Things That We're Lucky Enough To Ignore!

But in the Neopets universe, my pets' clothes never get dirty! There is no need for a Neopian Laundromat, for example, to wipe out coffee and ketchup stains. We don't have to shell out exorbitant sums of money at a Neopian Dry Cleaner to chemically clean our more expensive wearables. The heels of my pets' shoes never break and need shoe repair. This makes me smile and acknowledge that us Neopians are truly lucky people!

Inspired by this random thought, I thought I'd ask my fellow players, in what ways is the Neopets universe more fun and convenient than real life? What are some things that we're lucky enough to ignore? I wandered over to the Neoboards and started to chat with everyone. And I got many fun and interesting replies!

The funniest reply I got was that our pets never need to use the bathroom! They don't poop and pee like our real life dogs and cats. We don't have to empty out their cages once a week, like we do for our real life hamsters and gerbils. Also, our virtual pets never need to shower or clean themselves. They never need to use the bathroom, which is so convenient!

People also noted with relief that there's no Neoschool that our virtual pets are required to attend. They posted that their real life dogs had to go to obedience school (for a hefty fee), whereas their virtual pets are satisfied with zero education at all. Having never owned a dog, I thought this observation was intriguing! And yes, we're lucky that we don't have to stick our virtual pets in a virtual school. That sounds quite monotonous and depressing!

Several players pointed out that the Neolodge is an important part of Neopian life, because we can stick our pets in there for 25 days straight and yet continue to play with them every day (such as battling in the Battledome, or reading books for book awards). In real life, a pet hotel means that we're too busy to take care of our pets, and so we abandon them at the hotel for weeks while we get our real life affairs in order. We're so lucky to have a Neolodge here on Neopets!

One player made the astute observation that, while we love to live in the Neopets universe, we don't have to pay rent for houses and apartments! We can create Neohomes, but it's not like we're paying off virtual mortgages or anything like that. I thought this was an interesting observation, and it renewed my desire to have a lavishly decorated Neohome! After all, it's only on Neopets that I'll ever own a mansion, so why not?

And speaking of Neohomes, our pets don't even need them! Apparently our pets exist on our user lookups, but not in actual Neopian houses or countries. What an interesting existence they lead!

One player made everyone chuckle, because he said that it's only on Neopets that a gigantic blue box descends upon you and gives you free money. (Thanks, Trudy's Surprise!) For many users, this is their sole source of income. We're all quite lucky nowadays because we're getting free NP every day, whereas in real life, we have to do real work for real money.

There are no planes, trains, buses and subways in the Neopets universe, but we don't even need them! Not when we can go from Faerieland to Virtupets in one mouse click. We're lucky that we don't have to suffer an agonizing commute from place to place, and I often marvel how convenient it is to bounce around Neopia when in real life, I have to take the subway for 45 minutes every morning to get to work!

One deadpan player on the Battledome Neoboard made me literally laugh out loud. He said that Neopets is the only place where our pets can battle each other in a ring without the owners going to jail. ROFL!

One sweet player noted that our pets are perpetually awake. She snugged her active pet and admitted that if our pets went to sleep, she wouldn't have much reason to log in anymore, since her mornings are Neopets' evenings. We're quite lucky to have virtual pets that are always awake, because we all live in different real life time zones. We can ignore the fact that our pets deserve some sleep, haha!

One player noted that our pets can withstand customizations that no real pet could. For instance, she noted that an Island pet (with an Island temperament and a fondness for warm weather) could be dressed up with a winter-themed background, and not even care. I thought this was interesting! Another player agreed, saying that you could stick an underwater background on a Faerie pet and the pet would not complain, even though there's no air underwater. We're lucky that we can customize our virtual pets however we want, unlike real pets!

One player on the Customisation Neoboard admitted that she has over 200 items in her Neopets closet, while in real life, she wears nothing but jeans and t-shirts all day. She said that in real life, she probably has just 30-40 articles of clothing (after having done some vigorous clothing donations this past winter), whereas on Neopets, she greedily buys every wearable in sight, spoiling her active pet. In real life, no closet could hold 200 items, but on Neopets, our closets can!

One hilarious player claimed that her pet was a genius, because not only is it literate, but it reads books in other languages besides English. She claimed that she's read books to her pet in Korean, Spanish, German, Italian, and many other languages, and the pet always dutifully read them. I had to guffaw and agree, her pet was a genius! What real life pet would be multilingual, much less literate?

Another player noted that TNT has limits when it comes to customizing our pets. For instance, TNT has yet to roll out with a pet leash. We now have multiple pet collars, but no leashes. I guess in the Neopets universe, our pets are smart enough to not run away! For now, we all ignore the fact that there are no pet leashes on Neopets, though our real life pets may require them!

Many people sagely noted that we can feed our virtual pets weird and gross foods that no real pet could stand, such as French Flies. I had to nod and agree. I'm glad that our virtual pets have such broad palates, unlike our pickier real life pets!

One player said that her habit of keeping omelettes in her Safety Deposit Box would probably garner her a visit from people in hazmat suits if it were real life, since her omelettes are several years old. I laughed and agreed that collecting really old food is something we can do on Neopets, but not in real life!

There were a lot of players who admitted that they kept their virtual pets sad, hungry, and even angry, because their faces became more expressive that way. Unlike real pets, our virtual pets can endure the abuse, and unhappy is how they'll stay, according to their owners. (Kudos to the player on my thread who showed off her 4 crying Grey pets! They look exquisite!)

The best answer I got on the Neoboards was one positive and fantastic player who exclaimed that the best thing about Neopets is that the pets can never die! I had to smile and give her a virtual high-five! I'd totally forgotten about this cool and totally endearing aspect of the site. And yes, we're quite lucky that unlike real life pets, our virtual pets can mope and complain (and sometimes starve), yet never die!

Thanks for replying to me on the Neoboards, my fellow players! It was, as usual, extremely interesting to pick your brains. I think we can all agree that Neopets is a magical and special place where our lives are easy and fun. We're lucky to be able to ignore many odd questions, such as: Why don't our pets poop? And how come they never sleep?

Stay tuned for more articles from yours truly, dear Neopians, and have a terrific week!