Meow Circulation: 194,397,092 Issue: 764 | 13th day of Sleeping, Y19
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How To Celebrate Sloth Day


by butterflybandage

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As we all know, the 14th day of Sleeping is dedicated to the greatest, most evilest (and handsomest!) villain in all of Neopia – the great Dr. Sloth! With thousands of forced Grundo minions and crazed fans, what can YOU do to set yourself apart and celebrate this devilishly good-looking evil scientist?

GAMES THAT HONOR THE GREAT DR. FRANK SLOTH

Why not kick off the day with a few fun games? There’s the riveting, heart-thumping game of The Return of The Return of Dr. Sloth, where you can witness Dr. Sloth’s impressive strength and witty strategy. If you’re a weakling who’s computer is incapable of playing Shockwave games (ha!), then why not try your luck at these other Slothtastic games?

Neverending Boss Battle is a game where you can’t possibly win, proving how strong Dr. Sloth is. You’re a tiny ship (even smaller compared to Dr. Sloth’s ego) whose sole purpose is to delay Sloth’s Battlecruiser. Naturally, you won’t be able to defeat the grand Frank Sloth, but it’s a fun game nevertheless—plus, who WOULDN’T want to spend a neverending battle with Sloth? Think of all the facetime you’ll get!

Ace Zafara is a fun game that shows Sloth’s ingenuity. Assaulting Ace with ads? How creative! If you’re lucky enough to best Sloth’s plans—which, trust me, is VERY hard to do considering how intelligent he is—then you might even score yourself a cool avatar! You’ll need a score of 700 or more though, and it’s no easy task.

A game that would be smart to avoid is Splat-a-Sloth, because … really, do you think it’s a smart idea to whack a sock that looks like the evil, cunning, non-forgiving Dr. Frank Sloth? Didn’t think so.

BOOKS THAT HONOR THE AMAZING DR. FRANK SLOTH

Why not read a cool story or two (or fifteen) to your Neopet in honor of Sloth? While prices range from a few thousand to a few million (worth it!), here’s my top five picks for the best Sloth stories.

1. Dr. Sloth Collectibles—this book is perfect for the Sloth-crazed Neopet or Neopian in your life! The book is a collection of Sloth-themed gifts; who WOULDN’T want this?! (~1,500 Neopoints)

2. Ruling The Universe—this rare, hard-to-find novel chronicles Dr. Sloth’s rules and guidelines for becoming the charming villain that, you guessed it, rules the universe! An amazing gift for anyone who really admires the great Dr. Sloth and wants to be just like him! (No price available)

3. The Complete Guide to Dr. Sloth—want to know Sloth’s favorite color? Birthday? Toothpaste brand? Look no further than this crazily in-depth book! It’ll tell you everything you’ve ever wanted, ever dared, ever DREAMED to know about the supervillain! (~3,200 Neopoints)

4. Most Memorable Dr. Sloth Quotes—words of wisdom compiled into one hard-to-put-down book. Tell me, what’s YOUR favorite Sloth quote? (~3,500 Neopoints)

5. Sloth Hair Tips—in three simple steps, you too can learn how to perfect Dr. Frank Sloth’s famous coif! (~2,500 Neopoints)

WEARABLES THAT IMITATE THE FASHIONABLE DR. FRANK SLOTH

What could prove your love of Dr. Frank Sloth more than dressing like the man? Whether you want Sloth memorabilia or Sloth’s cloak, you’ll be set in no time with these items!

Fake Sloth Tattoo—why not start off with this beautiful tattoo? Sloth’s profile encased in a heart, featured with a banner, is a statement piece! You’re sure to let your fellow Neopians know your dedication with this easy-to-remove fake tat!

I Club Sloth Grundo T-Shirt—are you, or someone you love, a Grundo who adores the evil Dr. Frank Sloth? Why not show your friends your dedication by adorning your Grundo in this classy, Sloth-green shirt?

My Best Buddy Sloth Cardboard Cutout—do you wish you could take Sloth with you everywhere, regardless of dress code? Maybe you’ve even wanted to go to Kelp and experience a nice seafood dinner with the villain? Why, you need to get yourself a cardboard cutout! Easily transportable, wrinkle-free, and made of genuine cardboard, you’ll be able to take Frank Sloth with you wherever you go, and trust me, no one will think it’s weird!

Slothy Smile—wish you could have the same charming effect as Sloth’s toothy grin? Why not invest in this great item, that will let your Neopet smile with the evilness of a thousand Sloths?

TOYS THAT ENTERTAIN THE DEVIOUS DR. FRANK SLOTH

When your Neopet starts feeling bored, it makes the most sense to have them play with a Sloth-themed toy! Why give them a boring old Lupe plushie when they can enjoy these?

Wind Up Dr. Sloth Toy—cute, inexpensive, and Sloth. What more could you want in a toy?

Sloth Beach Ball—enjoy the beaches of Kiko Lake or Mystery Island with this inflatable beach ball! It even features a realistic eye, so you can feel safe knowing Dr. Sloth has always got his eye on you. Always.

Dr. Sloth Nesting Dolls—what’s better than one Sloth? HOW ABOUT FOUR? It’s like a bunch of tiny, little Sloths making sure you’re being a good minion, and definitely not plotting against him.

Toys to avoid on this holiday are things that Sloth definitely wouldn’t approve of. Sloth Dartboard? Why would you want to hit his face with darts hundreds, even thousands of times? Anti Sloth Balloon? What are you, crazy?!

AVATARS THAT PLEASE THE BEAUTIOUS DR. FRANK SLOTH

Stick a Sloth-themed item in your pocket and visit a Halloween Moehog. This way you’ll get the “Moehog – Halloween” avatar, a fun avvie to adorn your account with if you like Dr. Frank Sloth and Moehogs!

Or take a trip to Dr. Sloth’s Loyalty Test on this man’s own special day! If you prove your utter, unwavering, undeniable loyalty to the His Great Evilness, you’ll get the “I *heart* Sloth” avatar! And, hey, two for the price of one, if you make this your current avatar and take a trip to Altador, you’ll be able to score “I *heart* Happiness”, which features a cute (but still evil) Plushie Dr. Frank Sloth.

There’s of course the “Sloth” avatar, which is only for a few lucky Neopians who have proved their utter, absolute loyalty. If Sloth thinks you’re trustworthy enough, he’ll visit you in a random event and present you with this exclusive avatar.

FOODS THAT DELIGHT THE RAVENOUS DR. FRANK SLOTH

There’s tons of food out there, but what can you serve at your Dr. Frank Sloth-themed event to really get the party started? Be advised, I wouldn’t recommend any of these items for the more picky eaters … it’s hard to tell what these foods are made of. Other than absolute deliciousness, of course.

Sloth Day Nachos—what’s better than chips, guacamole-looking dip, and uncertainty? Nothing! These will fill you up until you’re too sick to eat anything else!

Sloth Day Burgers—you’ve got the pick of the litter with a Wheaty Sloth Day Burger and a Plain Sloth Day Burger, the former of course being a healthier option. Sloth minions have to stay in shape, you know.

Lucky Sloth Day Dip—if you run out of toppings for your nachos, eat some dip! Tasty, questionable quality, and strangely beige, you’ll enjoy this at any party! (Ignore the label on the dip, that’s just for aesthetic.)

Sloth Day Soup—got an elderly partygoer? Don’t like burgers? Try some of the soup. You won’t regret it at all!

BATTLEDOME ITEMS THAT IMPRESS THE ALL-POWERFUL DR. FRANK SLOTH

Why not test your strength against those do-gooders in the Battledome? Dr. Frank Sloth has his personal touch on a couple of battledome weapons, all at your disposal … if you can afford them, that is!

Dr. Sloth’s Personal Bath Buddy—capable of being a 14 icon weapon, you should expect to pay a mere 1,900,000 Neopoints at the Hidden Tower for this item. Hey, at least it’s multiuse!

Dr. Sloth’s Personal Body Armor—a rare shield that lets you not only dress like the great Frank Sloth, but also defend yourself like him! As a 100% blocker, you’re set to go in any battle, if you’re willing to fork up the 5,000,000 Neopoints it costs to own this bad boy.

Sloth Approved Hair Gel—this freezing item is currently hard to come by, and if you’re able to afford whatever it may cost (price is currently unavailable), it’ll definitely be worth it! It looks cool, will make your Neopet look cool, will make your opponent cool (since it freezes them …), and will honor the totally strong Dr. Sloth!

NOW GO CELEBRATE!

Thanks to this guide, you should be all set to celebrate Sloth Day like a good minion. With a cool avatar, decked-out Neopet, foodstuffs, and games to last you all day, there’s no reason you should appear to be anything less than a totally normal, Sloth-following, Space Faerie-abhorring, completely devout fan … right?

 
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