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5 Steps for Success in Valentine Making

by hottamale0774


My house - Welcome to the informational article about how to make your perfect valentine. We will cover this lesson in 565 easy steps! *Sees everyone start to walk away.* Wait, come back! How does five steps sound?

Step 1: Picking a person to send the valentine to

This can be either the easiest part or the hardest part of making a valentine. If you already have some one in mind, great, and skip this step. If you don’t, listen closely to the List of Ingredients for a Person to Send a Valentine to, or L.I.P.S.

1. They must be cute. Notice this is number one; it is DEFINITELY the most important.

2. They must have a good sense in fashion; why like someone who doesn’t know plaid is out? Being really cute does makes up for little fashion sense, though.

3. They must at least have an idea you exist. This one is not very important, though, especially if they’re really cute.

4. They must not be afraid to take risks. I’m not talking HUGE risks, but ones like they wouldn’t be afraid to speak out in class. This is important because you need to know they won’t throw away your beautiful Valentine you spent lots of time on, hopefully. And you guessed it, if they’re cute this doesn’t matter either.

5. They must have a good personality. Notice this is last; it does not really matter that much. They need to have a tiny bit, though, unless....

Huge crowd of people: They’re cute!

I think you got it! We are now ready to move onto the next step which is...

Step 2: Picking the shape and color of your valentine

We come to one of the artistic parts of valentine-making: picking a shape and color. First, you must make the basic shape. This usually is in a heart, but some people like to be creative and make it a circle, square, triangle, rectangle, diamond, or anything else under the sun. I once got a valentine shaped like a pile of dung. It turned the valentine was from my brother. Once you have picked your shape you must draw it or trace it onto a piece of paper, depending on how artistic you are. The piece of paper you choose to draw on should be a Valentine’s Day color, like red, pink, or white. This adds a nice touch to the overall valentine.

Well, wasn’t that a wealth of information? We now go on to the next step which is....

Step 3: Deciding what to say on the valentine

This part is even more important than designing. The three major aspects of what you say on your valentine are:

1. It is a little heartfelt.

2. It is kind of clichéd.

3. It goes along with the shape of your valentine.

I will now explain a little more about each aspect. *Moach noises are heard.* The first person who claps gets a cookie. *Everybody starts clapping.* That’s better.

It is a little heartfelt

You need to show the person you care about them a little bit; even if it’s only a tiny bit they need to know it. It does not have to be that heartfelt. It would not have to be I love you so much I would dies for you! A good example would be, You’re sweet, or just something simple like that.

It is kind of clichéd

Do not go all out and crazy with this saying. Just a sweet, clichéd thing will work beautifully. If you do something like write a poem for the person they will think you like them TOO much. Just I love you will work perfectly.

It goes along with the shape of your valentine

The saying should kind of go along with the shape of your valentine, for example, on my brother’s pile of dung valentine he wrote, I hope your Valentine’s Day stinks! It was very mean but you get the point, right? Another example with a diamond from a girl would be Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but you’re mine!

Pulling this all together

I just gave you three examples and told you all three are the ones that are right. You’re thinking, “Rachel is crazy,” probably, which is true but not right at this moment. What you need to do is use all three of these to produce a saying. For a diamond-shape it might be, You’re sweeter than a diamond. Yes it makes no sense, but if you do the next step well no one will even notice. The next step is....

Step 4: Decorating your valentine

Basically just draw swirly lines wherever it looks fitting, but I will explain in more detail for those artistic people.

The first thing you should do is cut your shape off the paper you drew it on, unless you did that already. Warning: Scissors are pointy and you should not poke yourself with them. It hurts.

Once the shape is cut out you can get to work coloring it. I really can give no directions on this one; just pump your creative juices and see what you draw. If what you draw looks like dung, throw the valentine out and start over again. Helpful, aren’t I?

Yay you have finished your valentine and decided who to send it to. There is only one step left now which is (don’t you love how I do this?)....

Step 5: Delivering the valentine

There are a few options for this one. I have listed them below along with a pro and con of using each of them.

1. Stick it in the person’s mailbox/ locker with your name on it. Pro: The person can thank you for your beautiful valentine. Con: The person has something to use against you now.

2. Stick it in the person’s mailbox/ locker with your name not on it. Pro: There is no chance of being embarrassed. Con: The person doesn’t know it’s you who sent it.

3. Chase the person down and give it to them in person. Pro: They’ll DEFINITELY know who gave it to them. Con: They can tell you they hate it right away.

There you have it, five steps to success on making a valentine. Use this guide well, and you will profit from it. This is Rachel saying goodbye!


Ha, ha; I fooled you. I have one extra special step that can be answered in 6 easy words:

Buy a valentine at the store.

Now I am really done with that last piece of advice. This is Rachel saying goodbye again!

Note: Not everything in this article should be taken seriously. It's just for fun - especially Step 1 ;-)

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