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Are You an Altador Cup Fanatic?


by bha288

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It’s that time again! Neopians everywhere are pouring into the Altador Colosseum by the thousands. Fans are making noise, slinging slushies, and showing team spirit everywhere you turn! Then you have the Neopians (like us) who are getting as far away from the city as possible. After all, Altador Cup fanatics are absolutely terrifying, especially in such large quantities. To make matters worse, many fans are in complete denial about being obsessed with the Cup--you could be addicted and not even know it. So how can you tell if you are one of these crazed fans? Well, in honor of the 11th annual Altador Cup, we’re here to help you recognize if you are truly an Altador Cup fanatic.

The Altador Cup comes with a whole new language, and you are entirely fluent.

When you hear someone say “AC,” your mind goes straight to the Altador Cup. The Avatar Chat might as well not exist. Similarly, you abbreviate Yooyuball to YYB, Make Some Noise to MSN, Slushie Slinger to SS, and Shootout Showdown to SOSD. You are mildly baffled whenever you come across a Neopian who doesn’t know what you mean by YYB. “Have you been living under a rock? No offense.”

You actually love playing every single one of the games.

Yooyuball is your favorite game. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. In fact, the only games you play all season are YYB, MSN, SS, and SOSD. No other game can hold your attention long enough to distract you from earning points for your team. You even play through bye-days!

You have supremely high standards when it comes to the tournament, for yourself and others.

You cannot be satisfied until you reach the All-Star rank. You eat, sleep, and breathe the Altador Cup. Sometimes you even forget to do your dailies because you are much too preoccupied with scoring points for your team. Sacrifices have to be made for the cause, right? This attitude also affects your social life; come June, your friends are not at all surprised when you vanish off the face of Neopia. Additionally, you tend to judge people based on their rank in the Cup. Freeloaders are your worst nightmare. When you are maxed-out for the day, you spend your time convincing them to pull their weight. After all, you could not possibly be content with ending a bracket in a draw. Winning is the only option.

You might be suffering bodily harm from participating in the Cup.

You have been cheering for so long that you are concerned your face will become permanently warped, like that of the infamous Techo Super Fan. Your eyes are even starting to bulge in a remarkably unattractive way. Incidentally, you may or may not be losing your voice. Tip: pick up some Techo Fanatic Throat Drops or Daily Throat Lozenges if this becomes an issue.

Everything reminds you of the Cup.

Seeing Blue Techos gives you the absurd thought that perhaps you should be making some noise. Furthermore, every time you see a slushie, you feel the irrational need to sling it.

You are an expert on all things Altador Cup.

You are certainly not ashamed to say that what you know about this tournament could fill a small library. For example, you can name all the past winners off the top of your head, and in order. During the off-season, you spend your time recapping previous seasons in order to fine-tune your strategy for the upcoming year. You even know the strengths and weaknesses of every player on your team--regardless of whether they are a first year player or a seasoned professional. As such, it is an absolute given that you have pored over the official pre-tournament press page, searching for meaning in every minute detail.

You bring up the Altador Cup in conversation all the time. It’s almost involuntary.

You start talking about how excited you are for the Cup months in advance. After all, Altador Cup season is your favorite time of year! You love conversing about the odds that each team has, and speculating on who will place this year. You can even get into lengthy debates concerning the differences between the new and old version of Yooyuball. These types of discussions go over particularly well on the Altador Cup Chat, but you can’t help but feel lost when that Neoboard is unavailable.

You want everyone to know how much you love the Altador Cup.

Aside from talking about it whenever possible, you changed your avatar and corresponding font to make sure that everyone knows how much you support your team. You even have a custom team shield on your user lookup!

The Cup consumes your entire life.

Your Neopets are clothed in Altador Cup gear year-round. You would be a sorry excuse for an owner if you weren’t dressed to match, right? Even the meals your pets eat are from the Altador Cup concession stand. We recommend the Altador Cup Cake, or maybe some delicious Altador Cup Chili Chips? After all, you cannot live on Slushie Slinger Slushies alone! When you want something more nutritious, you still opt for Altadorian food, such as a Fig or Hummus. But it doesn’t stop there! All of your pets have read every book about the Altador Cup imaginable. It is important that they are properly educated!

You love throwing your Neopoints away on Altador Cup paraphernalia.

You have hundreds of Altador Cup items that don’t even serve a function, all sitting in your gallery. Although you were fairly daunted by the sheer number of relevant items that exist, you ultimately could not resist creating that Altador Cup gallery. It isn’t likely that you will ever complete it, but it is your pride and joy.

Your obsession has forever changed your Neohome.

You demolished your Neohome in order to relocate to Altador, home of your beloved tournament. And that’s not all! Your house is essentially a tribute to your favorite team. As a matter of fact, you have several pictures of your favorite Yooyuball players hanging throughout your Neohome. Your ambition in life is to get them autographed.

Does this article describe you perfectly? Does the Altador Cup bring out the noise-maker in you? If that’s the case, there is a very good chance you are an Altador Cup fanatic. Under these circumstances, forgive us, but it is about time for us to wrap up. If you cannot relate to any of these symptoms, then please feel free to come hide out with us for the remainder this year’s Cup. Just remember, no fanatics allowed!

 
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