Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 194,623,805 Issue: 781 | 12th day of Hunting, Y19
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A Trip to Tyrannian Plateau


by hectic_haley

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In honor of the upcoming Tyrannian Victory Day, I decided to venture into the Plateau to experience the culture, the tastes, and the sites of Tyrannia. You could tell that the Plateau was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming holiday. The streets were crowded, there was a line into everything, and every Tyrannian seemed to have a smile on their face. I had a list of tourist things to do that was recommended by a friend, but in the moment I ripped it in half. If I wanted to experience the Plateau firsthand, I had to do it like a local.

My first stop was Tyrannian Food. Though I was tempted to hit up the Giant Omelette, I felt that this food shop would have more authentic and real food. I gave the owner my budget and asked that he just suggest a few foods. The first thing he hands me is Grarrl Saliva Soup. I cringed a bit but resisted the urge to ask if it is really Saliva or not. It’s served in a cute stone bowl, with a Grarrl attached to the side. It was steaming, so it was definitely fresh. There were a few lumps of something in the soup, but I really don’t want to know what it is. It’s hard to describe the smell since the shop is so full of different smells from all of the foods. I took a small bite of the broth and it’s actually decent. It’s got a meat-like taste and is nicely seasoned. My next bite I pick up a chunk. It’s got a soft texture and no real taste. I’m not the biggest fan, but the broth helps me get it down.

Once I had finished the bowl, he brings me a Hut of Mashed Potatoes. It is absolutely adorable and probably the best thing I had tried in Tyrannia. First off, it is literally shaped like the huts you’d see walking down the street. It has windows and doors carved out. This dish definitely takes some time to prepare, and has a great taste too! I don’t think I’ve ever eaten something so fast in my life. It was so salty and buttery, and absolute perfection. The next thing I try is a Lean Meat Kebab. It’s basically just a bone and a complete waste of money. It was so tough to chew on the few strands of meat. Definitely, avoid this if you are planning to taste Tyrannian cuisine.

For dessert, he brings out Minty Rock Ice Cream. I wish I was lying when I said there were actually rocks in it. I jokingly asked the shop owner about it, but he just smiled. When I took my first bite I nearly spit it out to say OUCH! Those rocks were so hard and my teeth absolutely could not handle it. The mint ice cream itself was really good though. I picked around the rocks til it was just a cone and rocks. I thought about eating the cone, but it looked a bit hairy and I didn’t want to deal with picking hair out of my teeth.

Once I had finished eating, I decided to check out the War Memorial since that was the sole reason for my visit. To be honest, I didn’t really know all that much about the war. I was too young when it happened to understand anything that was going on. To read about the history was chilling, but something really caught me off guard. As they celebrated their victory, a voice had spoken, "That puny creature of mine has failed... but Neopia has not yet seen the last of me... I will return... oh, yes... I will return. Reading that quote left me with goosebumps. Though years have passed and no one seems scared, I was definitely a bit on edge. These Tyrannians would soon celebrate their victory, but what if disaster struck? Though I wanted to pay my respects, I was too on edge and decided to leave. Though I had survived creepiness of the Deserted Fairground, this felt all too real.

I decided the best way to distract myself was to attend a concert, so I made my way over to the ticket booth. Jazzmosis was playing, and I had always wanted to hear them live. I hastily handed over 1,250 neopoints, wishing I had found another avenue to pay for a ticket. This was quite a large sum for a relatively short concert. Ticket in hand, I made my way to the concert hall. They definitely did not look like a band that should be performing in Tyrannia. They looked nothing like the citizens and the sound of their music was so soothing. Despite this, the Concert Hall was packed with many adoring fans. Though some were tourists like me, a lot definitely hailed from Tyrannia. I have to say, my favorite performer was the Grarrl on the saxophone. Man, could he play that thing. On my way out I even got some free merchandise: a pair of Jazzmosis Glasses.

I know I said I wouldn’t visit the omelette because it was a tourist attraction, but I just could not resist it and you know what, there were a surprising number of Tyrannians there preparing their own omelettes with their own ingredients. I stood a few feet back for a couple of minutes to people watch. These citizens had brought their own peppers, sausages, and tomatoes. The smell of the omelette was delicious, and despite the fact that I was so full, I just had to grab one. I managed to snag a Veggie Delight Omelette and it looked delicious. Unfortunately, being as clumsy as I am, I dropped it on the ground and it was immediately taken from me by a Gruslen. I sighed, but did not chase after it. It probably needed the omelette more than myself. Before I left, I caught the eye of a local and asked them what happens if the omelette runs out. He explained to me that any time it has ever run out, a new egg has appeared to feed them. I thought this was odd, but smiled and thanked him for my time.

The sun was setting as I left the omelette, so I decided to call it a day. Though it was filled with food and music, my day still felt strange. I was concerned about the voice that had spoken years ago. I certainly hope this Victory Day goes well.

 
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