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To Be Robot


by gabjasfriends4ever

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The first thing I remember is being abandoned; the files of my prior life deleted and lost forever. My name is M4GN3T and I am a Robot Gnorbu. My living quarters is a quaint cell in the Neopian Pound. Being Robot is nice. But I suppose my computerized brain can simply not compute what it would be like to be alive; sometimes I think about it. Emotions... they sound satisfactory. Veero is always sad, and that is not a nice emotion, or at least they say. Nevus is very happy. It would be nice to be happy. *Beep* I was very obsessed with emotion; I wanted to understand and be living. Living sounds *crackle* satisfactory as well.

      (Loading memory sequence...)

      * * *

      "Lights out, M4GN3T," the Techo guard grunted as he strolled passed the cell. I nodded slowly, a mechanical whirring emanating from my hard drive.

      "Entering power save mode..." my mechanical voice sounded and the whirring ceased abruptly."Good night." Another day came and passed and I was still in my cell, staring at the grey cement walls all day as I processed complex mathematical problems in my mind for fun. I would giggle every time I answered it. But the laughter was fake. Automated and untrue, I wasn't happy. Nor was I displeased. I was simply neutral as I have always been in my lifetime.

      The morning brought a flood of light cascading from the slits between the bars of my cell. I powered up, my metal ears perking as my green eyes lit up like a traffic light. My ear sensors could already detect the sound of hundreds of Neopians scrambling through the pound searching for potential pets. Maybe this would be my day. I straighten myself up and waited patiently for someone to pass by. A few merely strutted past my cell without even casting a glance in my direction; some would look at me for a few minutes and give me a sympathetic smile as they continued on.

      A small Acara approached my cell and looked at me with wide blue eyes. Her owner examining the Kyrii in the cell across from mine.

      "Mommy! Mommy, look!" the Acara beamed, bouncing enthusiastically. I smiled.

      "Hello, little Acara. How are you today?" I said in my monotonously mechanical voice. She grinned at me.

      "I'm good, mister Robot," she chimed and turned to her owner. "Mommy, can we keep him, pleeeease?" The owner just shook her head absent-mindedly and waved her hand to dismiss her.

      "No, Vissa," she muttered. "Um, excuse me? Sir? I would like to adopt this Kyrii," she said as she pointed to the Mutant Kyrii. His face lit up as he realised what was happening. My ears drooped and I looked down. It would be nice to be loved. The Acara frowned and began to bawl and yell in complaint.

      "It is alright, Vissa," I said reassuringly. "I am okay." The Acara girl named Vissa smiled meekly and wiped a tear from her eye with the back of her paw. Nodding, she was led by her owner and her new brother towards the exit. The Kyrii looked back at me sadly; he too had been a long-term resident of the Pound and now he was finally going to his forever home.

      "Better luck next time, eh M4GN3T?" I nodded in acknowledgement.

      "Thank you, your sympathy is appreciated," I stated blankly, the light in my eyes flickering. They all continued on, Vissa pausing to turn and wave goodbye. A smile crossed my metal visage as the young pet ambled along, her infant legs stumbling with every few steps. I released a sound similar to a robotic sigh and sit down on the cold concrete floor.

      I watched as an Eyrie sauntered past my cell; his feathers were a dull grey and his red eyes drooped with the colors of grey. He was tailed by a young Xweetok, a faerie flitting about on magnificent wings.

      "Hey, Veero!" The Xweetok grinned. "Check out this one." She pointed towards me. The Eyrie raised his head and peered at me with his sunken eyes. "He's SO cool!" she exclaimed.

      "Yeah." He frowned. "Excuse me, what is your name?"

      "My name is *crackle* M4GN3T, but you may address me as Magnet," I beeped delightedly, glad that these two had taken some notice of this lonely old robot. The Eyrie smiled weakly.

      "Ah. Well, I am Veero and this is my sister Nevus."

      "Pleasure to meet you, Veero and Nevus." I smiled a mechanic smile; my hard drive was whirring with anticipation. It was plausible and perhaps even logical that they would adopt him seeing as they had taken such a measure of notice that far exceeded a 'non-interested' relationship. I could only wait in silence as the two conferred and decided my fate.

      "So, Magnet. Are you interested in being... adopted?" Nevus asked, hovering above the ground just beside Veero. He gave her an irritated glance.

      "Nevus!" he muttered through clenched teeth. "We haven't decided yet!" The Faerie Xweetok placed her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrow.

      "Aw, c'mon Veero! He's a keeper." I nodded in agreement. The Eyrie sighed and closed his eyes to concentrate, a few moments passed before he opened his eyes again.

      "Fine," he said. "You want to come?" I nodded eagerly, my steel neck giving a metallic clink. Nevus pumped her fist in the air and grinned at me. Veero called over the Techo guard and signed a few sheets of paper, one I recognised to be the official adoption papers. The guard winked at me and unlocked my cell, escorting me outside. Freedom. What a beautiful thing for my sensors to record!

      "Finally! A brother who doesn't mope all the time," Nevus simpered.

      "I do NOT mope," the Eyrie hissed, glaring at his sister, annoyed. She returned his remark by imitating his voice.

      "If you will excuse me, siblings. Where do you live?" I asked as I trotted alongside my new-found family. Feeling the grass brush against my hooves for the first time in my life.

      "Faerieland," Nevus answered. I nodded. I searched my memory files for any trace of Faerieland, eventually finding it amongst the thousands of other mental files I kept locked in my 'brain', which was actually a chip of coding and machinery that made up my entire being. Without it I was nothing but I pile of scrap metal.

      "Ah yes, I do recall that name," I said. "I am bursting with joy at the thought of seeing this new area." I stated, my voice as blank as a clean whiteboard, nothing but a robotic buzz accenting my voice. Something shocked me about this sentence, though I simply could not place my hoof on it. And then, it hit me.

      Remember when I told you about emotions, my longing for the ability to perceive feeling like other pets do? This is when it began. Because at that moment I realised that even though I could comprehend every single possible mathematical problem with ease or could recall the scientific name of every single petpet or petpetpet that has ever existed, the one thing I had never been able to understand was feelings.

      What is joy? Sorrow? Anger or frustration? These were merely words to me, meaningless and insignificant. Nothing. And for some peculiar reason far beyond all logic, I, a robot, wondered what it was like to not be a robot. To be alive.

      "Trivial," I murmured.

      "What?" Veero said as he strutted by my side, glancing at me with a quizzical expression. I turned to him, my eyes shining vibrantly once more with curiosity.

      "I was merely stating that it must seem like a trivial thought to you, but what is emotion? I hear it is enjoyable," my robotic voice replied, I fixed my gaze on the ground. Awaiting his answer with bated breath. Before he was allowed a chance to answer, Nevus swooped down and interrupted.

      "Wait... you mean you don't know what feelings are? Like, what is feels like to be happy and junk? Man, that must be weird for you. Were you always robot like this? 'Cause I hear that all pets are born with one of the four basic colors." I blinked at her, surprised that I had never thought of my past, that perhaps once I did know what it was like to have emotion.

      "Hmm. I can't recall much of my childhood. In fact, I don't recall anything before my first days at the Pound. That's all I have ever known." Immediately I froze, my ears perking up as I formed an idea. "Hold on a moment, that is it! Colour! What if I were to change my color?"

      "Y-you mean like the Fountain Faerie?" my sister stammered. "Are you sure?"

      "Of course! But it's only a matter of obtaining access to this fountain that apparently contains magical properties..." I began to ramble on as I often do. Veero cut in.

      "Well... if you are really sure about it... I have a completed quest I have saved up. Maybe we could go down." My green eyes shone brightly at my new brother and I could feel my machinery hum once again as I processed the potential of this plan. What if I did change my colour? What would it be like? I knew only one thing, I simply could not wait.

      * * *

      The fountain spread out before me, the lush grass gave way to the pond that remained clear water. The Fountain Faerie turned to them, her face lighting up with recognition.

      "Ah, Veero. Welcome. Have you come for your reward?" Veero nodded.

      "Yes, for my friend here. His name is –"

      "M4GN3T, I know!" she finished, gazing at me in surprise. The three looked at her in equal shock. I could not compute what my ear sensors were detecting. Perhaps there was a malfunction in her words.

      "But how?" I asked, head tilting slightly to the side. She took a long inhale and began her tale.

      "I remember the first time you came here, many years ago. You had a loving owner and you were her first and by far the favorite pet. She saved up for months so she could complete my expensive quest, and when she had, she brought you. You were a Blue Gnorbu at that point." She paused for a breath of air amongst her hurried words. "I asked her what she wanted you to be morphed into, without hesitation she said Robot. I warned her that you would not be able to feel emotion afterwards but she paid no heed, she said that no matter what happens she would still love you. So I put you into the water and you were turned into a Robot, you emerged a machine."

      Nevus gave Veero a quick 'this stuff just got real' glance as I sat before the faerie, immersed in her story. This was the past that had always evaded my grasp, all the memories that were no longer there.

      "And then what happened?"

      "The two of you left, still thick as thieves. You still loved each other like you had when you were alive; it was miraculous to say the least. But then something terrible happened. Days later, the two of you were crossing a bridge, you had already happily trotted to the other side yet your owner was still leaning over the side of the bridge, looking at the rushing river beneath. You heard the decayed wood creak and groan beneath her weight, so you jumped at her, tackled her aside before she could plummet into the water. But it came at a price; instead, you fell from the collapsed bridge and you were swept away by the current of the water."

      I gasped, though it was more of a mechanic inhale than a gasp. Nevus came and put a reassuring paw on my shoulder, giving me a sad look. Veero perched beside me, maintaining his grey expression.

      "And you were destroyed by the rocks." The faerie sighed. "They managed to piece you back together and re-install all your mandatory components, but your memory of everything before that day was lost. Gone forever. Residing in oblivion. Your owner felt it best that you were enabled a new life with a new family, things just weren't the same between you two. She would tell you that she loved you and you would only blink at her in confusion. So you were put in the Pound," she finished sadly. "I'm really sorry, Magnet."

      I shook my head slowly. "No, apologies are not necessary. Thank you for telling me the truth." Veero turned to me.

      "But this is your chance, Magnet. Do you want to be alive?" Veero asked. Nevus grinned from behind him.

      "Think of all the possibilities," she chimed. "You could be Faerie! Like me! That would be awesome!" Veero rolled his eyes. I stepped up to the water, peering at my reflection; my green eyes that had been a defect, seeing as the Robot Gnorbu are supposed to have red eyes, at my metal ears and the dial pad that was placed on my chest. Did I really want to leave all that behind?

      "No," I murmured, and shook my head. "I am not going to change." The Fountain Faerie frowned slightly.

      "But what about emotions?" she asked. I closed my eyes in concentration. The humming within me grew louder, like the beating of a heart; of my heart of steel.

      "I-I remember," I stammered. "I remember everything. I remember it!" I exclaimed. "I remember being... happy. And when I fell from the bridge, the last thing I remember was being sad. Even though I was Robot, I was still sad to lose everything I loved." I could not comprehend the thoughts that raced into my head. "I get it now."

      Nevus and Veero looked smiled at each other and then at me. The Fountain Faerie winked at me, giving me a knowing smile.

      "And I am happy to announce that I will always love to be Robot." Unexpectedly, Nevus swooped down on me and gave me a hug, motioning for Veero to join in.

      "No, really... I don't hu-GAH!" Nevus grabbed him by the paw and pulled him in, squeezing her eyes shut as she hugged me.

      My name is M4GN3T and I am a Robot Gnorbu. My living quarters is a nice home in Faerieland. Being Robot is great. But I suppose sometimes my computerized brain can't help but wonder how things would be if I had changed my color after all; sometimes I think about it. Emotions... they are most satisfactory. I am certainly happy. *Beep* I have a family now too, and they are *crackle* the most satisfactory of all.

The End

 
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