Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 191,690,617 Issue: 616 | 11th day of Collecting, Y15
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The Eating Contest

by melina322


"Hey, Tiger! Tiger! Lookit this!"

      I heard my older brother screaming from somewhere in the house, calling our eldest brother. I watched the Snow Kougra rush past, still searching, holding a piece of paper.

      "Kougra?" I asked and he stopped in his tracks and looked back at me. I was currently under the living room table, playing... uh, I mean... organizing my plushies.

      "Prince! Lil' bro! Have you seen Tiger? I got something to tell him!"

      I groaned. Usually when Kougra had big news, it wasn't good news.

      You see, my family isn't just some normal family living in Neopia Central. We're THAT family. THAT family that has the fire department visit at least twice a week. THAT family that has fights that can be heard down two blocks. THAT family that tends to show up on the news a lot. THAT family.

      Kougra is the troublemaker in the pack, but we all are, really. He's really the second youngest, but he refuses to acknowledge the fact and just calls himself second oldest. The true second oldest is my baby Kougra brother, Nicky, but yes, we call him the second youngest anyway. ...That was probably confusing. And the eldest is Tiger, as I have already mentioned.

      And I'm the only Kyrii... and the youngest. You'd think the youngest would be the one doing all the trouble. Heck, I'm more quieter and less destructive than my brothers, cousins, and owner...

      And don't get me started on my owner. Nope. No way. Too much.

      Anyway, back to Kougra's news.

      "What're you going to tell him?" I questioned and he grinned. He held up the paper like it was a super-important document or something.

      "Lil' bro... we're going to have an eating contest!"

      He must've noticed the blank look on my face because he sighed irritably. "They had a Spooky Food Eating Contest in Neovia! And I thought it'd be fun to reenact that!"

      I shrugged. "I guess. Who won?"

      "Some Yurble named Scarlet. But she turned into a monster or something. Anyway, gotta find Tiger!" He rushed off, leaving me even more confused.

     Just then, a Desert Kougra emerged from the hall. "Who keeps calling me? I've got work to do."

      "It's Kougra," I responded and he sighed.

      "Not Kougra..."

      "TIGER!" Kougra rushed up and smacked into my older brother, who yipped slightly as he tumbled to the rug.

      "Lookit! They had an eating contest in Neovia! Can we have one? Please, please, please?!" Kougra broke out the Puppyblew eyes, and I had to snicker at Tiger's predicament.

      Nicky walked in then, completely unfazed by our two older brothers piled on the ground as he walked into the kitchen. I crawled out from under the table and followed him.

      "Nicky, Kougra has another wild idea," I said as I entered and the Baby Kougra was pouring a glass of juice.

      "If it includes setting the wildflowers on fire again, I ain't doing it!" He huffed, tiny ears pinned back in resentment as he set the juice gallon back in the fridge.

      "No. He wants to..." I hesitated as Nicky began to drink the juice. "He wants to have an eating contest."

      The Baby Kougra did a spit-take, successfully spraying me with juice. I kept on a disgusted look as he began to jump up and down exuberantly.

      "An eating contest?! I wanna do it, I wanna do it!" He ran out of the kitchen and I turned to see Tiger get tackled once again by the euphoria-filled Baby Kougra.

      "Tiger! Tiger! I wanna do an eating contest! Can we? Pweeeez?!" He broke out HIS version of Puppyblew eyes, which no one can resist. No one. Nicky could use them on bank robbers and he'd be rich within a second.

      "I..." Tiger began, as I started out of the kitchen. Kougra suddenly whisked me forward and held me up (curse my disadvantage of my small size) and shook my slightly. "Even Prince wants to do it! Right, lil bro?"

      I gulped audibly, and forced a cheerful smile. "Yeah... I do..." I really couldn't say no. If I did, that'd mean it'd be two against two. And that usually means a war in our house, and I would be wearing a cooking pot helmet, dodging pillows and random objects, breaking the usual number of lamps and vases.

      It's happened before.

      Tiger wrinkled his nose as if remembering it also and he stood up. "Oh, alright... but I'm not joining in! I'll be the judge. And it's not going to go on for a week!"

      Kougra grinned and dropped me, and I yelped once I hit the wood floor. "Maybe we can convince Lizzy to join too!" He exclaimed as I picked myself up off the floor. Lizzy is our owner, just so you're not confused.

      Tiger laughed uproariously and Nicky joined in. I gave Kougra an incredulous look. "Must we remind you that Lizzy can barely finish a sandwich at lunch? You really expect her to have an EATING contest?!"

      Kougra shrugged. "Hey, she's getting skinnier than you. And that's saying something. Least she's not shorter or that'd be embarrassing..."

      "I'm not short!" I contradicted, and pouted. "I'm not..."

      "Alright, Nicky, help me get the food from the fridge! We're having an eating contest!" Kougra announced and Nicky cheered, racing into the kitchen.

      "...well, we're in trouble," I muttered and Tiger sighed.


      I entered the room and gaped once I saw the kitchen table.

      My brothers had three plates set on the rectangular table, and next to them was an endless pile of food. From fruits to cakes to juice boxes. My mouth was still hanging open when Nicky appeared, holding his shirt out, making a sort of bowl. He had various fruits in it, and he smiled my way. "Hey, Prince!" He called as he dumped the fruits on the table.

      "GUUUYS!" I huffed as I approached the table. "Lizzy just bought all these things from the third day of the month! We can't just... eat it all!"

      "Relax. Kougra says he has an explanation ready," Nicky assured as he disappeared back into the kitchen.

     I shook my head as Tiger entered and his expression was the same as mine.

      "They... what did they do?! You guys can't possibly use all this food!"

      I shrugged. "I tried. But I don't think Kougra will listen... he has his heart set on this stupid contest." Then did I notice Tiger's outfit. "What in Neopia are you wearing?"

      He had a whistle around his neck, and was holding a clipboard in his paw. He donned a black and white referee shirt, and a large blue top hat and a monocle.

      "Oh, I'm a referee, with a bit of class." He gestured at his hat and I rolled my eyes. "You look idiotic in that."

      "Like you know anything about fashion! I've been around longer than you, baby bro."

      I growled at him, but before I could come up with a comeback--it could've been a REALLY good comeback, but now we'll never know--Kougra arrived. "Gentleman and kiddies, I pronounce to you... the first ever annual Eating Contest!"

      "Wait... this ain't gonna be annual!" I hissed, but Kougra didn't even seem to notice me.

      "One of the contestants... the brilliant, awesome, good-looking Kougra!" He struck a pose and Tiger and I rolled our eyes simultaneously.

      "Second contestant... Nicky!" He picked up the Baby Kougra, who struck a pose as if he had huge muscles, and growled in (what he thought) a ferocious manner.

      "And lastly..." Kougra swiped me from the floor, and held me above his head.

     "Prince, the lil bro!"

      "PUT ME DOWN!" I shrieked, waving my arms.

      "This better not be a fail, Kougra. Otherwise, Lizzy will be on my tail!" Tiger huffed.

      "I won't let you down, brothers!" Kougra declared, tail swishing.

      "LET ME DOWN!" I yelled, kicking my legs. He let go and I dropped to the floor.

      "Alright! LEZZGO!"

      Somewhere out there, Lizzy was looking up right now.

      Somehow, I was seated in a chair and Tiger blew his whistle. Which I guess meant it was time to eat.

      Let me just say, I had rough competition.

      Nicky was like a vacuum, sucking up every piece of food. He was making a huge mess though, and he flung any food remains away. The kitchen was quickly becoming a mess.

      Kougra was just the same, acting like a savage animal. Was it that Kougras were just naturally like that or something?

      I hesitantly reached forward and grabbed a fruit. I bit into it and chewed slowly. I didn't care if I lost. Heck, I don't even know how I got into this mess.

      "C'mon, lil bro!" Kougra yelped, mouth brimmed in all sorts of different food remains. "EAT!"

      He smashed a small cupcake into my face. It slipped off and I sighed and tried wiping away the frosting as Kougra and Nicky continued to eat.

      I noticed Tiger was holding a pan in front of him, like a shield, to avoid the mess flying everywhere. The kitchen was getting worse and worse with every bite my brothers took, I swear.

      Lizzy wasn't going to like this.

      I stuffed a fruit into my mouth so Kougra wouldn't shove another cupcake in my face. I expected them to quit eventually, but they didn't, so I had to act like a wild starved animal too.

      It went on for a while, and I was becoming fuller and fuller, but my brothers WOULD. NOT. STOP. I was amazed. And at the same time, not so much.

      Finally, Kougra fell back, panting heavily. "That's it! I GIVE UP!" he yelled, clutching his stomach.

      I grabbed my white napkin and waved it in the air. "I was never willingly in this anyway..."

      "I win!" Nicky jumped on top of the table and threw his hands up in a celebratory fashion.


      We all turned to see our owner, mouth open in complete shock, as she stared at the ruined kitchen and the food mess everywhere. Which I had a feeling WE were going to clean.

      "It was Kougra's idea," Tiger and I piped up, unisonous, and Mom rolled her eyes. She couldn't scold the idiotic Snow Kougra though, since he was under the table, groaning both about his stomach and his loss.

      "I won!" Nicky exclaimed one last time before passing out, hitting the tabletop and landing on uneaten food.

      "I'm going to try going down from very bloated to very full," I muttered and went to my room, leaving my owner to stare at the kitchen unbelievably.

      Really, it would've been better if one of us had just turned into a monster.

The End

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