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The Twelve Days of Giving


by mystie06

--------

To: Illusen and Jhudora

      From: Queen Fyora

      Subject: The Twelve Days of Giving

      Dear Illusen and Jhudora,

      The month of Celebrating is now upon us. A time of giving, laughing, decorating, and singing. A time for family, and forgiveness.

      Except, of course, when it comes to the two of you.

      I never did understand the cause of your feud, nor do I want to. I do want to make it clear that it ends now. Over the past twelve months I have received several hundred complaints about you two, ranging from the infamous Slumberberry Slushie incident during last summer's Altador Cup to the current plague of Symols in Faerieland. Quite frankly, it's getting old, and I am sick and tired of having to deal with the two of you, and the messes you create.

      Now, I should remind you that, as the Faerie Queen, I do have the authority to impose any number of unpleasant punishments on you, including but not limited to several weeks in my dungeons or several hundred hours of community service. I have instead chosen to deal with you and your sister in a way more fitting to the season.

      As Illusen is no doubt aware, there is an ancient Meridellian tradition called 'The Twelve Days of Giving,' in which small gifts are exchanged between friends and family members each day, starting on Borovan Day and ending on New Year's Eve. This, then, is what I want the two of you to do: give a small, thoughtful gift to each other every day, starting on this coming Borovan Day, and ending on New Year's Eve. Your gifts don't have to be fancy or expensive, just small items you think the other would like.

      My hope is that this exercise will teach you both to think of each other as sisters instead of enemies, and hopefully by the start of the new year you will both be ready to put this feud behind you.

      Best holiday wishes,

      Fyora

      Faerie Queen

      ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

     On the first day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      a Pawkeet in a Phear tree

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      Homemade Borovan mix? What kind of a present is that? Do you realize what's in that stuff? (Okay, since the label says 'homemade' you probably do know what's in it, but still!) This is the worst attempt at a thoughtful gift I've seen in a long time. Or have you forgotten I'm allergic to asparagus?

      Your evil sister,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      Prior to opening your gift this morning, I would have apologized profusely for forgetting that you're allergic to asparagus. I now think it serves you right, seeing what you gave me for the first day of Giving.

      Had you given me a normal Pawkeet, in a normal Phear tree, I would have thought it was a cute gift. But no, you gave me a bunch of moldy, rotten Phears glued to a dead branch, and a Pawkeet who squawks the phrase, "Jhudora rocks Illusen's socks!" at the most inopportune times. I finally had to cast a silencing spell on the Pawkeet and fly the sorry excuse for a Phear tree over to the Rubbish Dump so that I could actually get a bit of work done today. Thank you for ruining my Borovan Day.

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

     On the second day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Two Bartamus

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Dear Illusen,

      To make up for my poor choice of gifts yesterday, I'm sending you a pair of Bartamus, raised by yours truly. I can assure you that these little critters are fully house-trained, and that this is not part of one of my schemes for taking over Neopia.

      Your evil sister,

      Jhudora

      P.S.-Thanks for the Purple Spotted Cheese. It's not too bad, though it does have a rather... unique aftertaste.

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      How, exactly, will my owning two Bartamus not make everyone believe I've gone over to the dark side?

      On the other hand, considering how many neopoints I just made selling said Bartamus at the Trading Post, I should really thank you for funding my upcoming vacation to Mystery Island.

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      How could you bear to sell such adorably evil little Petpets?

      Wait... you sold them for HOW MUCH?! Hmm... I wonder how many Bartamus I could get away with selling before Queen Fyora catches on?

      Yours,

      Jhudora

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the third day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Three Mortogs

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      Since you seem so fond of sending me Petpets, I thought you might enjoy a few of Meridell's finest Petpets to keep you company in your evil lair.

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      "Meridell's finest Petpets" my foot! These Mortogs you sent me are the slimiest, most disgusting things I have ever seen, and that's saying something! They're worse than Slorgs! Not to mention their incessant croaking! Good thing they fetched a nice price at the Trading Post; I'll finally be able to afford all the repairs to my lair. Thanks, sis!

      Evilly yours,

      Jhudora

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the fourth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Four rotten Neggs

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      Four Jhudora Rotten Neggs. Oh, these will come in handy. Thank you so much, Jhudora.

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      You don't have to be so sarcastic about it, Illusen.

      Actually, Jhudora Rotten Neggs are considered something of a delicacy in the Haunted Woods, and they're very useful for brewing a variety of potions.

      Oh, and thanks for the Rain Water Shampoo. I'll be sure to use it the next time I want my hair to smell like Meridell.

      Yours,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      When you said the Neggs I sent you would be useful, I really didn't think you meant they'd be useful for throwing at my house.

      Oh, and nice job with the shampoo; it turned my hair invisible. I look like a Magical Hair Usuki Reject. Mind sending me the recipe?

      Your evil sister,

      Jhudora

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the fifth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Five fruitcakes

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      You sent me five fruitcakes?! And I thought I was supposed to be the evil one!

      Yours,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      Fruitcakes are a traditional gift in Meridell, mainly due to our tradition of flinging fruitcakes at the Darigan Citadel on the Day of Giving (you don't want to know what they drop on Meridell in retaliation). The ones I sent you are too hard and stale for that, so I sent them to you; if nothing else, they'd make delightfully evil yet festive items to hand out to your questers.

      ~Illusen

      P.S.-Thanks for the Chocolate Faerie Log. Um, is there some reason you replaced the little Fyora figurine on top with a tiny voodoo doll that bears a striking resemblance to me? And why do the little tree figurines look like they're on fire?

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the sixth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Six cans of Achyfi

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      I awoke this morning to find six cans of Jhudora's Achyfi on my kitchen table--I assume this is your Day of Giving gift to me? Anyway, I drank some with my breakfast, and I really think they need to change the item description; perhaps something along the lines of, "You know you're evil when you have your own signature flavor of Achyfi!" Seriously, this stuff is really disgusting! Did they get the recipe from you?

      Oh, and I hope you enjoy the gift I sent you. Merry Day of Giving!

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      Why, exactly, would you think I would want an autographed poster of Meridell's Yooyuball team? I can't decide if I want to sell it, or use it as a dartboard.

      As for the Achyfi, I thought you would enjoy it, seeing as it contains root extracts and all. Though I agree, the taste does leave something to be desired.

      Evilly yours,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      I'm an earth faerie; I know root extracts when I taste them, and the ones in this can of Achyfi are not ones that should be consumed by any living being.

      Ooh, I don't feel so good. Did you put some sort of curse on the Achyfi before you sent it to me?

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      One the seventh day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Seven Whoopee Cushions

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      Do you have any idea what it does to a dark faerie's reputation when her friends sit down to tea only to find Whoopee Cushions on their chairs? Or when a quester watches a dark faerie seat herself upon a throne, accompanied by the sound of a Whoopee Cushion? Thanks to your childish prank, I'm now the laughingstock of half of Faerieland. Illusen, this means war!

      Your evil, and extremely angry, sister,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      In retrospect, the Whoopee Cushions weren't a good idea.

      I'm sorry, Jhudora, I really am. But you see, the antidote for the Achyfi I had yesterday required consuming a large quantity of sugar, and... well, you know what I'm like when I've had a lot of sugar. Really, it seemed like a hilarious idea at the time.

      Actually, the Whoopee Cushions were much funnier than the Urchull singing badly-written ballads about a certain dark faerie's exploits, which, if you'll recall, was what you sent me today.

      ~Illusen

      P.S.- Since when do you have friends?

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the eighth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Eight Symols digging

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      I awoke this morning to find a team of Symols literally undermining the repairs to my castle. Why did you send me Symols for the eighth day of Giving, and why, oh why, did you paint them dung? My lair now smells like the Meridell Rubbish Dump! I'd send them back to you, but that would require touching them, and... ew. I settled for turning them into piles of soot instead.

      Your evil sister,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      Funny story about those Symols. See, late last night the Kacheek in charge of the Rubbish Dump brought me eight Symols he'd found burrowing through the rubbish. They're not actually painted dung, though I'll admit they do smell like it. I really didn't feel like dealing with eight smelly Symols at that time of night, and I hadn't come up with a present for you for the eighth day of Giving, so I sent them to you. At least they're only slightly worse than the giant 'I *heart* Dark Faeries' sign I found hanging above the entrance to my glade this morning.

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the ninth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Nine Meepits dancing

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      You know, Ilere's going to be really angry with you when she finds out you stole her prized ghost Meepits and sent them to me. Especially since those dancing ghost Meepits usually guard her grove and keep Balthazar and other unsavory denizens of the Haunted Woods from reaching her doorstep. If I were you, I'd take off on a nice long vacation to the Lost Desert as soon as possible. Remember, Ilere doesn't have to be nice and kind.

      ~Illusen

      P.S.- I'm running out of ideas for gifts, so I sent you a fruit basket from Brightvale. Enjoy!

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      If I apologize profusely, will you talk to Ilere for me? I mean, she might be more willing to listen to a fellow earth faerie, right? Please?

      Yours,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      I already sent the Meepits back to Ilere, with an explanation of where they'd been and why you'd taken them. She's still angry at you, but I think she'll let you off easy this time. Maybe.

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the tenth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Ten Spyders spinning

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      I'm not going to ask you why you sent me Spyders today; it's such an expected gift to receive from a dark faerie. Nor am I going to ask why you sent me ten of them, since it's the tenth day of this stupid exercise. What I do want to know is where in Neopia did you get ten vials of Petpet Growth Serum? I'm certain Kayla wouldn't have sold them to you, and you'd soon lose the loyalty of your questers if you started asking them for potions. Did you find the recipe somewhere?

      In any case, I'm sure you'll be pleased to learn that I awoke this morning to find myself encased in a cocoon of Spyder silk, and, had it not been for Jeran stopping by for an early morning chat, I would have found out how giant Spyders devour their prey. You'll be less pleased to hear that the sight of ten giant Spyders attacking me brought back memories of the Meridell-Darigan wars to Jeran, and, well, the Spyders are no more. Sadly, Queen Fyora will almost certainly learn about this, and I doubt she'll be pleased with either of us.

      I'm really starting to hate this 'Twelve Days of Giving' thing.

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Seriously, Queen Fyora should have known this whole 'Twelve Days of Giving' thing wouldn't work.

      It was worth it, though, to see those Spyders go after you--I watched the whole thing in my crystal ball. You must be a really deep sleeper to sleep through all that. As for the Petpet Growth Serum, well... that's my little secret.

      Evilly yours,

      Jhudora

      P.S.- Thanks for the sack of potatoes. My Bartamus thinks they make great chew toys.

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the eleventh day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Eleven Werelupes howling

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Illusen,

      Just after midnight last night a pack of Werelupes surrounded my lair and started howling in perfect harmony. When I tried to drive them away they said they were here on your orders. What is this?

      Your evil, and sleep-deprived, sister,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      It's called revenge, Jhudora. Sweet, sweet revenge.

      It's also my gift to you for the eleventh day of Giving. See, one of Jeran's friends in the Meridell Army has a cousin who's the leader of a Werelupe pack in the Haunted Woods, and he agreed to send part of his pack to your bluff in exchange for several Honey Potions. Their instructions were to surround your lair and perform some of their traditional howls until you started throwing things at them, at which point they were to present my compliments to you, then return to the Haunted Woods. I'm glad to hear they performed their duties as requested, and I'll have to make a note to some them some complimentary cream cookies.

      Oh, and thanks for all the Urgonis you put in the stream in my glade. They're so cute!

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      On the twelfth day of Giving

      My sister sent to me

      Twelve bottled faeries

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Jhudora,

      I did not think even you would stoop so low as to buy bottled faeries off Balthazar. Besides, isn't it illegal for any faerie to obtain bottled faeries for any reason other than to release them? Queen Fyora is not going to be pleased about this.

      Anyway, I let Jeran open the bottled faeries you sent me, since he claimed he still needed several faerie abilities. The faeries in question were all very glad to be released, of course, though I should warn you that Aunt Gertrude was one of the bottled earth faeries you sent.

      I'm glad this stupid Twelve Days of Giving thing is finally over. Let's make sure not to do this again next year.

      ~Illusen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Illusen

      From: Jhudora

      Not Aunt Gertrude! Anyone but Aunt Gertrude! Do you remember what she did to us that time we sabotaged her garden when we were kids? *shudder* I still have nightmares about that.

      Oh, and just so you know, the can of enchanted Cobrall plushies gag is so five centuries ago. Was that really the best you could come up with?

      Evilly yours,

      Jhudora

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Jhudora

      From: Illusen

      Relax, Jhudora. Do you really think Aunt Gertrude would fit in one of those tiny little bottles? I was just trying to exact a tiny bit of revenge, and your fearful reaction to my last letter was just what I'd hoped for.

      By the way, you do realize those were real Cobralls I sent you, right?

      ~Illusen

     ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

      To: King Skarl

      From: Queen Fyora

      Dear King Skarl,

      Well, that worked amazingly well. Any more bright ideas?

      In all seriousness, I think that Twelve Days of Giving thing actually made Illusen and Jhudora hate each other more than they did before. It certainly brought me more complaints about those two than I usually see in an entire year!

      Sincerely,

      Fyora

      Faerie Queen

      ~*~ ~*~

      To: Queen Fyora

      From: King Skarl

      Your Majesty,

      Come to think of it, the Twelve Days of Giving tradition never worked terribly well when my parents used to make Hagan and I do it every year. Oh well, I'm sure someday one of us will think of some way to get those two faeries to stop fighting.

      Best wishes for the new year.

      Yours faithfully,

      King Skarl of Meridell

The End

 
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