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Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous: Where's My Stuff?


by rboudre4

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Fellow Neopians,

With the Altador Cup under way, many of us will tireless practice day any night, delightfully flash our team’s supporting colors, and even participate in the games on the playing field. After months of collecting supportive memorabilia and rare wearables for our pets to fly their flags from across the globe during the Altador Cup, we will all commence under the shining sun to battle it out on the freshly manicured field. From slinging slushies, scoring shootouts, bringing the noise, to the swish of a fiery Yooyuball against the net, the Altador Cup is truly a test of greatness. Months of preparation lead to the culmination of multiple events to name teams from around the world as true athletic champions. While this intense preparation may lead to victory, it also serves as an opportunity for one notorious team in Neopia to take advantage over all of the rest. For many of us readers, we have been greeted by the terrible “random event” regarding a certain team accepting donations of highly valuable items. These so called “donations” can possess any value, rare ranking, or size imaginable. For some of us, items of great value have been usurped by the winner of last year’s Altador Cup…Team Kiko Lake.

Although Team Kiko Lake was able to demonstrate superior skill on the field, other participants in the Altador Cup must wonder, “Was their success due to my items’ sacrifice?” “Why does Team Kiko Lake need my precious Draik wearables?” “Neohome furniture…what good can that do?!?” At Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous, we aimto explore some of these questions together as we seek to rebuild, as a team, what was destroyed by the “crowd favorite” of last year’s Altador Cup. Starting in Y18, we will band together to provide tips and words of encouragement for all affected by these kindred Kiko kingpins as we prepare for the upcoming Altador Cup. Together, we will stand for fairness, accuracy, and an agenda to question the meaning of “donation” in the noble and just, Altador Cup XI.

This article is to provide struggling Neopians with useful tips for avoiding unwanted donations to Team Kiko Lake. While these tips and suggestions are not guaranteed to protect your precious paintbrushes and gourmet food items, they will help you to sleep more soundly at night (or so we hope):

Tip #1: ALWAYS BE SUSPICIOUS. Befriend members of Team Kiko Lake. While this may seem like an obvious choice, here at Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous, we strive to celebrate a theme of togetherness rather than standing apart. Rather than boycotting one of Neopia’s most controversial teams, we suggest that survivors and potential survivors reach out to members of Kiko Lake such as Captain “Poke” Cellers or non-Kiko goalkeeper Erli Quinnock to understand why a team that is overall recognized for their good sportsmanship has been notorious for accepting random donations from various Neopians. It might also be safe to questions some of their ex-members as well…

Tip #2: SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX IS YOUR FRIEND. As of now, no known records have indicated members of Team Kiko Lake infiltrating Safety Deposit Boxes for donations. If you possess a rare or personally valuable items, store it in your Safety Deposit Box! Research from intelligence in Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous claims that the lack of all five fingers makes it difficult to unlock or penetrate the steel exterior of the SDB. As a result, your items should be unharmed during a Kiko Lake donation raid. Because the Safety Deposit Box is able to store items of all shapes, sizes, and seemingly large quantities of items, it is the ideal solution for all of your unwanted donations! Go ahead, try it out! For any questions regarding using the Safety Deposit Box, feel free to contact your local Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous representative for more tricks regarding storage and how to keep all of your stored items smelling as fresh as a daisy.

Tip #3: DONATE YOUR TIME AND EFFORT IN A BAKE SALE. To avoid the spontaneous and random donations to Team Kiko Lake, consider donating sweets such as Chocolate Covered Kiko Popcorn Ball, Maple Walnut Kiko Fudge, or a Candy Floss Cupcake in a local bake sale! While those Kikos may bounce around from all of these sugary treats, they might be distracted enough to bypass your inventory and head straight to the practice fields instead! If you can’t make a bake sale, perhaps you can take a nice glass bottom boat tour and pay your respects to a hefty donation there! Kiko Lake Treats is always looking for a fresh new face to keep shop!

Tip #4: MAKE KIKO LAKE YOUR VACATION SPOT. Nothing says proper donations quite like tourism! While Mystery Island is famous for their Tiki Tours, Faerieland for its enchanting metropolis, Kiko Lake is a perfect getaway for a quiet, yet eventful vacation. The pristine waters of the lake, plethora of shops, and quaint lodging at Korky McKiko’s Cabin Village provides an affordable opportunity for all Neopians and their pets to relax along the sun-drenched shores of Kiko Lake. Members of Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous can count on their monetary donations to the local shops, boarders, and merchants contributing toward Team Kiko Lake’s efforts in the Altador Cup as well! The good folks of Kiko Lake support their hometown heroes and hope that you will voluntarily support them when you consider your next vacation.

Tip #5: JOIN TEAM KIKO LAKE. Leadership for Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous suggests that if you refrain from the aforementioned tips listed in this article, yet still wish to avoid those precious items being spontaneously donated, join their efforts and fight for a Kiko Lake Victory! Team Kiko Lake has a history for having notoriously great sportsmanship; if you have your own reservations about the team, it’s best to gain a firsthand experience and do some investigative work. After all, you might even be on the winning team for this year’s Altador Cup again! Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!

*Note: Members of Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous are not claiming that unprompted donations will cease once you support Team Kiko Lake; proceed with caution.

Regardless of your team affiliation, history of encounters with Kiko Lake Team Members, and items in your inventory, members of Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous promote the integration and incorporation of everyone to raise awareness in this year’s Altador Cup. While maintaining the utmost respect to last year’s Altador Cup winners, the participants of this year’s cup aim to approach the competition in a state of fairness and equality, regardless of wanted or unwanted donations to their favorite (or least favorite teams). In this time of great athletic competition, under the bright blue skies of the Yooyuball field, members of Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous congratulate our previous champions and look forward to welcoming our new, or returning, titleholders!

**Paid for by Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous. Paid for by Kiko Lake Survivors Anonymous does not in any way, shape, or form, condemn members of Team Kiko Lake, nor do their statements reflect the beliefs or statements by contributors of The Neopian Times.

 
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