Spooktastic Tricks & Treats: Dessert Edition
Now, my mama has always raised me wrong and would never ever let me eat dessert without eating dinner first but that only made me want to eat dessert even more. Especially when the Month of Collecting starts and the day gets shorter and the nights get longer. It gets me craving some delicious sugary treats that can only be associated with the Month of Collecting. What are these treats you ask? Why, only the spooky ones, of course!
That's right, I'm talking about the kind of food you find at places like Neovia, the Haunted Woods, the Deserted Carnival. Food that is so freaky, so vile, just reading the names would give you the shivers. Anyways, the other day I was walking through Neovia and found myself stopping by this Spooky Food Eating Contest hosted by Tippens and that Masterful Chef Julien and I thought to myself: That's a mighty fine way to celebrate the underrated and overlooked deliciousness that is Spooky Food. Well, that inspired me to write this article to promote my top nine favorite Spooky Food and the reasons why you should love them too.
And since my mama raised me wrong, I figured that I would do things right this time and kick this off with my all time favorite Spooktastic Desserts. After all, dessert should always come before dinner.
Number 1: Candy Corn Classic
What else can I say about the Candy Corn Classic that hasn't already been said? The title of it says it all: that this spooky treat is a classic. Even though my mama always told me that the Candy Corn Classic isn't a vegetable and will never be a vegetable, I would tell her that it might as well be one. It's got the word corn in it, right?!
Number 2: Cobweb Cake
Now, I will always have a special place in my heart for Cobweb Cake because not only is it absolutely cheap it is also sinfully delicious. With a spongy, moist vanilla cake glazed with chocolate lacquer, my mouth waters the instant I imagine slicing my fork through its layers. Better be careful, though, because not only is the cake moist but it's also sticky from the cobwebs that are intricately draped across the frosting and between the layers itself. Chef Julien himself has told me that the secret to perfecting this cake is fresh using fresh cobwebs. In fact, it is best to take a spider and place it on the cake right before serving it and coax the spider to weave its web directly onto the cake itself. That way you can get the full sticky flavor of it. Of course, it is only proper etiquette to take the spider off the cake before you eat the cake... you have been taking the spider off... right?
Number 3: Bleeding Heart Jelly Sundae
I have always considered myself a romantic and this sundae is the most romantic dessert I have ever found! Perfect for splitting between you and your soulmate, the Bleeding Heart Jelly Sundae is exactly as the title says it: a Jelly Sundae. Normally this jelly sundae is served chilled glass bowl with two spoons (for you and your beloved, of course!) and the sundae itself is shaped as a heart, literally! Expert jelly-makers are even able to make the heart replicate the pumping motion of a real heart and you get to watch the blood pump within the heart's chambers. Oh? There's no quotations around the word blood? Oh how silly of you, what did you expect a Bleeding Heart Jelly Sundae to taste like? Cherry? No, the best jelly is made with fresh blood with hint of cherry - or strawberry if you prefer.
Number 4: Brain Ice Cream
If you consider yourself too "logical" and too "practical" for something so emotional like the Bleeding Heart Jelly Sundae, perhaps you should consider the Brain Ice Cream instead. Whenever I feel like I could use a little brain boost, I would head on out and buy myself a scoop of this delicious frozen treat. Rumor has it that the Brain Tree itself would sometimes demand its patrons to go get him dozens of these ice cream cones at a time instead of the information he normally seeks. That is how amazingly potent these Brain Ice Creams are for your brain. However, I must warn you: don't eat more than three cones a week. You don't want your brain grown too big for your skull and start leaking out of your ears now, do you?
Number 5: Snail Cream Cone
Alright, so if blood jelly and brain ice cream isn't your thing and you're looking for something a bit more recognizable, then look no further than the Snail Cream Cone. This is one of the richest and most creamy ice cream cone I have ever tasted. When I first got this, I was skeptical of the molding ice cream cone but it wasn't until took a bite of the ice cream and was in absolute bliss. First, the cream itself is made of the finest of vanilla beans combined with hand picked garden snails which adds the extra creaminess to the ice cream. Second, the fresh slime from the snail sitting on top of ice cream itself adds a layer of complexity to this dessert and makes it that delicious to eat. Finally, that moldy cone gives this dessert the earthiness it needed to keep your taste buds grounded. Like the Cobweb Cake, it is only proper to take the snail on top off before eating the ice cream. Only this time, it doesn't matter if you forget. There's enough ground up snail in the ice cream, what's a little added protein?
Number 6: Almost Gummy Rat (Lime)
One of my all time favorite carnival foods is the gummies I can buy and walk around with. My personal favorite is the Almost Gummy Rat and it has to be Lime flavored. Why Lime? Because strawberry looks to tame, grape looks to generic and lime looks downright toxic. It even tastes toxic. The first bite into this rat and it's as if you're chewing on obviously artificial limes drenched in artificial sugar and all you can think about is the sugar rush you can get from this saccharine soaked goodness. I've always considered myself to be one of classy tastes when it comes to food but the Almost Gummy Rat (Lime) is one of the few treats where I can bypass class and devour it with glee. Now, occasionally you'll hear one of these gummies squeak or try to run away, just ignore it. It's your imagination. Now, why is it called the "Almost Gummy Rat"? Beats me. But Chef Julien says that only witches know how to make them and he's been trying to get their recipes for years.
Number 7: Army of Undead Cupcakes
If there is one thing I love more than anything else, it would be cupcakes. For this reason, I will always list the Army of Undead Cupcakes as one of my most favorite cupcakes of all times. The reason why? All you need is one. No, I don't mean that all you need to eat is one and feel content. What I mean is all you need is one cupcake because that one cupcake will spawn more cupcakes and both cupcakes will spawn more cupcakes and those cupcakes will spawn more cupcakes and more cupcakes! Everything the Army of Undead Cupcakes touches will turn into more cupcakes and soon you will be in cupcake happiness! However, I can't say that the Army of Undead Cupcakes will ever be my favorite cupcakes for two reasons. Reason one is because the Army of Undead Cupcakes tastes like nothing. Nothing at all. It's bland, dull and boring. The only reason why I like it so much is because it's fun turning everything it touches into cupcakes. Which leads me to the second reason why I will never love the Army of Undead Cupcakes: these cupcakes accidentally turned my house into a giant cupcake one time... and all my furniture... my books... my lawn... it even almost got my petpet.
Number 8: Psimouse Cake
This is the most adorable cupcake you will ever encounter. Made from the very best cheesecake filling, this tiny cake is made in honor of one of the most beloved Spooky petpets: the Psimouse. Everything in this cake is made out of cheese or some form of it: from its cheese chocolate eyes, to its cheese vanilla frosting, to even its cheese strawberry ears and nose. Chef Julien prides himself in being able to craft one of these masterpieces for any Neopet who is willing to pay the heft price that comes with eating one of these decadent treats. There isn't anything too spooky about this treat aside from the fact that skilled chefs are able to make the Psimouse Cake look at you with its adorable eyes and guilt you into never eating it. It's too cute to put a fork through its ears and dismember it! Note: There are no Psimice killed in the process of making this cake.
Number 9: Pink Spooky Floss
This is my favorite Spooky treat of all time. The Pink Spooky Floss: a cotton candy floss that screams as you eat it. Although I could never figure out what this spooky treat tastes like - either either bubblegum or watermelon - all I know is that if I ever visit the Deserted Fairground, I absolutely have to buy one of these screaming treats. After all, it's always nice to have someone, or something, screaming with you as you careen down those broken roller coasters or traverse through the haunted house. This is also something that chefs all over have been dying to figure out who to make. Again, only those versed in magic would know who to make this floss and some would go as far as selling their soul to knowing how the process of making this soulful sweet treat is made.
Well then, I believe that is a wrap on my little opinions on what my favorite Spooky Treats and Desserts are! I want to toss a thank you to Chef Julien and Tippens for providing the inspiration for this lovely article here - I sincerely hope Chef Julien would let me into that kitchen of his afterwards so I can get some samples he's been giving out. And I hope that this article would inspire some of you to broaden your taste buds and get on out there to try some these amazing Spooktastic foods today!