The Minion Perspective – Faeries
Good day to you, readers of this fine publication. You may call me Ted if you wish. As my username suggests, I am a minion of the great scientist Dr. Frank Sloth, but please don't hold that against me. Hearsay might have coloured your opinion of my Master and his "minions", but every story has its different sides, and since joining Virtupets I have begun to develop a different perspective on many of the situations facing Neopia today. (After all, the planet looks very different when you are orbiting from space.)
And so, dearest reader, I would like to introduce you to The Minion Perspective; a new series of articles that I will be writing whenever I find both the time and the inspiration to do so. (Unfortunately for some of you, this probably won't be all that often as I am very dedicated to my day job. Please don't cry. You'll make me cry too, which makes reading a thermometer considerably more difficult.)
And what better topic to begin my discussions with than Faeries?
We've all seen faeries, although most of the time they simply pop up at inconvenient times to send you on random "quests of great importance". (If the quests were that important to them, they wouldn't pay the Shop Wizard to refuse you service! Try doing a quest for Illusen, Jhudora or Taelia. No ancient laws of magic stopping you from using the Shop Wizard when they're involved.)
But what do we really know about the Faeries? Popular culture certainly has a lot of theories about them, some of which are even mistaken by naïve young Neopians for proven fact. Below are some commonly held beliefs about Faeries, accompanied by a discussion of my own views on the subject. This is merely my opinion, yes, but bear in mind that I am an exceptionally intelligent individual with all the answers and no reason to feed you biased information.
(And if you hadn't already guessed there, I was being more than a little sarcastic.)
1. Light Faeries are naturally good/Dark Faeries are naturally bad.
You might be thinking "Ted, are you having a laugh?", but hear me out on this one. I've heard all the same stories you have, many times over. Dark Faeries are notorious tricksters, this I will not deny. However, there are exceptions to this stereotype. Take Delina, the infamous Crafting Faerie, for instance. Although some might argue that she is a tool for furthering evil, I don't believe she herself is acting out of any harmful intent.
No, the element of Darkness is not inherently evil. Indeed, the property it seems to most correlate with is creativity. That is the reason most Dark Faeries seem to enjoy pranks. It isn't out of maliciousness, but boredom. You'll notice that after Faerieland fell, there was a marked decrease in the number of reports of Dark Faerie mischief.
On the same token, the element of Light does not immediately promote goodness. Light illuminates all surfaces, which means it is all too easy for a Light being to succumb to superficiality. Light Faeries will more often than not judge individuals based on appearances rather than what lies within.
However, their ability for sight also extends to less physical dimensions, like morality and ethics, and so they often have a strong moral sense. Because of their nature, this causes them to concentrate on the actions an individual takes, rather than the motivations behind those actions.
This is the main cause of the friction between Light Faeries and Dark Faeries. Because of the Dark Faeries' behaviour, Light Faeries see them broadly as malicious tricksters, whereas because the Light Faeries are used to seeing things only one way, Dark Faeries tend to find them boring and obstinate.
Similar differences of opinion exist between all opposing elements, but none seem to generate half as much friction as the relationship between Light and Dark.
2. Every faerie in existence conforms to one of six elemental types.
Now, this is one of the most complicated topics of Faerie discussion, and there are a lot of contrasting opinions. However, one thing that everyone can agree on is the existence of these six "elements": Light and Dark, Earth and Air, Fire and Water.
These are the elements of life; an overabundance of any one element would spell doom for Neopia's ecosystem. It is a very fine balance, one that is maintained by the division of the elemental powers among the Faerie population.
However, anomalies do appear in this system. Jhuidah, Taelia, Mira – even Fyora herself – do not seem to correspond to a single element. Of course, this might be explained by a theory stating that as a faerie grows older and more experienced, she is able to explore and harness the powers of other elements in addition to her own. This makes sense for Jhuidah (earth and water – island) and Taelia (air and water – snow), but what of Fyora and Mira?
Leaving Her Royal Highness aside for now, let us concentrate on the Space Faerie. Ask yourself, what do we mean by "Space"? How does it relate to elemental powers? Well, as anyone who has experience of travelling between worlds knows, Space is chaos. A vast storm of disordered particles and electromagnetic waves assault any craft that dares venture past the protective shield of their planet's magnetic field.
And there lies our answer. Planets are islands of order in a sea of chaos. Indeed, the Queen and the Space Faerie can be thought of as opposites. Fyora, guardian of Neopia, ruler over all of society, resonates strongly with the concept of Order. Conversely, Mira, the loner who drifts across galaxies, motivated by emotion rather than logic, whose very image appears to shift and change as you look at her, seems the living embodiment of Chaos.
3. Male faeries do exist! The Happiness Faerie proves it!
I do not know where people seem to keep getting this idea from. It is well known, and has been stated clearly by Faeries and Faerie-experts alike, that they are an all-female species. No exceptions. The Happiness Faerie may look a little unorthodox, yes, but like all species, there is a degree of mutation wherever genetics is concerned. The Happiness Faerie is merely at one of the far edges of the bell curve that defines all faeries' outward appearance.
"But Ted, it's clearly just some random guy wearing a mask. If she truly were just a normal female faerie, why wouldn't she be hounding the glory like all the rest of those self-obsessed hypocrites?"
Now now, there's no need for language like that! Faeries do seem to have a rather rigid view on aesthetics, so it's possible that the Happiness Faerie hides her face out of shame. I imagine many of the more unique-looking faeries born in Neopia would feel like outcasts in such an appearance-based society. There might even be an element of discrimination against such individuals inherent in Faerie society. Notice that all the most reclusive faeries – Taelia, Ilere, Jhuidah – have something about their appearance that sets them apart from the main Faerie population.
It wouldn't surprise me if faeries, whether intentionally or not, commonly drive others away due to obsessing over small differences. After all, do we as humans act so different?
It should be clear that there is more to faeries and Faerie culture than is obvious at first glance. They are not just wings and pretty faces. Like humans, like any species in fact, they are complicated and they are diverse.
That said, should we really trust them so easily with our plans and our politics? Have they earned that level of trust, or do we simply have no choice? They are indeed very powerful, and sometimes that power results in great atrocity.
Unfortunately, with the relative lack of solid information on Faeries (strange, that, isn't it?), there can be no real consensus on whether or not they have been a good influence on Neopian culture. However, it wouldn't do to forget that they were the original inhabitants of this planet. Regardless of their motivations, they have shown great kindness to humans and Neopets alike by allowing us to settle here.
I leave you to come to your own conclusion. This is nothing close to an exhaustive discussion, but I hope I have given you some food for thought regardless. After all, if contrasting opinions are never heard, how are you to know if anything you believe is true?
Questions for the minion!
Why? Well,s why ever not! Can you honestly say you are not the least bit curious about what I get up to when I am not causing consternation on the Neoboards?
That said, if you do have any questions for me, send them to me by neomail (or, *ahem*, some other method) with the phrase "TMP question" or suchlike in the subject or body of the message. If you wish to be credited as "anonymous", merely mention and I will not include your username in the next article. I will attempt to answer all questions, but bear in mind that I will not reveal any information that is classified.
unnamedgraves asks: You have a chance to get a faerie quest daily and if you finish it you'll get good dailies. Would you take the offer if all the quests were crafting faerie ones?
To put it bluntly, certainly not! I would rather earn neopoints and items through hard work and dedication, using the same rules and odds as anyone else in Neopia, than give money to TNT and their masters (whoever they may be) for a chance to cheat the system.
flick_up asks: Have you ever done or said anything embarrassing in front of your Neopets?
Ah, yes. Fans of mine might have wondered when I would be mentioning the infamous DrSlothWannabe. (Yes, I do have fans.) Crazy, as he likes to be called, has a face that all too often attracts the metaphoric egg. And so he makes a special effort to recount any and all of my embarrassing moments – in exceptional detail - to my co-workers. To be honest, with the amount of times we've had a laugh at his expense, I don't blame him.
His favourite "funny story", and the one that seems to provoke the largest reaction whenever I have been watching, involves me sleepwalking in the middle of the night, muttering something about needing to fetch more broccoli sandwiches for "master Brucula", whoever that is. I don't remember this myself, of course, and it wouldn't surprise me if Crazy had made it up, but I do find his impression of me somewhat amusing. I just wish he wouldn't keep performing it in front of the Grundos. (It's become a running joke for them to ask me if I mean Sloth or Brucula whenever I refer to "Master" at work.)
effervesentpanda asks: I have had Meepits offer me candy, so should I join them?? Will they really give me candy or are they lying?? Cuz I really want to join them....
Ah, Meepits. They are a strange bunch indeed. Not much is known about them, and yet rumours abound. (Why so paranoid, Neopia?) From my own experience, I can say that Meepits are unlikely to lie. If they say you will receive candy, then you will more than likely receive it. However, they are a vague and secretive bunch, and this minion advises caution when dealing with any individual or institution promising you sweeties in return for undefined services to them.
(And no, that is not how I started working at Virtupets. Master was very clear on what would be involved in my duties before I signed the contract. In spite of the "Sloth minion" caricature so commonly portrayed in popular media, we do not devote ourselves to someone we know next to nothing about just for some vague promise of power. The best and brightest do not fall for that trick so easily, Jhudora.)
I should like to thank you all for your time, though perhaps it is more you that should be thanking me. Hopefully the next edition of The Minion Perspective will not take quite so many months to write.
If you have any feedback, opinions, or suggestions, I would be more than happy to hear them. My neomail is always open. Until we speak again, keep your mind sharp and your eyes open. You never know what wonders might be hiding in the details.
Disclaimer: The opinions contained within this article are those of one individual and do not necessarily represent the views of Dr. F. L. Sloth or Virtupets Inc. as a whole. This message has been approved by the Solicitron v2.4.