thanked, but if I could, I would roll my eyes. My style was always a reason for mockery. It’s incredible how things can change when you become the champion. The studio audience was full of younglings dressed just like me, with way too much eyeshadow and lashes so long they would hit their foreheads if the lids weren’t kept half-shut because of the weight. I felt astonished and a little... Self-conscious as well. To be a role model was always my desire, but once you can really see yourself in younglings, it becomes a little intimidating.

     The hostess went on asking a lot of questions about the tournament, my choice of clothing and adornment and all that gibberish a superstar was used to. Then it hit me: I was becoming a superstar. And that was followed by a new kind of lack of peace. If before I was a subject of derision and mockery, now I was a subject of wonder and worship.

     But then she chose a question I was not prepared to answer.

     “And are you happy with all this frenzy around you?”

     That question sounded so unnatural coming from that high-pitched voiced hostess. She was showing a concern so fake the first thing I could think was how bad she would perform if she was a Cheat player. I hid my despise as best as possible, which was not that difficult under so many layers of makeup, and made my best amused face to answer that question with high levels of honesty.

     “Of course I am. How could one not be?”

     She seemed pleased with the answer and touched no longer in personal subjects. She then proceeded to compliment my sagacity, my keenness and my choice of nail polish, among many other general frivolous topics. But the remainder of that interview was a blur to me. My mind drifted everywhere and I’m almost sure I sounded as mechanical as possible for what seemed hours, but were in fact just a couple of minutes. Then we said our goodbyes, I threw a kiss to the audience and the camera, and went backstage sighing.

     I couldn’t sleep that night. I felt so light without all the makeup, but it almost didn’t feel like me anymore. Through the mirrors of my closet, I was spying a total stranger. I touched that clean face and messy hair as they were not my own anymore. Two more hours until dawn, I thought to myself, two more hours until I have to pretend it all again.

     Not anymore.

     I grabbed my car keys and the simplest sunglasses I could find on my collection, and after dressing myself in the most common clothing I had, I ran to my car. My chauffeur was asleep nearby and woke up in such a rush I almost felt pity. I raised my sunglasses and gave that look he understood well. That one specific look that said ask no questions. He just nodded and went back to his nap as nothing had passed. A celebrity must have the most unobtrusive staff as possible, and mine was an expert in questioning nothing. I closed all the windows and put my Wock Til You Drop CD as loud as possible without threatening to break my car’s windows. I knew exactly where I had to go.

     It was the most unpleasant one-hour car ride I had ever been a part of. The streets of Neopia Central were calm and silent, which gave me too much room to think about my life. It was a dichotomy: I had so many doubts, but was also never so sure in my entire life.

     Morning had not yet arrived when I stopped my car in front of that small hut in the middle of a village. Everything was the same as I remembered from ten years ago. I was just a child back then, but so resolute in debuting in Cheat that my age mattered not to me. I was always a bold one.

     I knocked three times at the wooden door. I hoped she still remembered my trademark knock.

     “Capara?”

     She looked sleepy as she opened the door. Ten years had passed and she hadn’t changed a thing. The red hair was as reddish as ever, her wrinkles were just the same and the smell of butter and sugar was ever so strong.

     “Hi, mom. It’s been a while.”

     She was reluctant to believe it was me at first. It’s been so long since we saw each other’s eyes in person, and longer since she saw me without my makeup. But once the astonishment faded, she threw her arms around my neck and brushed my hair with her fingers.

     “It’s been too much time, my darling. And you look as beautiful as ever.”

     My mom knew no such thing as lying. That’s how I knew she meant it. Lying was always my thing.

     She took me inside the small room and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Hanging on the walls in pretty frames were a collection of newspaper cutouts, all stamped with my face adorned with the most variable colours. Every single page my face was featured was hanging on those walls. Some were lousily cut, others were surgically aligned. That room was basically a sanctuary where I was the blessing entity. May Capara the Kyrii bless Neopia as a whole.

     “I always knew you’d be something. I watched every interview you gave, cheered for you in every game you’ve played, told everyone how proud I was of my daughter. And you became something, didn’t you?”

     I couldn’t say a word to her. I was so sure she had forgotten me, erased me from her life as I had erased her from mine.

     “But at what cost, my darling? What have you sacrificed?”

     She could still read my mind.

     “I’m so tired, mom. So tired.”

     I laid on the sofa as she caressed my hair. I knew the newspapers would explode in fallacious headlines and fanciful articles that very morning. Or perhaps the day after. But that mattered no longer to me. I was in peace. Finally in peace.

     The End.