The Times' List of the Ten Most Influential Neopians
We have tallied the scores, and collected the votes. Through the magic of maths and fudging numbers, and totally absolutely unbiased reporting, I present the first ever Neopian Times’ List of the Ten Most Influential Neopians!
10. King Roo
We were surprised at this one ourselves, to be honest, but apparently this monarch is beloved by all on Roo Island and beyond! Not only that, but since the introduction of Dice-a-Roo, tourism has increased by 68% on the island, with most of these visitors going to see the king for a chance at the jackpot. Unfortunately, due to the calculations and data used by the Times to compile this list objectively, this does mean he just manages to squeeze on to the top ten.
Poor King Skarl, pushed to number eleven…this won't improve his mood.
It's been years since Jhudora became a public figure, giving out quests to visitors who come to her Bluff, and getting peevish when they don't return with that four hundred thousand Neopoint item she asked for…and yet still her influence is felt. She's a hit with the younger Neopian generation who enjoy emulating her dress sense. Enter any Neoschool or university, and you'll find those kids head-to-toe in black, with accents of green and purple (and, sometimes, more black!). Since the introduction of her own brand make up and perfume earlier this year, it has become even more fashionable to look like everyone's favourite dark faerie, and hundreds of Neopians will make the pilgrimage to her bluff in the next year.
Speaking to her official spokesperson, it has been confirmed that she is in the middle of case against the producers of alleged knock off cosmetics, for using her name without permission. The Times will report on the situation as it develops.
Well, it's no surprise Darigan made the list, given he’s one of the few Neopians who managed to create a whole new Neopet colour…well, kind of, if you pretend that the whole terrible curse ordeal was 'creating'. But! He did make it available for all when the fashionistas decided that being grotesque (no offence, of course, to our Darigan readers…) was 'in' a few seasons after the second Meridell/Darigan War. Anyway, it's impressive when anyone other than a faerie manages to rule a floating kingdom - now the only floating kingdom in Neopia! Sources close the Queen Faerie tell me that Fyora does not like to talk about that.
Nowadays, sources say that Darigan is best buddies with Skarl and Jeran and all those he once fought against. You know what they say: to make friends, you have to have a common enemy, and they found that in Lord Kass.
Note to Readers: We advise that when in the presence of Lord Darigan, you do not mention the war!
7. Princess Amira
As beautiful as she is clever, this is one Princess who knows how to throw an outfit together. And, of course, rule an entire city with a well-manicured fist. This Princess rose to fame after, you know, the whole business with Jazan. Rumour has it that when she finds out Jazan placed higher on this list than she did, there will be swift and terrifying retribution. This is a pet that you do not want to cross!
The hero that Neopia deserved - and wanted! Without him, Meridell may never have won the war. Some would argue that it was in fact his sister, Lisha, but look, nerdy Aishas don’t make such striking tapestries!
5. Jazan & Nabile
The power couple of Neopia, Jabile, as they are sometimes called are the most surprising pairing since Chokato and Borovan - delicious, but takes you a while to get over the initial sick feeling welling at the back of your throat.
Jazan might seem like a big bad, but Nabile’s affection for him has really proved to us that, in fact, he’s a big softie. But I’d advise against saying that to his face.
Nabile, on the other hand, is Qasala’s sweetheart, who helped break the curse put upon the ruined city.
4. Emperor of Shenkuu
Time and time again, reporters have requested interviews with this famous man, but no one has outside the royal household has seen him. It is said that even his servants have to look away when serving him. His reign, shrouded as it is, has attracted many tourists who love to hear stories of this unusual ruler. He is beloved amongst the Shenkuu population.
From what we could gather from rumours and tales, the Emperor is said to be a big supporter of his Yooyuball team, and one gossipy Gelert told us that he is known to venture to the games in disguise, wearing face coverings devised by the expert royal tailors and seamstresses.
It is said he is wise, fair but thorough and does not take breaking Shenkuu laws lightly. We advise you don't get caught smuggling in Shenkuu - not that we advise smuggling in the first place, of course!
3. King Altador
The very image of Kingliness! He also looks a bit like your grandfather who you know you should see more, but gosh he lives on the other side of Neopia and it's a long way to go and look just because I’m an Eyrie doesn’t mean that flying doesn’t take effort, will you get off my case already? Ugh.
He’s foiled many a plot, and his advice is sought by many of Neopia’s royalty. He is obviously quite conceited too, having named his entire kingdom after him. Thank Fyora that Skarl didn’t think to do the same - “Skarl” isn’t exactly as melodious as Meridell, is it?
Never has one man produced so much fear in Neopia, and all from a guy who looks like a giant green thumb! What kind of pet is he, anyway? Nobody knows, and that only adds to the mystery that surrounds the most evil genius in all of Neopia and beyond. Somehow endearing despite being wet yourself terrifying, since his first ever plot to take over the planet, his iron grip of fear over us Neopians has never wavered! Only narrowly defeated in each plot, we all hope he doesn't learn his lessons and come back for the return of the return of the return of…oh, it's easy to lose track of how many times we've been tormented by this guy. Whatever number the next comeback will be, we can rest assured - or perhaps not! - that this super villain will be returning eventually.
Actually, has anyone else noticed the suspicious rise in mutated pets recently…?
Perfectly predictable, isn’t it? Queen Fyora has been the most influential Neopian since the very birth of Neopia it seems. And no, I’m not sure how old that makes her either!
Faerieland, the most influential land we have, is led deftly into the future by the benevolent Fyora, who, save for that one time, has never been defeated. And even that was a close call that ended in ruin for Xandra. She manages to keep Jhudora & Illusen in line (not least by sending Illusen to a different land entirely…) and has always had her head screwed on right.
What more can be said of Fyora that hasn’t been said already? We’ll see if I can think of new adjectives for her come next year’s list which will undoubtedly feature her in the number one spot again. Congrats, Fyora, for managing to top the list for another year!
See you next year, where we’ll see if King Roo manages to keep the number 10 spot then. My money is on “no”.