Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 194,748,823 Issue: 791 | 28th day of Swimming, Y19
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Five Potential Sources of Trudy’s Surprise Neopoints


by saintmotel

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In the middle of the month of Swimming during Y18, the course of Neopian history changed forever. This happened when a hapless, young Ixi named Trudy discovered an incredible piece of technology – a slot machine that seemed to dispense unlimited Neopoints on a daily basis. Trudy, having known misfortune, took this opportunity to spread the wealth far and wide across Neopia, with the goal that no one live in the same poverty that she had known. Neopians have since integrated spinning this magnificent slot machine into their daily ritual. Rares that were previously unobtainable for most Neopians, such as expensive paint brushes, holographic stamps, and limited-edition plushies, are now enjoyed by a much larger breadth of Neopets. Suffice to say, the good tidings of Trudy’s magnanimous surprise have been felt far and wide in the past few years, but people rarely think about where exactly these Neopoints are coming from. Are they generated from some alien technology, or summoned by dark faerie magic, or even smuggled from secret treasure troves? With this article, I intend to take a look at a few hypotheses to hopefully shed some light on this burning question.

1. Teleported from Gordos the Collector’s Vault

Altador, a city built on years of rich history and success, is famous for its esteemed noblemen and councilmembers. Gordos the Collector, one of the central figures in Altador’s success, is in charge of tax collection. His vault of tax money is just as awe-inspiring as you’d expect, dwarfing the bank accounts of even the richest Neopians. While Gordos is known for his scrupulous attitude towards bookkeeping, it is fully possible that small fractions of these extravagant riches go towards supplying Trudy’s slot machine with the necessary funds. A wormhole in the far back corner of the Altadorian coffers sucking up even one ten thousandth of the available money would certainly be enough to provide for daily money for all of Neopia and then some. If this were the case, however, there would certainly be some unfortunate legal implications of the money’s ownership. All those who have a vested stake in the continued existence of Trudy’s Surprise should hope that this is not so.

2. Donations from Very Rich Slorgs

Any veteran Neopian surely is aware of the very rich Slorgs that inhabit the Shop of Offers in Neopia Central. These philanthropic petpets offer a few Neopoints to anyone who crosses their path in said shop – however, they surely have a much larger pool of wealth that they pull their riches from. It is fully possible that these slimy friends stock Trudy’s machine for the sake of the happiness of Neopians. Additionally, Slorgs are definitely small enough to sneakily fit inside the machine and deposit small sums of Neopoints. This begs the question though, where do these Slorgs get their Neopoints? The answer to that is probably the profitable marrow economy that they leech off of. The thing is, if the Slorgs were to confirm that they are in fact supplying Trudy’s machine, I’m sure they could fashion a deal with farmers where they can have some of their marrow without having to steal it. Keep on checking Meridell Marrow News for more developments in this area – in the mean-time, it’s still worthwhile to consider other possibilities.

3. Profits from Fyora’s Hidden Tower

The experienced merchants and traders of Neopia know that there is a special boutique shop available if they desire to do some massive damage to their bank account – the Hidden Tower. Cloaked with Fyora’s incredible magic, the Hidden Tower stocks a seemingly endless quantity of wares. They range from cute toys to impossibly powerful weapons. At the most, they cost upwards of fifteen million neopoints! And with hundreds of customers a day, Fyora needs even more magic to store the billions of neopoints she accumulates from sales. But what if that magic malfunctions? Falling miles out of the sky must’ve done a number on Fyora’s magical ability. While Faerieland has recovered, it is fully possible that some rogue magic could have started siphoning funds from Fyora’s money stockpile while she was weak and recovering. We reached out to Fyora, asking whether or not the book-keeping on the Hidden Tower’s profits has been scrupulously checked recently. As expected, she was a little secretive. Does this indicate that there is foul play going on? We may never know.

4. Heermeedjet and Merouladen Giving Back

These two career thieves plagued Neopia for years with their evil schemes. Most famous for being foiled during their plot to steal King Coltzan III’s crown under Malkus Vile’s orders, this dastardly duo has since gone on to make it big on their own. While they are not the most cunning criminals, they often times have managed to escape before being caught. They have stolen large but unknown amounts of neopoints from both the Qasalan treasury and the National Neopian Bank. They certainly have pilfered enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, but some have hypothesized that they have turned over a new leaf in recent years. Justified by recent decreases in crime rates, Heermeedjet and Merolauden have given up their life of crime and have turned to philanthropy instead. It is unknown how they could potentially orchestrate the creation of a magic money-giving machine, but they certainly have the funds to do it. While we don’t know how likely this scenario is, it certainly warms our hearts.

5. A Benevolent Mutant Kadoatie

I have heard it. You have heard it. We have all heard the incessant mewing of a mutant Kadoatie. And this mewing is sometimes so shrill and infuriating, we feel inclined to just throw some money at it to get it to go away. Yet this Kadoatie still mews and wanders and continues to annoy all of Neopia. This Kadoatie has been seen in both the depths of Maraqua and the annals of the Virtupets Space Station – taking money from innocent Neopians where it goes. But what if this Kadoatie just had a thorn in its paw? What if it was suffering a slight discomfort that caused it to start crying, but no one has been inclined to help it because of its off-putting mutant aesthetic. This “greedy” Kadoatie potentially never wanted our Neopoints in the first place, but only wanted some comfort and companionship. I hypothesize that this Kadoatie, upon realizing the error of its ways, decided to bless all of us as repayment for its misdeeds. This Kadoatie doesn’t even want the recognition that would come with being Neopia’s greatest philanthropist. It just wants to return the favor.

So after a review of the potential sources of Trudy’s Surprise money, are we any closer to solving this mystery? Barely. But these hypotheticals are the best we’ve got so far. I implore you, the reader, to use your inquisitive nature and start thinking about all of the possibilities. For now, I hope you can at least appreciate Trudy’s gift to us a little bit more. And maybe be a little more sympathetic to those “greedy” mutant Kadoaties :)

 
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