There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 193,540,341 Issue: 696 | 28th day of Hiding, Y17
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Rhoasy's Raddest Restaurants #2: Hubert's Hot Dogs

by tennesseethomas


What’s up, Neopia? If you don’t remember me from the last time we visited, my name is Rhoasy and I’m a baby Wocky with an appetite the size of Florg’s! I’ve been all over Neopia, to every restaurant you could possibly imagine, and I’ve seen the best and the worst of what Neopia has to offer. Now that I’m older (but still a baby, mind you,) and a little wiser, I’m going to teach you all about the best food Neopia has waiting for you to eat- remember, I eat it so you don’t have to!

Last time we discussed the beauty of The Soup Kitchen, a free spot full of delicious soups and a great atmosphere. Tonight we’re going to need some NPs, but don’t fret- our latest restaurant is plenty cheap- if you’ve got a quick hand!

For this trip, we’re wandering into the Neopian Bazaar to try our hand at Hubert’s Hot Dogs- the best place to snatch a hotdog in the whole of Neopia. This place is fast food at its finest- and when I say fast food, believe me, I mean it!

First off, don’t expect a nice set of table and chairs waiting for you in Hubert’s place. Instead, you’ll find nothing but a setup of the most delicious hot dogs you can imagine, with all kinds of flavors like veggie, wiggly, and brain hot dogs! Before we get into the food, let’s discuss the atmosphere: and at Hubert’s, you can probably guess that no tables and chairs means most customers are almost certainly in a rush to get their food and get out.

While we enjoyed a lot of great conversation in the Soup Kitchen, you’re not likely to find Neopians in such a leisurely pace at Hubert’s. Some of them are on their way to work, some of them are grabbing lunch for school, and some of them are simply so worried they’ll miss their favorite hot dog when it comes up that they absolutely cannot be bothered by conversation from other Neopians.

Because that’s the catch to Hubert’s- every eight minutes or so, Hubert puts out a set of brand new, fresh hotdogs for his customers to snatch. Now, it’s important to note that unlike the Soup Kitchen, you can patiently wait for your favorites- but you might be waiting a while. Hubert cooks what he likes, when he likes, and if you don’t feel like sitting around waiting an hour for him to whip up a Snowy Carrot Hot Dog, you might just have to settle for a Grape Jam Hot Dog and make your way back home.

Each of Hubert’s hot dogs has a set price, but Hubert is willing to listen to a bit of haggling. There’s a trick to that, however: if you’re not willing to give Hubert as many Neopoints as he thinks his hotdog is worth, another Neopian can appear out of nowhere and snatch it from under your nose! You have to be quick around this place, because if two of you are vying for the last jacket potato, you can’t waste any time trying to get Hubert down to 500 NP.

Now that we’ve explained exactly how Hubert’s works, let’s discuss the food! For this article I spent the whole day at Hubert’s hot dogs, trying a ton of his delicious concoctions- whatever I could get my paws on, literally. First of all, it’s important to know that despite the name, Hubert doesn’t just sell hot dogs! He also sells delicious sides like the Extra Cheesy Jacket Potato and the Jacket Potato with Beans! Okay, so he mostly just sells hot dogs and jacket potatoes. But you’d be surprised how many options you can find in just those two delicious foods!

Throughout my day I saw Hubert come out with some of the craziest hot dogs I’ve ever seen. Hubert has vegetarian hot dogs, dessert hot dogs, dinner hot dogs, and, if you’re lucky, you might even be able to snag an ant eaten corn dog (extra protein, yum)! What I’m saying is, if you don’t like hot dogs- no problem! I can promise you that if you wait long enough, Hubert will appear with a hot dog that will have your mouth watering.

However, don’t get so excited that you grab a hot dog without paying attention to what you’ve purchased. Things can get wild in Hubert’s, and if you’re in a hurry and want to get something fast, you might end up with a dud! Hubert is pretty shameless, and I’ve seen him line up to SIX burnt hot dogs for you to buy. I would bet that almost no pet in Neopia is interested in a burnt hot dog, and yet I saw pets buy them! To each his own, I guess.

Are you liking the sound of Hubert’s, but have no idea what hot dogs to look for? Some of my favorite items on the menu include: the Nacho Cheese Stuffed Hot Dog (a great surprise when you’re digging in!), the Extra Slim Hot Dog (good for when you don’t want to get too fluffy!), the Ketchup and Mustard Hot Dog (a classic done right!) and the Butter Sweet Potato (easily the tastiest side dish Hubert has to offer)!

Remember, Hubert’s doesn’t have any tables or chairs, and if you land in there around lunch or dinner, the place might be stuffed full of grumpy, hungry Neopians. Personally, I would suggest bringing a friend along for the trip- you can stay close together while you wait for Hubert’s latest treats, and when you’ve paid for some, you can enjoy them together on your walk back home!

If you’re looking for a relaxed atmosphere where you can get to know a stranger or two, or if you’re looking for a nice place to sit down, look at a menu and enjoy the company of your friends and family, Hubert’s isn’t the place for you. But if you’d love a high-paced, fast food restaurant full of delicious treats, you should give Hubert’s a try! It certainly sounds intimidating, but don’t be scared. Hubert is a nice guy (if you don’t under haggle,) and you can almost never go wrong. The food is well worth the price. Just remember- don’t get those burnt hot dogs unless you really, really love burnt things. I’d give this place two out of five paws- hate to be such a stickler, but I really do like to sit down and enjoy my treats!

Next time I see you we’ll be making a trip to the moon- you heard me right!- and we’re trying out Cafe Kreludor, a restaurant that’s out of the world! Was that too cheesy? Maybe like those nacho hot dogs, huh? Alright, alright. See you next time!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


The Pirate King Files: A Defender's Mission
A hand caught the Ogrin's arm and helped her stand. The Ogrin saw a Neopet she did not recognize standing beside her. The Neopet was a female pink Aisha, wearing a bright yellow and pink costume emblazoned with the symbol of a white lotus. The Aisha wore a yellow mask and had a pink capelet draped over her shoulders.

by ezel68


Mealtimes don't always go exactly to plan...

by _clement_


The Jubjub Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Or Was That A Coconut?

by mustikeuh121


The Warrior Princess: The Coronation: Part One
Princess Clarity Ryan was sitting in the private study of the castle. Her tutor was droning on and on about the history of Altador and how it affects them. Clarity was growing weary. She hadn’t been sleeping well for the past week due to nightmares of the war...

by purplbrooke

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.