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The Chomby Connoisseur – A Literary Guide


by valdeceit

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'The Month of Running', it is called- and befitting is such a brand, with the clamorous hooves of our Tyrannian companions scuffing many a' floor in anticipation. Such a picture rings out within their minds, reminiscent of last year's celebration- the streamers crafted of foliage and flora, tents boasting bounties of salads and scrumptious teas…and here it's come to nip their thick little heels once more, the Chomby Carnival!

And yet, for some Chombies do the brazen parties ring distasteful- overwhelming and unpleasant to the less sociable herbivore. "What is there for US to do?", mumbled one lone Chomby- his sullen grey eyes downcast, "All the shouting hurts my ears, the fireworks are far too bright…I just want to stay inside, where it's placid and calm."

It was all I could to pat this poor little longneck atop his pitiful head, with the promise of a silent way to celebrate his heritage. And with this, I have compiled a critic's list of the best Chomby-centric books Neopia has to offer- all read by yours truly and guaranteed to sate even the sourest of literary tongues.

Chomby Poems : A Collection by B.C. Gronkk

Poetry is a staple of Chomby culture, and what better way to begin our list than with a respectable anthology? Not only does it contain the dark, longing 'Annabel Leaf', but several classics such as 'A Tree Within a Tree', 'Phenomenal Chomby', 'I Hear Tyrannia Singing', and 'I Know Why the Angry Chomby Stomps.' Critically acclaimed from Brightvale to Terror Mountain, budget-friendly, and best enjoyed over hot herbal tea and fine vegetarian cuisine.

The Angry Chomby : Authored by Dynk Little

Despite the consensus deeming the Chomby a peaceful, contented breed, the beast within possesses the potential to show. This insightful social commentary is brought to us through Ghunthur's eyes, a lone yellow Chomby left to fend for himself in the streets of Neopia. Ignorant to affection and never touched by a tender hand, he soon falls under the care of a mysterious, kind stranger. Can a cruel Chomby change? Follow Ghunthur's path to redemption in this tale of strife versus solace.

The Great Chomby Caper : Authored by Tom Chancy

Quoth the author, 'A spine-tingling tale of murder and intrigue.' A rare novella and notoriously high in price, if you've status on your mind and a bounty of neopoints to spare, be certain to add this chilling book to your reading list! A nod to famous Neopian bank-robbers Chomby and Blythe of days long gone, your tail will be sore from prolonged sitting upon the edge of your seat. Told in vivid detail and with no punches pulled, this scandalous story of herbivore hubbub will not soon be forgotten.

The Many Colours of a Disco Chomby : A Memoir by Disco D. Dino

Neopia is home to a myriad of Chomby citizens- chocolate, Maraquan, starry and ice- but none stand so bold against their brawny brothers as the disco sort. A heartfelt but humorous telling of D.D. Dino's youth as one so vibrant, you'd be heartless not to shed tears of laughter throughout the poor fellow's colorful misadventures. From late nights spent at Tyrannia's concert halls, rocking out to Chomby & The Fungus Balls to the disco Aisha craze of '02, Neopia's most colorful culture is lightheartedly exposed. A one-of-a-kind book, feel free to judge it by its cover- the stories held within are just as wild!

The Zombie Chomby : From the mind of R.L. Stego

What happens when a plant-hungry, gentle giant becomes a brainthirsty, mindless monster of mayhem? From the crypt of the Haunted Wood's most renowned four-legged author, The Zombie Chomby has been hailed as the utmost in undead literature and was met to rave reviews. Take a bite of the fright as our nameless, brainless villain wrecks havoc upon Neovia's streets, terrorizing citizens and loudly (albeit frequently) proclaiming his need for BRAINS! Will he be sated in his putrid quest, or may he be talked down from his madness with the lure of brain-shaped tofu with organic tomato sauce? Pry into these dusty pages to find out.

Chomby Carnival : Authored by B. Arney

If you haven't the intention to attend it, why not indulge oneself by reading of it instead? And, moreso- perhaps it will justify your choice to abstain from the festivities! Follow poor Kiran throughout his misfortunes a'plenty, from chasing his fleeing Puppyblew to empty pockets and a rotten omelette. A perilous tale of action and consequence, one burning question will leave readers across Neopia eaten alive by a merciless cliffhanger- where DID Kiran's Puppyblew go? Solve the mystery in B. Arney's continuation 'Chomby Carnival II: Puppyblew, Where Are You?'

The Secret Chomby : Authored by Y. Birdo

Thirsting for a thriller to settle your mind as the celebration blares loud? Drown out the external world as you delve deep within this unnerving puzzle of tar pits and the artifacts hidden deep within. Trace the dangerous adventures of Marco Dino, a seasoned Chomby explorer searching for the Monoceraptor's remains as both will and wit are put to the test. Scaling treacherous mountains, combating vicious bargasaurus herds, and dodging dungfalls of grand scale- one will surely not find themselves bored nor bemused by this white-knuckled telling of treasure and determination alike.

Introverts and intellectuals never fear, your solution to a homebound Chomby Carnival is here! A feast for mind and eyes of those without taste for parties but a palette for prose, I- a simple critic of Neopia's finest prints- do hope that every Chomby and their enthusiasts alike shall find something upon the above list to keep themselves busied as the festivities explode in but mere hours.

Find oneself a set of sturdy earplugs, steady your furniture and breakables, and settle down with a warm drink and salad. The Chomby Carnival has arrived at year's long last, and may every herbivore spend it in literary bliss.

Happy Chomby Day, Neopia!

 
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