Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 195,039,356 Issue: 816 | 15th day of Awakening, Y20
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Valentine Rarities to Keep Away from a Brat

by _brainchild_


      ---Starring Walda the (bratty) Baby Kacheek and her sisters, Maldice the Stealthy Draik and Chessella the Pastel Draik!---

      Me: Welcome, reader! Valentine's Day is known for all the candy eaten and all the valentines that are exchanged at the time. I know that I am very happy whenever I receive a box of chocolates---

      Walda: Did someone say CHOCOLATE?!

      Me: Sorry, I don't have anything.

      Maldice: ---whispers--- Shhh... don't tell her about that item we've got for sale.

      Me: I won't.

      Walda: ---wanders off curiously---

      Me: Anyway, Valentine's Day is also known for the gifts that are given. Of course, there's the classic box of... candy, but there are also many other creative and unique gift ideas which your friend will surely love. Some are incredibly rare and valuable, making them a great choice for someone you truly care about. Here are the items which my pets and I recommend:


      Me: First up are Draik Valentine Bubbles. What child doesn't like blowing whimsical, shiny bubbles? With the help of this toy, you, too, can create majestic orbs bearing a bright rainbow sheen. The container is oh so adorable, taking the shape of a pink Draik's head. There is even a heart on the end of the wand. How magical! If I had been the designer, then the bubbles would have been heart-shaped, too!

      Maldice: Wait, where did she go?

      Me: I don't know. ---turns around--- Walda?! Where are you?


      Maldice: ---buries her head in her hands--- Another sugar rush.

      Walda: ---running around room--- ---candy wrappers flying everywhere---

      Me: ---gasp of horror--- Oh, no! Do NOT tell me she found it!

      Maldice: Unfortunately, she did. ---chases Walda and grabs her--- Off to your room, you little monster! ---carries Walda upstairs---

      Walda: ---tantrum--- CHOCOLLLLATTTEEEE!!!

      Maldice: ---throws Walda on the bed--- ---slams the door---

      Me: ---sigh--- That WAS a Silver Heart Box of Chocolates. The top of the box bears a picture of a smiling Silver Aisha, her beauty bound to please. There is also a shiny red ribbon decorating the lid. I never tried the chocolates, since we WERE trying to sell this rare item before Walda DESTROYED IT! However, they looked very tasty. I hope the little brat enjoyed herself. ---mutters---

      Maldice: "Brat" is an understatement. ---sighs--- At least we still have this Isca Valentine Cookie Pop.

      Me: Hide it! Now! There's chocolate icing on it!

      Walda: ---bursts out of her room--- Did someone say CHOCOLATE?! ---dashes downstairs---

      Maldice: ---ushers Walda outside--- No, you just have chocolate on the brain. ---waves--- Ella!

      Ella: What?

      Maldice: Please babysit this little... whatever you call her! Christine and I are trying to do a serious news piece! Walda already ruined one of our really expensive items!

      Ella: ---runs over and grabs Walda--- You're grounded! ---sigh--- Go play on the swingset.

      Walda: ---tantrum--- CHOC---

      Ella: What is this baby's deal?!

      Maldice: I know less than you. She's yours now! ---closes door and locks it---

      Me: Now I can describe this Isca Valentine Cookie Pop in peace. It consists of a heart which contains cherry filling, or so I am told. I would try it, but this is a really expensive item. Quite delicious, I imagine. The icing is adorned by crunchy sprinkles. The Isca ears are made of white... ---whispers--- ---chocolate--- enhanced by cyan food coloring. The bright pink ribbon on the stem is a beautiful decoration!

      ---knock on door---

      Me: ---hides cookie pop--- ---opens door--- What now?

      Ella: ---exasperated--- Little Miss Bratty accidentally fell in the pool. I had to grab her immediately, since she doesn't know how to swim yet, being so young. She needs to dry off and change her clothes.

      Me: Now we can put this Kacheek Valentine Hair Dryer to good use. ---pulls switch---

      Walda: ---stands under warm air--- This is boring! WAAAAHHH!!!

      Ella: Try this coloring book. ---hands over book--- ---turns to Maldice--- Don't worry, this one is really cheap. We don't need to sell it.

      Walda: ---scribbles intensely--- ---crayon noises---

      Maldice: ---sigh of relief---

      Me: Anyway, the Kacheek Valentine Hair Dryer. This cute commodity bears hues of sunshine yellow, aquatic blue, and flowery pink. Its vibrant appearance is enhanced by two gorgeous hearts: one on the dryer itself, and the other on the end of the cord switch. The dryer turns on when you pull on said cord. The air can be very powerful; it may be too much for---

      Walda: WAAAAAAAHHHH! My head burns! WAAAAAAAHHHH!

      Ella: ---switches off dryer--- ---feels Walda's hair--- It's damp now. She should be able to run around without soaking everything. ---picks up coloring book--- Here, finish your---

      Maldice: ---gasp of horror--- Walda! You little beast! That's not yours!

      Ella: ---runs over to Walda--- You brat! That, too, is a really expensive item! ---confiscates Blue Hearts Notepad---

      Maldice: ---examines item--- We should still be able to sell it if we rip the first page out.

      Ella: Good idea. ---rips out page---

      Me: Thankfully, we were able to save THAT, at least. The Blue Hearts Notepad is a beautiful spiral notebook. The cover is as blue as the sky, and the spiral bears a lovely shade of pink. The hearts assume variations of pink and blue, including one giant, baby blue heart in the lower right-hand corner. This notebook is too nice to take to school, where it will surely get ruined!


      Maldice: Thank Fyora! She tired herself out.

      Ella: ---claps--- Maybe we'll actually be able to get something done while she sleeps.

      Maldice: Where do we start?! Having a small child is bound to ruin any house!

      Ella: ---picks up broken crayons and candy wrappers--- Anywhere. This place is worse than the Meridell Rubbish Dump!

      Me: ---gazes around--- You're right! I've been so fixated on gaming and my creative work that I hardly noticed this mess!

      Ella: ---lifts couch cushion--- Oh, here's that toy she lost last week. She threw a tantrum because she couldn't find it!

      Me: ---gets out vacuum--- Anyway, we have a lot of work to do right now. Until next time, cheers!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Happy Valenpine's Day!
Cuny words...

Collaboration with Rurirawr.

by dirt_tea


Mundo The Grundo vs The Alien Aishas:Part Four
Last time on Mundo The Grundo vs The Alien Aishas

Mundo had gotten himself in quite the predicament, finding himself arrested and placed in jail among a group of other criminals. A stroke of luck occurred when the electricity was knocked out, causing all the cell pods to malfunction and release the prisoners. The rag tag trio of Mundo, Tyree the Lutari, and a tax-evading Acara named Petrina set off to try to create a weapon to fend off the enemy, but they were stopped short.

by randmar


Six Astonishing Outfits For Your Valentine
It’s that time of the year again where everything is pink, red and covered in hearts. Valentine’s Day is a great time to show your precious Neopets just how much you care about them. How you ask?

Also by teukieteukie and imbitter

by madiwoo


The Whispering Wail Sword:Part Three
A monstrous Slorg had cornered Mina. She stood back against the wall, spear aimed at the beast. It reminded Talzadon of the Monoceraptor both in size and ferocity.

by purplehopper

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.