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Pidgy Marie, The Neopian Pound, The Unclothed Truth.


by legen_wait4it_dary

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The following is a transcript of last nights, Interview with Pidgy Marie, The Neopian pound, The Unclothed Truth.

Pidgy Marie here reporting to you live from the famous Neopian pound. For those not familiar with the pound, (and I mean really, where have you been living? A cave in Tyrannia?) the pound is one of the happiest places in all of Neopia. A place where poor abandoned pets, such as that pink Uni over there can find a loving home once more.

I'm sorry. I couldn't help but overhear you. I am not an abandoned Neopet.

Well, of course you are, darling, whatever would you be doing inside these walls if you weren't?

My name is-

Are you getting this, Alfred?

And I help the Neopets here find their new homes.

Of course you do, darling. Well, I am happy we ran into you then. Our faithful listeners want to know… Why do you remove the clothes from painted pets before adopting them out to new owners?

That's a very good question, and one we get a lot. You see, clothes can carry all kinds of icky things in them. As you know many of the pets here come to us sick. It is so much easier keeping fur, feathers, and scales clean then it is clothes.

And what about Moltara pets? Why do they turn red when adopted, is there some sort of conspiracy going on behind closed doors where these pets are concerned?

Oh, of course not. Actually we would prefer to leave the pets just as they are, in fact we allow them to stay with us in the pound as Moltara and only snuff out the fire upon their departure. You see, our pets are required to sign a statement agreeing to go home with their new owners. If we didn't put out their flames, they'd simply burn the document up over and over again. Trust me, we tried and ruined a perfectly good Zargrold binder in the process.

Talk about a hot mess. Haha, um well, moving right along. I've heard a rumor that occasionally, you get the rare unconverted pet staying with you. You don't make them remove their clothes, or change their color. Why is that? Hum?

As my granny always told me, respect your elders. Unconverted pets are usually older, and a little sensitive to change. Many are too set in their ways to adhere to our rules and we find their stay is usually much shorter than most pets, so we just let them wear their clothes at their own risk. What can you do?

It's interesting you should say that because some of your "guests" just so happen to be "Elderly" pets. Now, if these old fragile things must remove their clothing, don't you think it only fair to remove the clothing of the unconverted?

Oh no. The elderly pets, with their wrinkles and their whiskers, they need extra care and attention to help them from getting Neomonia, or Neopox. It really is in their best interest.

Another curious and yet, delightful rumor is that occasionally you can find a Bruce in the pound who still has his Bow. Isn't that scandalous?

Oh well, I won't lie and say it isn't true. Occasionally a pet or two slips through the no clothing policy, I mean after all, they are only pets, like you and me they have their flaws. They break the rules, and sometimes, sad to say, they do get sick. It is an unpleasant reality.

When you discover these, Bruce's and their rule breaking ways, do you ever reprehend them?

Oh no. They are hurting, just like most of the pets staying with us. I understand why they might want to hold on to something personal while inside our walls. In fact, that is the very same reason we don't remove petpets.

Realllly? You don't remove petpets? Isn't that unsanitary?

Not as much as you might think. The pets with petpets have shown great responsibility when taking care of their little friends. They keep them clean and fed. I think the companionship and how it effects their mood while they are with us outweighs the problems they could potentially cause.

Brilliant idea! No, really, I am a genius! Suppose you did remove the petpets from the pets. Would you start a petpet adoption agency as well?

I suppose if the petpets ever became a problem, that would be something we could look into further… but for now the petpets haven't been a problem for us.

Has this no clothes rule had an effect on you personally?

Well, as you can see I've kept my same pink color since these doors first opened up. I admit I've always fancied the gorgeous lei of the Island ponies, but I feel that it is important to not ask anything of our guest, that I would not be willing to adhere to myself, so yes. I would say so.

And what about Dr. Evil, he doesn't seem to have a problem with breaking the "no-clothing" policy, does he?

Oh no. He isn't always the most pleasant is he? I do believe he enjoys flaunting his lab coat in front of the pets. Why, in fact, not too long ago a few rambunctious baby pets snuck into his office while he was asleep at his desk and ran off with his lab coat.

Oh isn't that juicy! And what did Dr. Evil do about the thievery?

He was angry, oh yes. He abandoned his post and chased after them. They ran and ran until he lost them. Apparently they hid his coat in one of our cafeterias. It took him a while to get it back. Meanwhile the entire pound went down for business!

No! You don't mean… does this explain?

Oh yes… pound release. It's all Dr. Evil's fault. I mean really, if he'd just leave that awful jacket at home.

Unbelievable. And don't forget! You heard it here first. This is Pidgy Marie signing off!

Join us next time with, Pidgy Marie and Tyrannian Caves, Prime Realty In The Making!

 
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