The Wallet: A Play in One Act
Nigel DOBREV: Middle aged Bruce. First time lodger at the Grand Neopian Lodge
TINA: Young Lupe. Frequent guest at the Grand Neopian Lodge
MRS. EDDY: Older Elephante. Frequent guest at the Grand Neopian Lodge
Eric PRICE: Young Wocky. Also a first time lodger at the Grand Neopian Lodge
Setting: A quiet afternoon at the Grand Neopian Lodge. There is a circular table surrounded by four chairs three feet from the check-in counter. DOBREV, TINA, MRS. EDDY, and PRICE fill the four chairs around the table.
CLERK: Dobrev. Room 302. Dobrev.
DOBREV: What's the damage?
(DOBREV rises from his seat)
I'm not sure the Royal Opera was worth the price, you see.
CLERK: I am truly sorry to hear that, sir. I do hope your access to the tennis court proved well worth the stay.
DOBREV: Not quite. I was only here to oversee some business at the Chocolate Shop, you see. I would have stayed with the proprietor but he was very insistent on chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you see. I enjoy a good cup of cocoa now and again but at my age... no, no. What's the damage?
CLERK: 785 Neopoints, sir. I do hope the access to the restaurant was well worth the price.
DOBREV: Yes, well, chocolate there was optional. I did have a fine salad there last night, you see. I met the chef personally, too. What a fine fellow he is! He used to work at Kelp, you see. Imagine! Alright, 785 Neopoints. Well, I can't seem to find my wallet, you see. I was sure I tucked some coins into my coat pocket this morning. Let me check that chair there.
(DOBREV fumbles over the chair and inspects it closely for some time. PRICE watches the Bruce curiously)
Clerk, sir, could you have someone check my room? I was sure I had the wallet in my pocket along with the coins, you see. The wallet is not in the seat. How strange.
CLERK: Yes, Mr. Dobrev.
PRICE: What have you lost?
DOBREV: My wallet, you see. I had it with me last night at the restaurant and after dinner. I don't remember taking it out of my coat pocket. I am sure it is in the room.
TINA: I could not help overhearing, Mr. Dobrev, but I am sure it is in your room. I stay here all the time and leave things just as often. Have a seat, Mr. Dobrev. The attendant will fetch it, I know it.
DOBREV: Thank you, miss. It is not often I lose my wallet, you see. It did happen once long ago. I had a rather large sum on me.
CLERK: Dobrev, room 302.
DOBREV: Yes? Has the boy found my wallet?
CLERK: No, sir, the wallet was not in your room at the Royal Opera.
DOBREV: But that cannot be. I tell you I had it with me in the evening at dinner. It never left my pocket.
PRICE: Did he check under the bed? Under the dressers?
CLERK: Everywhere, sir. Not to worry, Mr. Dobrev. We can open a line of credit for you.
DOBREV: A line of credit? It is the principal of the thing, you see. How am I supposed to get home?
CLERK: We will assist in all of that.
TINA: Yes, the Lodge is very good about helping its patrons.
DOBREV: But my wallet is still missing, miss...?
TINA: Newberry. Tina, please.
DOBREV: Miss Tina, my wallet is still missing. And you, sir, you see the issue.
PRICE: I do. But if the wallet is not in your room, or in that chair, or in your pocket, what can be done?
MRS. EDDY: How treacherous.
(DOBREV, TINA, and PRICE turn to the Elephante)
DOBREV: Treacherous? I've lost my wallet by pure misfortune. I am sure it is in this establishment and somewhere quite safe. It is just a misfortune I must leave without it until it is found, you see.
MRS. EDDY: You should think again, sir.
DOBREV: What do you mean?
MRS. EDDY: I only mean one of these two are lying.
PRICE: What in Fyora's name are you saying, madam?
MRS. EDDY: I am saying you, or she, knows where the wallet is.
TINA: How can you say such a thing? I am only trying to help this man get back home. The Lodge will take care of everything. I have seen you around here just as often as I am here. You know this is the truth.
MRS. EDDY: I don't doubt the Lodge's service. But I doubt your honesty.
DOBREV: Are you accusing these two of stealing my wallet? When would they have had the opportunity? I don't understand, you see. I've only had it in my pocket the whole time.
MRS. EDDY: Is your wallet brown and monogramed 'N.D.' with a golden buckle for a clasp?
DOBREV: How do you know that?
PRICE: There can only be one way to know that bit of information. Why are you accusing us, madam?
MRS. EDDY: I kept my eyes on my book as one of these two fumbled on your chair for the wallet. When I looked up, the thief had moved away. I did not notice you had not taken your wallet back until you said it was missing. The lies began shortly after. Even at the Lodge, one cannot escape vile behavior.
TINA: I will not stand here and have my name associated with a crime. How dare you?
MRS. EDDY: You put this man in a situation to suit your own needs and you question me? Or you!
(MRS. EDDY points to PRICE)
DOBREV: Is it true?
PRICE: I will empty out my own pockets now and prove it. I have nothing to hide.
(PRICE empties out his coat and trouser pockets)
DOBREV: No wallet there. Miss Tina, will you do the same?
TINA: No, I refuse to bend to such lengths to prove my innocent. I am no thief.
MRS. EDDY: The girl refuses on her shallow pride. I am sure the police would hear it well.
TINA: You will threaten me no longer. Mr. Dobrev, I do not have your wallet and you cannot compel me to empty my pockets.
PRICE: That is good and well, girl, but this woman is mad. Empty your pockets!
(TINA stares at PRICE for a moment and empties her pockets on the table before her)
MRS. EDDY: I can't believe it. I know what I saw.
PRICE: The proof is here. I think it's time the clerk gets involved in this.
DOBREV: No, one moment. Empty your pockets, madam.
MRS. EDDY: What? I tried to help. Are you now accusing me?
TINA: He's right. You saw the monogram and you know about the buckle. You called us thieves to cover yourself.
MRS. EDDY: Nonsense. I saw what I saw.
PRICE: You saw nothing. You said that your eyes were on your book.
MRS. EDDY: I will not be called a thief by thieves.
(MRS. EDDY rises with great labor and empties the contents of her dress and coat pockets)
DOBREV: This has all been very strange. I don't doubt your word that someone has taken the wallet but not you, or Miss Tina, or this gentleman, you see.
MRS. EDDY: I don't know how they've done it, but they have it.
PRICE: Why –
CLERK: Dobrev, room 302. Dobrev.
CLERK: One of the maids found your wallet while cleaning the chair. Here it is.
(DOBREV grasps the wallet, opens it, and chuckles. PRICE, TINA, and MRS. EDDY stare on)
DOBREV: Our mind sees what the eye cannot, you see.