How I Moved to Krawk Island

     At least until today.

     6:30 A.M (roughly)

     A roar of pure fury woke the household up. A chorus of groans and whining eventually managed to roll out of my holly patterned bed and onto the cold floor. Time to make breakfast. Fyora knows if I didn't, I'd have to deal with whining pets for the rest of the day.

     I dug through my hamper, trying to find something resembling a clean outfit. I ended up settling for whatever I had worn the day before, with a promise to make someone do the laundry today. I made my way down to the kitchen, cursing the cold stone floors on my bare feet.

     "Who was it this time?" I asked the room in general as I root in one of the three fridges for food options.

     "Looks like a Chia," my Kougra, Tsarmia, said.

     He sat at one of the many mismatched tables, a warm cup of something in his paws, squinting out one of the large windows and into the valley below.

     Some fool got a little greedy with the Snowager again. It happened at least once a week, often more. We like to make bets on how long it takes for either the Snowager defense force to mobilize or for the thief to drop all the items. Usually my goal on these days is to get the pets fed as quickly as possible and out of the house. Not that anything ever happened to us, but having a giant snake made of ice running around the valley, crashing into houses and trees always made me nervous.

     "Who?" I asked, pulling a large crate of airax eggs out of the fridge.

     "Can't tell from this far off," Tsar said. "Luce swears it's one of the Igloo couple, but I think he's full of it."

     "Whose turn is it to help make breakfast?" I asked, glancing at the chore calendar. It's mostly for effect, I have to memorize the thing before I put it up. It gets vandalized fairly often by pets seeking to shirk their work load.

     "Spark and... Dark?" Tsar tilted his head to the side.

     "Close," I said, "Spark and Tsar. Put on an apron."

     He groaned, but got up and headed towards the closet.

     Breakfast is omelets, unless it's a special occasion. It's cheap and easy and they can be mass produced quickly. After years of chaos and experimentation, I finally managed to get a quick and semi reliable production line set up. One pet will cut up various garnishes and sauces, one will make the omelets and I usually am stuck making the raw batter for the things and breaking up fights.

     "Where's Spark?"

     "Here." My blue Ogrin lazily trotted in, her kepru under one arm. She was wearing her favorite robe- a silky flowery number I bought her on a whim five months ago. "Sorry. I slept in."

     Another roar shook the house. Another chorus of groans and shrieks from the pets.

     "How?" Tsar said.

     7:30 – 8:30, breakfast.

     Feeding twenty pets is a challenge on the best of days. On the days the Snowager wakes us, it's especially difficult. Everyone is jittery and trying to collect their petpets as quickly as possible to get out of the house.

     "Maddie, Qirika, for the last time, no you cannot have a jellybean omelette," I said, rubbing my temples.

     "But you let us have them last week!" Qirika the Halloween Meerca whined. She had her plumpy in a stranglehold. For as angry as it looks, Snuggles puts up with a lot.

      "That's because last week was your birthday," I said. "Look, you can have any of the types listed on the list."

     "But they're all gross!" Maddie whined. Her Schnelly echoed the statement with a pitiful mew.

     Another roar shook the house. Was it getting closer?

      "Like, just pick one and move already!" Prettyacaragrl snapped. Ace isn't exactly the best to be around before she's eaten. She had her eizzil in a cute little purse under her arms and sparks shooting out of her eyes.

     Ah, the joys of owning a magical neopet.

     "Fresh Fruit Surprises for the both of you," Sparks said, shoving two plates at the twins. "Now scoot."

     "Can snuggles have some bacon?"

     "Snuggles can have her special diet food," Tsar said, "because the vet said that Snuggles needs to lose about twenty pounds."

     The Meercas muttered something in unison and sulked off towards a table.

     "Chokato omelette, please," Ace said, flipping her short red hair over her shoulder.

     "Extra sauce?" Tsar asked, dipping his ladle into the steaming pot.

     "Nah." Ace shook her head. "I'm, like, trying to cut back."

     "Suit yourself." He shrugged.

     "Ace, has Gel come out of her room?" I called as the Christmas Acara walked away.

     "I didn't see her," Ace said, "Hey, where are we going?"

     "I don't know yet," I said. "Has anyone seen Aqua?"

     A myriad of shaking heads met my eyes.

     "Crud," I muttered. "Beryl? You finished eating?"

     "Yeah." The red Skeith grunted, pushing away from the table. "Want me to go get them?" At her feet, her Werhond snorted and clattered to its hooves.

     The house shook again. Okay, that one was definitely closer than before.

     "Just tell them we need to eat and get going," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "And if you see Darre, tell him to get the house locked down."

     "Can do." Beryl wipes the remains of her breakfast off of her face and heads upstairs.

     "You actually let him go through with that?" Darevette, a Tyrannian Peophin and Darre's sister, asked. There was a lot of incredulity in her voice.

     "I told him that as long as he didn't mess with Damian's herb garden, then it was fine," I said.

     "You shouldn't have humored him," Darevette said. "I mean really, it's a wonder that he didn't bring the house down."

     The house shook. I swallowed and tried not to react.

     "What kind of omelette, sweetie?"

     "Faerie," Darevette said.

     "Want me to cut it into a butterfly shape?" I said.

     "I'm not three anymore, Lassie," she said, rolling her eyes.

     "I know, I know," I said. "But you'll always be my little princess."

     She sighed and gave me a peck on the cheek.

     "Thanks Mom," she said.

     "Go eat your omelette," I said.

     There's a small explosion upstairs, followed by a lot of yelling. I groaned and tried not to cry.

     "They're fighting again," a small voice said behind me.

     I turned to see Damian, my red Bori, shuffling his feet and looking worried. Damian's my youngest pet and he's a bit sensitive to his siblings frequent fights. I smiled and handed his plate to Spark.

     "So what else is new?" I said. "Gel and Aqua are smart, but they're crud at communicating. This is just how they talk to each other. What kind of omelette?"

     "Juppie?" he asked hopefully, his long ears pricking forward.

     "Coming right up." Spark handed the plate to Tsar.

     "I will never understand how you can eat this stuff," Tsar said, sprinkling chopped teal juppie on top of the omelette.

     "Lassie said if I eat it I'll get bigger!" Damian chirped.

     Spark shot me a glare out of the corner of her eye. I smiled back, somewhat ashamed.

     "White lie," I whispered.

     "No such thing," she responded.

     I was about to retort when the door to the kitchen bursts open. Beryl walked in with Aqua thrown over her shoulder. The blue Aisha was snarling and trying to wriggle free. A flowper followed behind, chirping happily at Beryl's werhond.

     "Put me down!" Aqua snapped.

     "Nope," Beryl said. "We gotta get going."

     "Where's Gel?" I asked.

     There was a crash in the hallway and the doors opened again. This time it was a red Gelert being physically dragged into the room by a burly blue Uni and very grumpy starry Lupe.

     "She's right here," the Uni said, "and boy is she angry."

     "She-" the Gelert pointed at Aqua, "-was trying to remodulate the weather machine I built!"

     "Aqua, you know that's not allowed!" I handed Beryl a spicy red pepper omelette for Aqua. "You can only mess with Gel's stuff if she said you can!"

     "She has the humidity cranked up to high!" Aqua snapped. She was sandwiched in a corner by Beryl and picking at the omelette with disdain.

     "Darre said we have ten minutes to eat before the shutters close," the starry Lupe, Luce, said. "Sausage and pepperoni, please."

     "Ten minutes?" I shrieked. "Ten-"

     "He said that about five minutes ago," the Uni, Nako Nako, said. He was already partially through the veggie delight omelette.

     "WHAT!?" I dropped the bowl. "Spark-"

     "Way ahead of you." Spark already shut the stove top off and was scraping the half made omelettes into the trash.

     Tsar was rounding up the ingredients and throwing them in the fridge. The pet's who hadn't eaten yet were whining.

     "Everyone who has an omelette, take it with you!" I shout. "Does everyone have their petpets?"

     A quick chorus of 'yes's greeted my ears.

     "Rator, tell me that slorg's in its cage!" I yelled at my oldest pet, who was gripping a shaking metal cage.

     "For now!" the Gelert said. "But it's his old one and I don't know how much longer it's going to hold!"

     "It'll have to do!" I snapped. "Out on the lawn!"

     A gaggle of pets clutching omelettes and petpets and one very frazzled owner all crowded through the front door of the house. Tsar had the Meercas under his arms and a bag full of petpets around his neck. Nako Nako had Damian on his back and a half-eaten omelette in his mouth. I was yelling at Trinity, my Ixi, to put on a flipping jacket before I painted him molten.

     "DARRE!" I shouted. "Get your tails in gear!"

     There was a clatter inside the house and a Tyrannian Eyrie burst out of the front door just as thick metal shutters slammed down on the house.

     "Boo-yah!" The Eyrie puffed his chest fur out. "House is secure and locked down!" He turned in a little circle, his head bobbing pompously.

     "That's great, Darre," I said wearily. "You got the remote?"

     The Eyrie stopped strutting. A look of horror crossed his face. My heart stopped beating.

     "Darre?" I asked, my voice deathly low. "Where is the deactivation remote?"

     The Eyrie turned to look at me, his beak hanging open.

     "Well..." he said slowly, "it's safe?"

     "Lassie?" a dreamy voice said. It was my Xweetok, crystal. She was still half asleep and clutching her staff. "Where are we going?"

     They all looked at me. I had a Pteri under my arm and about a thousand neopoints to my name. Half of my pets hadn't eaten and the other half were shivering in the cold. I was locked out of my house and the Snowager was working his way down the street towards us.

     Just another Tuesday.

     I smiled brightly.

     "Surprise!" I said. "We're going on vacation!"

     They all cheered.

     "First stop," I said, "the arcade!"

     ----

     That was about three weeks ago. Today I'm lying on the beach, a large melowhirl fruit drink in my hand and my pets screaming gleefully in the distance. Next to me, stretched out on a towel, Halfdarkenedeyes, my blue Lupe, is sunbathing.

     "This is nice," I say, swirling the drink in my hand.

     "Mmmh," he grunts. Next to him, on the sand, his biyako stretches and yawns happily.

     There's a scream and a splash from the water. I open my eyes and glance out over my sunglasses. They're playing on the partially submerged boat. One of the pets had pushed another off of the crokabek's nest, hence the screaming. I lean back and relax again, taking a long sip from my drink. It runs dry after a few seconds.

     "Waiter!" I call, "I need another refill."

     Darre sulks up to me and fills the drink up. He's wearing a tuxedo and carrying a drinks tray.

     "How much longer do I have to do this?" he asks.

     "How long until that locksmith gets through the front door, Dark?" I ask, taking a deep breath of the salty sea air.

     "Another week, at least," Dark says. "They had to bring in a special Moltaran team."

     "There you go," I say. "Another week at least."

     "Lassie!" Strydorian the Pteri flaps up to me. "I found another bag of money!"

     "Good job!" I clap my hands together. "Put it with the rest, okay?"

     He tosses it onto a growing pile of stuff he's found on the shore. It has to be worth a couple thousand by this point.

     "So what are you going to do with all the money?" Trinity the Ixi asks from the shade of the tree line. He burns like a coal in direct sunlight.

     "Maybe we'll build a new house here," I say. "No snow storms, no snowbeasts or Snowagers." I take another sip.

     "Lots of sun, friendly locals..." Dark rumbles.

     "Low property costs, no waiting lists or hidden fees!" Trinity calls. I can hear his hooves tapping on his keyboard.

     "You never did cash in your ticket for a new neohome," Darre says.

     "Hmm." I chew on my lower lip. "Well..."

     "I found an egg!" Strydorian calls. "It's got an earring!"

     "Fine!" I throw up my hands and spill my drink all over myself. "We'll move to Krawk Island!"

     A cheer went up from my pets. I grinned and brushed the juice off of my bathing suit.

     "It has to be safer than Terror Mountain, right?" I said.

     "Absolutely!" Darre says. "I can get started drawing up plans for protection against the giant squids!"

     "What?"

The End