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How gross foods are made

by imbitter


     We know you’ve done it. Ran across a Neopian food and been disgusted. Thought “Why would anyone want that?! Why would someone think of that?!”

     Well, we’re here to provide you with the answers! Here are 7 gross items and the stories of how they came to be.

          Spring Onion Ice Cream

     On a hot day in the dead of summer an Island Kacheek was happily licking on his ice cream cone while he checked on his crops in the garden. As he leaned over to check his spring onions, the ice cream slipped off the cone and onto the onions! Now this Kacheek was quite frugal and never wasteful.

     “There’s nothing wrong with this ice cream” he thought. “Just a little bit of spring onions in them!” So he carefully scooped up the ice cream, onions and all and gave it an experimental taste.

     “Hmm. That’s not too shabby!” He said aloud, sure that somewhere in Neopia there’d be a market for his new discovery.

     Iced Fish Cake

     Gayle was a Draik with a lot of work to do today. She had to bake a cake for her sister’s birthday party, she had to make a banner and decorate ballroom that the party was being held at. And she was running behind. She started on the cake, dropping flour as she poured some into a bowl. The eggshell cracked and she had to dig it out of the mixture. Her beater was broken! Everything was going wrong. She growled in frustrated as the doorbell rang and she ran out of the room and down the hall.

     “Mama seemed stressed.” Her little one thought. “I’ll help out.”

     Determined, her son, Jacob, went rummaging through the refrigerator and found a fish. They all loved fish! He pulled the fish out of the fridge and brought it over to the bowl. He plopped it in and began stirring.

     “Ooh, sweetie, are you trying to help?” Gayle cooed as she came back into the room.

     Jacob nodded at her and she gave him a quick kiss on his forehead and picked back up. She got the cake in the pan and put it in the oven without a second thought.

     After she finished her sign and gathered the decorations, the timer went off. She took the cake out of the oven and got out the sugar icing. As she was about to start icing, she looked closely at the cake and swear she saw a fish tail.

     “Mama! Did I make it better?” Jacob asked happily.

     “What did you do?” Gayle asked, her stomach dropping.

     “Well we all looove fish. So I thought it’d be good in the cake!” He exclaimed.

     Gayle sighed, looking at the cake and then the time. She shrugged, they didn’t have time. She iced the cake and then packed everything into the car.

     At the party, everyone could see how hard Gayle had worked. So if the cake was gross, they all held their tongues and told her (and Jacob) what a good job she was doing.

     Toe Nail Soup

     Lisa the Aisha was laying on the living room floor with some soup. Her brother, Bart, came rocketing into the room and plopped down on the couch. He peeled off his socks to reveal the longest, nastiest toe nails Lisa had ever seen. She rolled her eyes at her brothers lack of hygiene and went back to her soup

     *clip* *clip* *clip*

     Bart was clipping his toenails. Lisa sighed as he took another spoonful and put it in her mouth. When she began chewing, something crunched! She chewed a few more times, tasting hints of cheese. She swallowed and looked back down at her soup. When Bart clipped his next nail, she watched as it flew over to her – right into her bowl!

     “UGH!” She cried. I just ate one of your toe nails!

     “How was it?” Bart grunted. Lisa paused, considering what she had tasted.

     “Not as bad as you’d think. I think we’re onto something.”

          Layered Snot Gobstopper

     Omar was a snotty guy. He couldn’t help it. He was always told he could produce enough snot to fill a swimming pool. A friend once jokingly suggest he collect the snot to see how much he makes. He decided to do that. He collected a big bundle, and then the next day went to add it on, only this snot had hardened a bit. He shrugged and added more, doing more and more every day, creating more and more layers of snot. Eventually he had a gobstopper sized snotball.

     His friends, being the entrepreneurs they are, decided to go and try to sell his snot gobstopper. There were multiple people interested and soon Omar had a business with something he produced every day!

     Tomato Stuffed Doughnut

     Toby was a gourmet chef, the best of the best! No Neopian could beat him. His specialty was his donuts.

     “What new ideas are you coming up with now?” People always asked him.

     There was so much pressure to come up with exciting foods, but he was running out of ideas. He made a dozen donuts and started mixing random ingredients in his kitchen together. He was trying to come up with something exotic, something that will get people talking. Everything was coming back as just plain disgusting. He was down to his last donut, he had no more flour, no more eggs, no more anything! All he has was… tomatoes.

     He sighed, desperation setting in as he chopped up a tomato and began stuffing it into the donut. Trying a bite, he was able to swallow it.

     “This is gross.” He thought. “But it’s not disgusting. It's the best I’ve got. I’ll roll with it.”

     Jellied Eggs

     Everybody hates morning, but no on hated mornings more than Olivia. Every morning she dragged herself out of bed and to the kitchen table, pulling some boiled eggs out of the refrigerator and grabbing her favorite ummagine jelly. She cut open her eggs and threw away the yolks, she never liked those. Finishing a slice of toast and still half asleep she picked up her other piece and jellied it up before putting it in her mouth and taking a bite. Coughing at a taste she wasn’t expecting, she looked at her hand and realized she had jellied her egg. How gross. She glanced around her kitchen before jellying up another half of an egg. Who needs devilled eggs when you’ve got jellied eggs.

     Toasted Quiggle Legs

     …You don’t even want to know.

          We hope you’ve enjoyed reading about the history of some of Neopia’s grossest items!


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