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How to Raise Your Krawk


by mecha_fang

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Arr, I'm Davey Bones, but ye can just call me Bones. I'm a privateer on Krawk Island – and a privateer is COMPLETELY different from bein' a pirate, I might add – and I'm a proud Krawk. So, ye sprouts be wanting to own a Krawk, aye? Well, as a Krawk myself I could offer a few pointers. So, how to train your Krawk... Hurm.

First of all, ya should feed 'em lots o' meat. If ya can't tell by our pointy teeth, we're mainly what those scholars over in Brightvale would call an "obligate carnivore". Sure, we eat some fungus and such fer light, healthy snacks, but Krawks like me need a protein-rich diet, unlike those silly Kacheeks who eat whatever they find growin' around. And, I believe this goes without sayin': DO. NOT. FEED. TOO. MANY. SWEETS. TO. YER. KRAWK. Arr, as much as I'd like to eat a few Chocolate Chias right now (I have a particular fondness for the minty ones, even if they're the most expensive ones, 'cos of that blasted Gourmet Club!), overfeedin' any pet with sugary snacks is a bad idea. This last food bit is also easy to avoid: Watch out fer Gross Food. NOBODY likes that stuff, except fer Alien Aishas. I'm a strong Krawk o' the sea that laughs at the very idea o' getting' sea sickness, but just the SMELL of a maggot and cheese burger makes me feel as queasy as that little Warf. What was his name, again..? Aye, now I remember! The little fella's named Captain Arf!

Now, we're getting' to a fun part: training, training and LOTS of training. If ye want yer Krawk to grow up big and strong like yers truly, then sign 'em up at Captain Threelegs' Training School. He can only train yer Krawks 'til level forty, and you'll (unfortunately) have to go to that blasted Ninja Training School. Pah, Ninjas. They think they're so amazing with their fancy jumpin' and throwin' stuff around! Can't do with 'em, can't do without 'em... Arr, sorry fer that little ramble. Let's go back to the REAL Training School. All ye need to pay with is dubloons. Admittedly, they can get a little... Pricey as ye level up, but it's still cheaper than huntin' down all those blasted codestones.

Now we get to some other bits. Krawks, like myself, LOVE swamps. Sure, we Krawks can survive anywhere with water, but ye'll find that most o' the Krawks that don't live on Krawk Island live in little swamp villages like Bogshot over near Meridell. We can also dwell in Tyrannia, which is where Krawks first appeared before that blasted Monoceraptor drove us all the way out to sea thousands o' years ago – in fact, I'm part Tyrannian on my father's side, which explains how I look. Mystery Island is a decent place to live, other than bein' near those scurvy ninjas. Them and their darned katanas and shurike- er, sorry. I got a little sidetracked again. There's also a small population in the Lost Desert, although they usually don't stray too far from the river. One place ye won't find many of us is Terror Mountain – the place is far too cold fer us scale-covered Krawks. The only way we'd survive there is when we're all bundled up fer the cold!

Hurm, now what should I talk about – Arr, I should talk about readin'. Even though I'm sadly not "book-smart", as those pompous Brightvalians say, ye got to teach yer Krawk some things. I just want to see the next generation of Krawks to be a lot smarter than I am, so get to it! Make sure they read a LOT! Get 'em to read as much as my friend Ashlynne, and don't come back unless ye just bought a few dozen books!

All right, I'm assuming ye hopefully have a few books. O' course, books ain't the only thing a healthy young Krawk needs – they need to be happy, as well. So play with 'em! Get them some toys, but only if they deserve it. If they whine about not getting' a certain toy, ye shouldn't buy it for 'em – nobody likes a spoiled brat.

Another thing yer Krawk needs is to wander the lands o' Neopia. Believe me, there's nothin' better than bein' able to travel to almost any land of Neopia on my precious White Narwhool. She's the best ship I ever had, and – Blast it, I got sidetracked AGAIN, didn't I?! All right, from the top – Krawks have a rather strong love of wonderin' around the world, which is why many o' us take to the seas. In fact, most Krawks have lived on the seas at some point in their lives – I'm grateful that I've been able to live on the sea fer so many years. One of my favorite things to do is to visit the ruins of Old Maraqua and go to the Olde Fishin' Vortex. Normally I catch some boots, and – I just can't stop getting' sidetracked, can I?

Another thing ye should do is try and look for good role models fer yer Krawk. If they want to be a pirate, then point them towards Garin instead of Scarblade. Arr, Scarblade and I used to be friends before he went off the deep end, but that's a story fer another day. O' course, a Krawk can be whatever he or she wants to be – Hunter's trained some Krawks to be Meridell Knights, and Miraja has – as much as it pains me to say it – trained a few of 'em to be ninjas. Sirocco... I'd say he's not a good role model, but he's a nice feller despite bein' a thief. Then again, he left the Thieves Guild right about the time that little lass Hannah went on a quest in Terror Mountain to find that Heart o' the Mountain gem. That bein' said, he's kinda sworn to only steal from the bad guys, which explains why those accursed Sway members seem to constantly be after him. I'm sorry fer ramblin' again, but I felt that actually did have to be said.

So, in conclusion, ye should follow all of these instructions if ya want to raise a happy, healthy Krawk, aye? So, I have to say goodbye fer now – thar's some trouble brewin' in Warf Wharf, and I'm bettin' it's some ruffians from Scurvy Island. Krawk Island needs its best privateer! So, so long, and hopefully I'll see ye and yer Krawk in the Golden Dubloon someday!

 
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