Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 194,504,076 Issue: 770 | 24th day of Awakening, Y19
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Neopia Police Blotter

by the_crimson_rose



      11:53 AM – A caller from the 80000 block of Main Street reported a Chocolate Chia being chased by a Spotted Lupe. The situation was mediated when their owner was called. This had been an ongoing issue, and family counseling was suggested.

      12:02 PM – A caller from the 70000 block of Soup Alley reported the theft of a bowl of Potato and Leek soup from the Soup Faerie. The caller said she knew this pet to have more than 10,000 neopoints in the bank.

      2:22 – A caller from the 100000 block of Magical Road reported the Pant Devil stole his Rod of Supernova. Boo, hiss.

      4:18 – A caller from the 30000 block of Market Square reported a Camouflage Scorchio was parading around a chunk of Lime Jelly, proclaiming he had discovered the secret location of Jelly World. He was told that he had not and to not say a word to anyone about where he did not in fact discover “Jelly World.” Please and thank you.



      11:38 AM – A caller from the 9000 block of Bubbling Pit Road reported that a red Kougra appeared to be having trouble swimming. Local Maraquans helped the Kougra swim to the surface before authorities arrived.

      12:45 PM – A caller from the 12000 block of Deep Sea Row reported a juvenile Maraquan Shoyru sneaking away pieces of the ruins.



      6:57 AM – A caller from Meri Acres reported possible theft from his potato crop. He counted fifty missing potatoes.

      9:00 AM – A disgruntled caller from the 50000 block of Turnip Close reported a Dogglefox pooped in his field. The owner was contacted and retrieved the petpet after scooping the dung.

      12:14 PM – A caller from the 70000 block of Meri Street reported that his house had been pelted with rotten tomatoes. He suspected a couple juvenile Kacheeks from down the street.

      3:35 PM – A caller reported multiple petpets egging on the Turmaculus. The caller requested authorities stop them before the Turmaculus woke up and got angry with them.



      9:50 AM – An irate caller from the 92000 block of Hagan Row reported an insolent individual who had the audacity to pitch a stone through her stained glass window. She requested the perpetrator be thus dealt justly with in the eyes of the law.

      10:12 AM – A business on the 25000 block of Learned Street reported the apparent theft of an antique scroll. It was among the most recherché of the items in his inventory, and explained the repercussions of an ignorant and discourteous society. The caller proposed that if the ignoramus who pilfered the scroll has no intention of returning it, perhaps he or she should consider reading it and pondering its meaning.



      4:23 PM – A caller from the 45000 block of Darigan Drive reported a Light Faerie sighting! Boo, hiss.



      2:20 PM – A frightened caller from the 2000 block of Terror Road reported strange noises coming from the trees and requested extra patrols.

      2:25 PM – A terrified caller from the 30000 block of Evil Street reported a ghost sighting and requested a ride back to Neopia.

      2:26 PM – A petrified caller from the 90000 block of Spider Lane reported shadows moving all around him.

      2:32 PM – A mortified caller from the 100000 block of Dark Forest Path reported he was lost and barely had enough reception to call. He was in pitch darkness and requested his own extraction.

      2:40 PM – A horrified caller from a graveyard on Tombstone Road reported a possible zombie sighting.

      3:00 PM – A business from the 38000 block of Ghoul Close requested the land be shut down to tourists for the day because authorities could not keep up with the calls and requests for help.



      10:19 AM – A caller from the 500 block of Moonrock Landing reported the theft of precious metals.

      1:15 PM – A caller from the 1000 block of Crater Lake reported her Faerie Grundo may have been abducted by a Sloth follower. The Grundo was later found to have wandered to the Neocola Machine to cash in some coins.






      1:13 PM – A caller from the 200000 block of Summit Strip reported a shivering striped Wocky. The Snow Faerie was requested. Thaelia retrieved the Wocky and warmed her up in her own residence with a fire and cup of cocoa before escorting her home.

      3:34 PM – A caller from the 10000 block of Icy Road reported their Abominable Snowball missing. It was discovered an hour later, playing on a frozen pond, and returned home.

      6:10 PM – A caller from the Snowager’s Cave reported than the creature was refusing to give up some of its treasure.

      7:15 PM – A caller from the 75000 block of Summit Strip reported a green Tuskininny dangling from the cliff. He was then rescued by several onlookers.

      8:52 PM – A business from the 34000 block of Ski Lodge Close reported several customers refusing to leave the business after closing time. They did not want to go out in the cold. They were lent several warm jackets and escorted home by a warm Fire Faerie called by the business owner.



      4:10 PM – Ugga ugg ugga The Plateau ug rawr uggi ug ugga. Aka ugga second slice of omelette ug. Ugga ugga arg ug ugga.

      5:15 PM – Uggh Ugg Road ugga ug Monoceraptor ugga uggh ahh aka ugh ugga a ug.

      10:51 PM – Aka gal ugga grugga Tyrammet aka ara gal ugga shinies. Haha!



      12:45 PM – A caller from the 75000 block of Safari Lane reported being chased by native cannibals.

      4:45 PM – A caller from the 12000 block of Coconut Road reported several Coconut Jubjubs in the trees, throwing real coconuts at a group of tourists and giggling.

      5:15 PM – A caller in Geraptiku reported getting lost in the Deserted Tomb and requested directions to the exit.



      8:45 AM – An irate caller from the 95000 block of Dune Street ranted that he believed the Pyramids game was rigged, despite assurances that it was not.

      9:19 AM – A caller from the 2000 block of Sakhmet Main Street reported an Anubis escaped from the Petpet stall. A passerby caught and decided to purchase the Anubis for her Desert Yurble.

      12:12 PM – A caller from the 3000 block of Sakhmet reported a green Bruce in an Island print shirt harassing the workers at the Fruit Machine. He demanded to receive at least a small prize after spinning the machine every day for a month. The situation was mediated and the Bruce moved along.



      8:50 AM – A caller from the 5000 block of Coral Cove reported her reef had been vandalized.



      1:00 PM – Illusen called from the 1000 block of Earth Faerie Close to report Jhudora was lurking in the shadows, intentionally irritating her. The situation was mediated by Fyora the Faerie Queen.

      1:42 PM – Jhudora reported from the 5000 block of Dark Faerie Path that Illusen was plotting retaliation against her. The situation was mediated by Fyora the Faerie Queen.

      2:55 PM – A fire faerie from the 55000 block of Fire Faerie Crescent reported that her flames were doused by a mischievous water faerie. The situation was mediated by Fyora the Faerie Queen.

      3:35 PM – A caller from the 2000 block of Faerie Lane reported two dark faeries harassing some young Neopets. A light faerie came to the rescue by blinding the dark faerie with her light. The situation was further mediated by Fyora the Faerie Queen.

      4:33 PM – An air faerie from the 34000 block of Air Faerie Avenue reported strong winds were blowing her and other faeries off course and wanted to make a public announcement to warn other faeries.

      5:55 PM – A caller from an undetermined area of Faerieland requested directions to the Hidden Tower. The caller became belligerent when directions were denied. The situation was mediated by Fyora the Faerie Queen.



      10:15 PM – A caller from the 14000 block of Sea View Terrace reported a sighting of an inhabitant who only ventures out at night.



      6:10 PM – A caller from the 30000 block of Shore Lane reported pirates commandeered his ship and marooned him on the island.

      11:50 PM – A caller from a business on 60000 Ahoy Drive reported local pirates had pillaged the shop – again. At least 100,000 neopoints worth of items had been looted.



      12:22 PM – A caller from the 22000 block of Olympic Drive reported that a duel had broken out. The situation was mediated.

      2:00 PM – A caller from the 92000 block of Braveheart Lane reported that his neighbor had dishonored his name.

      4:30 PM – A caller from the 25000 of Goldenrod Street reported that he had just awoken from a thousand year slumber and requested a copy of the Neopian Times to update him on what he missed.



      5:21 PM – A caller from the 22000 block of Squibble Berry Lane reported being lost and unable to find Kou-Jong because there were no written signs in the land.

      6:10 PM – A caller from the 19000 block of Tuan Path believes his wallet has been pick-pocketed.



      5:45 PM – A caller from the 57000 block of Lava Lane reported he dropped a bag of neopoints in the magma pool and asked if it could be retrieved. He was told that would be impossible.

      7:00 PM – A caller from the 98000 block of Volcanic View reported theft of machinery.



      1:13 PM – A caller reported an Orange Grundo running through the space station, ranting about the return of Doctor Sloth. The Grundo was consoled by the Space Faerie.



      Doesn’t exist, so no one called. Shh.


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