Reporting live from Neopia Circulation: 193,049,732 Issue: 675 | 9th day of Sleeping, Y17
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Darigan Toys Non-Darigans Should Be Wary Of


by pikachu315111

--------

Darigan Neopets are not your normal Neopets. The transformation they undertook did not only morph their body but it also altered their thoughts and emotions to a darker perspective. They like things that a non-Darigan would stay away or run away from, they eat things which a non-Darigan would be unable to even chew, and while not outright vicious a Darigan is more likely to be grumpy and sullen. Because of this a lot of Darigan Citadel businesses only cater to a Darigan demographic, except for one. Somehow, Darigan Citadel had made its way to the interneopian toy market with Darigan Toys. Yes, TOYS. Darigan Citadel's main and only export is toys. But get those cuddly plushies and bright colors out of your mind, because Darigan Toys are still made with a Darigan demographic in mind. Their toys are dark, menacing, and a bit dangerous, and that's the topic of this article! Here are some Darigan Toys a non-Darigan should be weary of playing with else they may sustain some injuries:

Acid Attack Block Stack Game (Just try to keep a steady hand while being burned by acid!)

Let's start with a toy which warns you why anyone shouldn't play with it! A Darigan Neopet's skin is thicker and more resilient than a non-Darigan's, but even then I still question if even a Darigan Neopet can enjoy this toy. IT DRIPS ACID! Anytime you pull out a block a small amount of acid leaks out which is impossible to not get on your hands. The acid is corrosive enough to burn off hair and fur as well as irritate the skin if not leaving burn marks! It's a mystery how the acid doesn't eat away the toy. I have no idea who thought combining acid with a toy you need to make contact with was a good idea; probably the same who thinks it's a good idea to actually play with it.

Darigan Creation Toys:

Creature Factory Toy (Create your own creatures with this fun Creature Factory.)

Darigan Bouquet-Making Craft Set (Take these flowers to a funeral, or better yet, give them one!)

Darigan Citadel Crystal Growing Kit (Grow a miniature landscape for your own dark fortress!)

Plenty of Darigan Toys already come fully built so you at least know what to expect, arguably. But then there are the Darigan Toys which are about creating something which are normally fun toys, except when they're from Darigan Toys. Creature Factory Toy sounds like it'll be fun creating your own creatures, until you realize the creatures are ANIMATE due to the toy using the same creation process used to make the Darigan Elementals. Darigan Bouquet-Making Craft Set requires Darigan flowers as non-Darigan flowers won't survive the process (and we'll get to why you should NEVER deal with Darigan plants). Finally the Darigan Citadel Crystal Growing Kit would be a neat way to study how crystals form but the crystals from Darigan Citadel are not only blade sharp but also have the tendency to grow out of its container and quickly cover everything they can. So be aware if you're going to play with a Darigan creation toy be prepared to fight against your own creation.

Cymbal Bashing Mynci Toy (There is something awfully unsettling about this toy...)

This toy may not hurt you physically, but it will wear your health down. Not only does it look very unsettling, but it's also made to go off and smash its cymbals together when you least expect it. No one knows how it does it, but when you're relaxing someplace or are asleep it likes to suddenly activate and make loud clanging noises which will no doubt terrify you. And no, there's no way of turning it off, there's an "off" switch but that's just to make it so that it's not clanging its cymbals all the time (and even then it's questionable if it works). By the end of the first week of having it you'll be exhausted and a nervous wreck, constantly keeping in mind that the Cymbal Bashing Mynci Toy exists as you know if you ever forget about it it'll go off.

Darigan Liquid Toys:

Darigan Bubble Blower (Your bubbles will look vicious when you use this bubble blower.)

Darigan Dough (Squishy purple putty that you can shape into any shape you like!)

Darigan Sprinkler (Converts your fresh clean water into a sickly purple goo.)

Darigan Water Balloon (Darigan water sure looks funny... and thorny!)

Water is an essential element to life as we know it, but that doesn't mean all water is the same. Liquids from the Darigan Citadel is thick, colored a vibrant purple, has a sour scent, and has a sour taste if you're daring enough to drink it. But that's nothing to Darigans who still use the water as anyone else does, including for entertainment. Darigan Bubble Blower is the least worst of the toys as you're just blowing a bubble, though like with the Darigan creation toys above don't be surprised if the bubble floats toward you and tries attacking. Darigan Dough shockingly won't make whatever you mold out of it come to life, but it will start to turn your hands Darigan purple which takes much scrubbing to remove and starts to badly itch if not removed. Darigan Sprinkler is even worse as it's now your entire body which has Darigan purple splotches all over. We end on the worst one as, while the previous ones it was a choice of you playing with it, Darigan Water Balloon is meant to be used on someone else and in addition to covering them in purple goo it also has THORNS in it to add injury to insult. Obviously a Darigan won't really be affected by any of this, but non-Darigans may find that Darigan water doesn't only feel odd when playing with it but also a while after you have stopped playing with it.

Darigan Fishing Playtime Kit (Warning: This kit contains unnecessarily sharp items.)

While I could have included this toy with the other spiky toys later on this list, it's not you who are in danger of getting poked, supposedly. The idea of fishing is to attract fish with a lure or worm so they bite the book for you to reel them in. However if you're using this toy you'll not only be repelling fish for yourself but also for everyone near you. It's also not that good to reel in as the fishing line is covered in spikes so it easily gets tangled up and good luck trying to untangle it without needing a box of bandages afterwards. Not to mention that you'll also need special worms that live on the Darigan Citadel as only they can survive being place on the fishing rod. But being these are Darigan worms, even though they're just worms they'll still be the most dominant creature in the water and possibly eat the fish instead of the other way around. I suppose it's good if you want to fish alone, of course that's because no one would want to fish next to you and no fish would dare approach your line.

Darigan Ecology Toys:

Darigan Garden Set (The best way to learn how to grow weeds...)

Sea Darigans (Just add a little water and watch them grow!)

If you think that the Darigan creation toys were bad by creating things which act as if they're alive, think about how bad Darigan toys with actual living elements to them are? Darigans, no matter how moody they can get sometimes, can be reasoned with and calmed down. However other Darigan creatures tend to act on instinct, said instinct being vicious. Darigan Garden Set shows that even plants from the Darigan Citadel aren't peaceful as they have just as many spikes and thorns as anything else Darigan. If they're not carnivores, they are at least poisonous or can defend themselves in other unpleasant ways. DO NOT PLANT THEM OUTSIDE! They all are invasive species who will take over an entire neighborhood if not stopped. Sea Darigans are okay as long as you DON'T PUT ANY PART OF YOUR BODY IN THE WATER. It's not pretty. The entitled Sea Darigans cannot leave the water but anything that's in the water is fair game. DO NOT FLUSH THEM DOWN THE TOILET! Neopian sewer systems already have a few unknown creatures living down there, we don't need any more that are known to be vicious. Flora or fauna, any living non-Neopet thing from the Darigan Citadel should either be handled with extreme care or, preferably, not at all.

Spiky Toys:

Darigan Jump Rope (Be careful when jumping this rope, it bites back!)

Darigan Spinning Spikes Top (Round and round and round she goes, who she sticks nobody knows!)

Darigan Stacking Rings (Someone forgot to instruct the toymaker that teething toys are NOT supposed to HAVE teeth!)

Spiky Kiko Ball (This ball has sharp spikes and probably isn't safe for young Neopets.)

Many Darigan Toys have spikes and other pointy bits to them which you can easily scratch and poke yourself with, but if you're careful you can ignore getting hurt. Except with these toys. These toys were made so that at one point you are suppose to get poked with or there's no way of not getting poked. Though to be fair, the goal of the Darigan Jump Rope is to keep jumping so you don't get poked, but at one point you will either mess up or have to stop. However the "fun" with the Darigan Spinning Spikes Top is to sit around it, let it spin, and watch and wait to see who the top eventually spins into! As for the Darigan Stacking Rings and Spiky Kiko Ball, I have no idea what they were thinking being these toys are aimed for young Neopets, one being specifically for INFANTS. As I said previously, spikes don't hurt Darigans that much because they have thick skin, but for everyone else I would suggest playing with a version of these toys that don't require a box of bandages.

Darigan Tea Set (Even the best of teas taste rancid when you use this tea set.)

Not surprisingly, Darigan Toys are popular with boys though not so much with non-Darigan girls. Trying to expand their demographic to girls, Darigan Toys have released typical girl toys but with their usual Darigan twist... which is why girls don't like Darigan Toys in the first place. However the Darigan Tea Set adds onto that as it's not only unappealing to girls but also dangerous. And I'm not just talking about the spikes covering the serving tray, teapot, and tea cups, though they don't help. What I'm talking about is that the Darigan Tea Set has a filter in the teapot which adds impurities to whatever is poured out of it. The only thing which is still drinkable after being put through the filter is anything made with Darigan water, but that doesn't mean it'll taste any less foul. Sadly I don't think Darigan Toys will ever get that non-Darigan girl demographic it'll like to get, but maybe that's for the better.

Darigan Uniocto Flipball (You will enjoy trying to get the ball in the cup in this game of flipball.)

Those who played Yooyuball in the Altador Cup would know how frustrating the Darigan Yooyu is to score with. Well the Darigan Yooyu isn't the only ball-shaped Darigan object that liked to cause you misery. You'll eventually get the Darigan Uniocto Flipball into the cup, but not after it first flings up in all different direction and possibly hit you in your face once or twice. No matter how you flip it, it will not go into the cup first try. And of course, there are some spiky bits to the ball so when it hits your face it'll probably leave a hole or two. Though I suppose it could be good practice for dealing with the frustration that the Darigan Yooyu will cause you.

Toy Darigan Beauty Set (Now your Darigan Neopet can feel like a princess with this beauty kit.)

Another attempt by Darigan Toys to appeal to non-Darigan girls, though it may make a Darigan girl feel like a princess it'll make a non-Darigan girl feel like a monster. The Toy Darigan Beauty Set contains many of the essential grooming items beauty sets have like makeup, a mirror, bows, hair curler, etc.. But being a Darigan Toy there must be a twist and for the Toy Darigan Beauty Set is that it contains an extra pair of sharp teeth. These extra pair of sharp teeth is why this toy is here as many accidents have happened from unsuspecting girls who stuck their hand into the box without looking and had these teeth somehow chomp down on their hand. And no, the teeth aren't animate; it's just that the teeth are very springy and made to chomp on whatever passes it. With that said, many girls who for some reason decided to put the teeth in their mouth often bite their tongues. To Darigan girls this is nothing painful as they already have sharp teeth so their tongues are just as strong as their skin, but for a non-Darigan girl it's quite painful so it might be best to just get them a Usuki Beauty Set instead.

And those are all the Darigan Toys you should be aware of if you're going to give it to a non-Darigan Neopet. Well, not all of them, honestly ALL Darigan Toys should be approached with caution if not just for many having random spikes sticking out. It's odd to think that out of all of the Darigan businesses to reach the interneopian market are toys which really only Darigans can fully enjoy. But thinking about it, it does make sense. Darigan food has a spoiled sour taste, Darigan clothing is made from spiny fibers or other uncomfortable materials, and even Darigan weapons are heavy to wield and can hurt the user as much as the enemy. Simply put, most Darigan items are made for Darigans, so toys being Darigan's only items which are available for anyone to buy makes a whole lot of sense. Just be aware of what you're buying, and maybe on your way home buy a few boxes of bandages.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Can You Relate?
Exchange gift rules: bring a wrapped gift to school worth no less than 2,000 nps. No food or drink, please!

by toffeedatepudding

---------

Iyuja: In Which the Unknown is Known Again
"Mama? Does the cotton candy forest really exist?" the baby Aisha asked, rocking back and forth expectantly.

by flufflepuff

---------

I'll Take Your Word For It
Are you sure that's not what you meant?

by globetrekker

---------

Perils & Gold: The Wanderer - part 1
Following the events of "The Uneasy Voyage". The gang arrives at Mystery Island...

by lockord



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.