The Fastest Way To Lose Your Money!
We all work hard here on Neopets, whether it is by spending day and night restocking or running out fingers raw playing flash game after flash game. It seems like almost everyone is on a quest to get rich, and to get rich quick, but what can you even do when you have it all? When you have a bank account full of millions upon millions, or you have invested those millions into rare items that are just growing in value by the day? Buying items is not a waste of money, specifically items that are never destroyed. For instance, buying most Battledome weapons can be seen as an investment, a way of making MORE money. You can just sell it later, possibly breaking even, or if you are lucky making even more. So how do you get rid of money, exactly?
What? You are shocked about that? We live our Neo-lives tied to our Neopoints, slaving away to earn as many as we can and enjoying it along the way, but what is the point of having money if you never spend it!? Most people spend their money on worthwhile things, like weapons and wearables, but those can be re-sold. For more disposable things, people buy stamps and paint brushes, they are very valuable and once they are used they are gone for good. That isn’t a waste though, that is a valuable commodity onto your account or pet. What if you just want to trash your Neopoints and laugh it all away while you do so!? This guide is for you!
Gambling is a great way to run your bank account right into the ground. The concept is simple: you take a bit of money and risk it in hopes of winning more money. You may be asking yourself “if I can win money, how is it a waste?” I have a simple answer for you: the odds are never in your favor. If gambling were a sure fire way to grow your bank account, no one would work a day in their lives. Gambling really is a way for the casino to make money, not the customer, so if you want to make your money disappear you have a few options here in Neopia.
Slot machines are the most direct, you put your money in and you barely get even a fraction of that money back. You can just sit and click, keep spinning those wheels and watching your Neopoints on hand dwindle into nothing. If you play hard enough, you may even become one of the month’s biggest losers and walk away with a trophy! Bad ideas are sometimes rewarded like that.
But if you want to waste your money and spread it around the economy a bit, you can gamble with things like nerkmids and treasure maps. With nerkmids, you can buy them from user shops for a decent chunk of change and insert them into a machine built by aliens (sounds like a good idea). Usually you will get gross food in return, but sometimes you will get something as rare as a paint brush. If you are solely in this to lose money, sell that paint brush and use the money to buy more nerkmids!
With treasure maps, you buy all the pieces (check the Trading Post), and hope it leads you to buried treasure. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t. And these maps are expensive, as you need nine pieces to complete it.
Wheel Of Misfortune
This isn’t the FASTEST way to waste money, but it is a great way to not only lose Neopoints but also to put your Neopet’s health in jeopardy, thus forcing you to waste more money to buy a cure. You pay this terrible wheel a visit, and spin! On most wheels you can get lucky and at least break even, but with this wheel...not much good can come of it. You will be considered lucky if you only have a healing potion stolen by the pant devil instead of a Super Attack Pea. Or, if you are trying to waste money, maybe you want that Super Attack Pea stolen!
The Wishing Well
The Wishing Well is a place that you can go with all your hopes and dreams, toss a little money into the fountain, and see if your wish gets granted. There are a few expensive items that you could obtain, but most items don’t seem to be very rare. If you want to just dump some money in, make a high donation and wish for something mundane like a Pile Of Dung, or shoot for something more existential like world peace! You could also make an honest attempt to solve world hunger by wishing for food items and donating them to the Money Tree! Though, philanthropy is not a waste of money so it doesn’t fit so well on this guide. But if you are feeling generous, you can throw some NP over in the Money Tree as well!
The Lever Of Doom
To round off this list, you can pay a visit to the Lever Of Doom. No one really knows for sure what it does, it could be a direct donation to Sloth’s army for all we know. Really, the only thing we know is that it snatches NP from you every time you pull it, so if you want to get rid of some excess finances, keep pulling!! There is seemingly no limit on how many times you can pull the lever per day, so theoretically the amount of NP you could erase from the economy is infinite.
These aren’t the only ways to waste your money, but they are some of my favorite. Just remember, life isn’t all about wasting your money, be sure to spend it on something to treat yourself once in a while. You worked hard for it, you deserve something nice. For some of us it is nice to just watch all that money go goodbye, and if you have never tried it before you should give it a shot! It can be a little addictive. I have to go play some more flash games now, living this kind of lifestyle leaves me constantly broke!