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Snaw's Beauty Post: Shampoos That Shine!

by downrightdude


     Hello, my adoring, impressionable fans! Welcome to the first ever issue of Snaw’s Beauty Post: Neopia’s most trusted and highly acclaimed series of articles centered on the dos and don’ts of Neopian grooming products. Of course I will be the one who will recommend the top best grooming products, while also warning all of you ‘average looking’ Neopians of the poorly made (and thought up) products you need to stay away from if you ever wish to attain to my high level of beauty perfection!

     *flips hair* It’s a sad fact of life that none of you will have hair as luscious, shiny, or as healthy as mine. But, with these following shampoos, you can try! And it’s exactly why I’ve decided to start of my new series of articles by discussing the best and worst shampoos Neopia has to offer. Because with these products, you can pretend to have my perfect strands of hair for a temporary amount of time, thus making you feel better and make yours even more fabulous!

     So, without further ado, let’s begin with my highest recommended products.

     Shampoos to Cry Over!

     Cloud Flotsam Shampoo


     Make your hair feel light as air with this cloud Flotsam shampoo!

     Who wouldn’t want their hair to feel as fluffy as a cloud? This highly sought after (and overpriced) shampoo has a neat conditioner that deeply nourishes your hair, making it feel nice and silky after just one wash! Many Neopians who’ve tried this claim that they don’t even need to wash their hair multiple times a week—the shampoo is so good, they can get away with just one hair washing session every two weeks, as opposed to doing it bi-daily like everyone else.

     I personally adore this shampoo, and not only because of the product. The blue bottle is so cute and somewhat resembles a snow-globe to me. Despite the high price, this creative shampoo is definitely a high pick!

     Usul Tail Shampoo


     Cherry scented Usul Shampoo will have all of your Neopets in a frenzy to take a bath.

     Despite the odd choice of a name, this shampoo can be used for all pets (and Snaw), not just Usuls and their fluffy tails. The bottle is shaped like an Usul’s bodice, which is made cuter by the addition of a plastic tail! How adorable! Anyway, this shampoo is not only fairly cheap, but the cherry scented shampoo works wonderfully for all hair and fur types.

     Don’t know for sure how many pets would ever be excited to take a bath because of a shampoo, but this product is still so cute and I highly recommend it for anyone with young pets! Or if you’re just a fan of cherry-scented grooming products. Either way, you can’t lose.

     Raindrop Shampoo


     This wonderful gentle shampoo leaves a bit of sparkling glitter in your hair.

     Now who can honesty say they wouldn’t be tempted by a shampoo that promises sparkly hair!?!?! NO ONE THAT’S WHO!! *foams at mouth*

     This wonderful shampoo comes in a sparkly blue bottle, which is perfect because it really exemplifies the promise this product carries. The shampoo’s rainwater scent is most refreshing, and while the shampoo leaves your hair nice and silky, it will also leave your hair SPARKLY for three days! So if you haven’t tried this shampoo yet for some reason, BUY IT! BUY IT NOW!!!! And, uh, look fabulous till it’s time to rewash your hair!

     Rainbow Wocky Shampoo


     This shampoo will make you want to wash your hair over and over again!

     This berry-scented shampoo is so colorful! Almost every color of the rainbow is represented in this unique shampoo—both inside and on the Wocky-shaped bottle. Regardless of the name, this product can be used on ALL pets and is even gentle enough to use on the smallest of Petpets. (Petpetpets need their own shampoo, though.)

     Not only does this product create rainbow colored bubbles while you’re washing, but the shampoo itself will also detangle and condition anyone’s fur or hair, no matter how dirty or scruffy! The retail price is very pricey, but the results are all so worth it. But it now!

     Superstar Shampoo


     Yet another fabulous product from the Superstar range. Guaranteed to remove even the toughest tangles.

     My final shampoo recommendation may not have the prettiest bottle—and the berry scent isn’t original at all—but the results it gives is definitely worth the price! For any pets with tangled fur or hair, this shampoo will not only detangle; your hair or fur will feel pillow-soft after just one wash! This is especially useful for owners who hate detangling their pet’s hair or fur with pesky plastic combs. Give your pets the ‘superstar feels’ with this snazzy shampoo!

     Trust me: Snaw, Neopia’s brightest Superstar!

     Honourable Mentions



     Plain ol’ shampoo. Works, but is nothing special.

     Illusen Organic Replenishing Shampoo


     Scent is perfect for those who don’t mind smelling like leaves and grass. Pretty bottle!

     Fyora Shampoo


     Fyora has a shampoo that doesn’t double as a hair or fur dye. Nice results, questionable grape berry scent.

     Doglefox Shampoo


     Basic blueberry scented shampoo with the world's cutest bottle cap! Perfect for younger pets.


     Chocolate Shampoo


     You will smell so much like chocolate, even your friends will want to devour you.

     First off, chocolate-scented grooming products are SOO Year 9! Secondly, this shampoo is extremely sticky and nearly impossible to wash out of anybody’s hair or fur! So I highly doubt that anybody would want to devour you if you’ve used this repulsive excuse of a shampoo…well, unless you’re the type of soul who’d want to waste two-three hours washing shampoo out of your hair or fur and then grumbling about how tangled and rough your hair or fur is because of your ill-advised purchase!

     Save the chocolate for more important things, like desserts and snacks. Not for grooming products!

     Corn Silk Shampoo


     Nothing gets hair silkier than the silk from an ear of corn.

     Who in Neopia thought it would be a wonderful idea to make shampoo out of corn!?!? Now only is the corn scent unattractive and gag-worthy, but the ‘corn silk’ appeal wears off as you notice the long, slim pieces of corn silk soaked inside this oddly smooth concoction of a shampoo. Does this shampoo work well? It’s alright, but definitely NOT worth anything higher than a hundred neopoints.

     The overall bottle design is adorable—and the only good thing about this product. But don’t let the cute bottle design tempt you! It’s a marketing ploy! A scheme! Ooga booga!

     Rain Water Shampoo


     Clean and condition your pet’s hair with this wonderful rain water based shampoo.

     First off, let’s make one thing clear: the shampoo is packaged in a water bottle! A cheap, plastic water bottle that was made for drinking water!! How lame. *eye roll*

     Yes the corsage-thing wrapped around the bottle is adorable—though non-removable—but the packaging itself isn’t the only thing that’s cheap with this shampoo. This product is, honestly, just water scented with who-knows-what-chemicals and then branded as a ‘shampoo’ because it can’t be branded as an actual bottle of water. And because it’s just scented water, this fake-shampoo doesn’t clean your pets’ fur or hair. Instead, it just douses it in water and…well, that’s it. Nothing beneficial, and definitely not worth the cheap price. It’s cheap for a reason, readers!

     Gravy Shampoo


     Nothing says clean like bottled turkey drippings

     Gravy + shampoo + your hair or fur = MEGA EWWW!!!!!

     Must I say anything more about this gnarly excuse of a shampoo? Honestly, the only type of consumer that would actually enjoy this grotesque product would be somebody who consumes nothing but meat, wears outdated clothing and bathes once a month! And despite the added gravy, this product is NOT EDIBLE!

     I repeat in caps loud enough to simulate shouting: THIS SHAMPOO ISN’T EDIBLE!!! DON’T BUY IT FOR EATING OR GROOMING PURPOSES!!

     Grey Shampoo


     Lather rinse and repeat... if you really want to.

     The final product of shame is one so boring, even the description can’t vouch for its usefulness. Yes, the bottle has an interesting shape, but what’s so great about a shampoo that literally says ‘use me once and then throw me away’? The shampoo itself is grey and…well, that’s it. Yes it washes your hair, but it’s unscented and there’s no conditioner added.

     While definitely not as bad as the ugly Gravy Shampoo, this one’s just blah and the point of its existence is confusing and ultra lame. My suggestion: forget this one and buy something prettier instead.

     There you have it, my fellow beauty-wannabe Neopians! My first ever Beauty Post article has concluded! Thanks so much for reading and listening (plus agreeing) to everything I’ve said. Until next time, my darling and impressionable fans!

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