Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 189,919,878 Issue: 563 | 21st day of Gathering, Y14
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A Day in the Life of Malice, Spite, and Vanity


by dr_tomoe

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*Riiiiinnnnnggggg!*

      A pale hand reached out from under a blanket and then fired a purple blast of dark magic at the ringing alarm clock. Not a moment later, the annoying device exploded into a million tiny pieces from the blast.

      "Spite!" the dark faerie shouted out, ripping the blanket away. "You set your alarm clock too early! You know I need my beauty sleep!"

      "Why do you think I did that, Vanity?" Spite said with a slight giggle in her voice, earning her a growl from her sister.

      The other dark faerie was wide awake, as Vanity grumbled and got out of her canopy bed. "Where's Malice?" Vanity said, grabbing one of her pocket mirrors and checking her reflection.

      "She's around," Spite replied, rather ominously, although Vanity was too busy checking her reflection to pick up on it.

      "Tssh..." Vanity scoffed, "She better have not forgotten that we were going shopping today." The dark faerie pulled out a container of makeup, which suddenly exploded in a shower of white from the tiny bomb that had been put in it!

      Vanity coughed for a moment in the cloud of makeup before creating a wind of dark magic to blow the makeup away. She turned quickly to glare at Spite and started to charge up a dark magic attack, when the other dark faerie put her hands up. "That one wasn't me!" she protested.

      "And that was for replacing my shampoo with green dye the other day!"

      That came from the doorway, as the third dark faerie sister poofed into the doorway in a cloud of purple smoke.

      "Malice!" Vanity said, "You know better than to mess with my makeup!"

      Vanity fired the charged shot of dark magic at her sister, who quickly ducked the blast, causing the dark magic attack to cause something to crash in another room. None of the three dark faeries seemed to care about that, considering what was going on now.

      "Well," Malice said, "If you're going to be like that, then I'm not going to tell you."

      "Tell me what?" Vanity said.

      "Sorry, too late. You lost your chance!" Malice said, sticking her tongue out at her sister.

      "She was gonna say that there's a doorbuster sale at the Clothing Store in Neopia Central. Fifty percent off everything until ten AM NST," Spite said.

      Malice glared at her sister. "Now why did you go and spoil my fun?" she hissed, as Vanity gasped at the news.

      Vanity grabbed another makeup kit from her supply and checked her appearance again in another handheld mirror. "Well, what are we waiting around here for?" she said as she touched up her appearance after Malice's makeup bomb.

      "We were going to go anyway," Spite said, sticking her tongue out at Malice, "I just figured why should you go and get all the fun?"

      "Ready!" Vanity said, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

      "Finally," Malice said. "If you put any more makeup on, you'd look like a Chia clown."

      Vanity glared at her sister, but let that snide remark pass. Seconds later, the three dark faeries poofed in a puff of purple smoke.

      ***

      Moments later, a crowd of pets were running out of Uni's Clothing screaming as dark magic bolts were flying out of the store.

      "You know," Spite said, "when they said it was a doorbusters sale, you didn't need to literally bust down the door."

      "It was more fun that way." Malice said, purple smoke coming off of her hands. "Besides, I hate crowds."

      "Yeah," Vanity said. "They can go to the Second Hand Shoppe and wear old potato sacks and piles of dung. The finer clothes should only be worn by the finest faerie, and that would be me!"

      "Pssh," Spite said. "Maybe at the Poogle Racing Track. Here, this is something more along your style."

      Spite tossed a T-shirt at Vanity that had a picture of a Sproing on it. "Ewww!" Vanity said, holding it at arms length. "Who would wear something like this?"

      Seconds later, the T-shirt was engulfed in purple flames as Vanity did Neopia a favor in her mind and vaporized the offending article of clothing. "Good riddance," she said, as she dropped the still-smoldering article of clothing onto the ground.

      "Excuse me!" a new voice shouted, as the Uni who owned the store popped up from behind a counter, "You're going to have to pay for that!"

      Her response from the dark faerie sisters was a trio of purple magic bolts flying her way. The Uni shrieked quickly and ducked behind the counter again. "You should be paying us for getting rid of something so ugly!" Malice shouted out. "Now pipe down! We're shopping!"

      "Or better idea!" Spite added. "Make yourself useful, and find us something that isn't hideous!"

      The Uni continued to cower behind the counter, just waiting for the moment that these three dark faeries would leave the store.

      With that annoyance taken care of, the three dark faeries continued to browse through the racks of clothes, most of them not meeting with their approval. And the worst offending clothes found themselves meeting the same fate as the Sproing T-shirt, being engulfed in black magic flames.

      "We're really doing the world a favor," Spite said, torching a pair of Meerca Maid Shoes, "I can't believe anyone would have the gall to wear something like this."

      "It's even worse when someone actually buys something so hideous," Malice agreed, another rack of clothes being passed over in disgust.

      This continued for several minutes, with the dark faerie sisters going through the clothes racks like a plague. Anything that didn't meet at least the tiniest bit of approval from them was quickly burned. There were so many piles of magically burning clothes that the Uni store owner thought that the entire shop might burn down. But at the very least, the magic of the dark faeries was concentrated on the clothes themselves, but not the shop.

      "Ugh," Vanity said, going through another rack "I can see why they had to put this stuff on sale. This stuff is a rip-off at full price!" She had pulled a dress off of one of the clothes hangers and gave it a quick look. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. But it was better then some of the other dresses that were being sold. Vanity decided to hold onto it in case she couldn't find anything better, as Spite and Malice continued to torch more clothes.

      "Oh wow, I don't believe it! Dark faeries!"

      The dark faerie sisters all turned at once to the entrance to the clothing store, seeing a young Wocky standing in the doorway, the door that Malice had blown off of its hinges no longer smoldering. For some reason, he didn't seem scared of the three of them. In fact, he looked sort of excited.

      "Is there anything I can get for you?" he said with enthusiasm. "Is this a quest?"

      Malice was about to blast the young Wocky, but Spite quickly put her arms up to make her sister stand down. "Sure, you can go on a quest for us," she said with false sweetness in her voice, "You can help us find the best looking dress in this entire shop!"

      "Really?" the Wocky said. "I thought Dark Faeries usually asked for toys?"

      "Well," Spite said, "we're not usual Dark Faeries. Now you want this quest or not?'

      "I'll take it!" he said, and then started to go through the various racks of clothes in the store as well, imaging what sort great rewards these unusual dark faeries would bestow upon him.

      Vanity grabbed her sister by the arm. "Are you kidding?" she hissed to Spite, "Look at him! He wouldn't know good fashion if it came up and blasted him to Kreludor!"

      "And I don't want to waste my time looking through more ugly clothes!" Spite said, jerking her arm free. "So we let him go through more of the dregs, and when we're done, tell him he failed and then blast him."

      "Hm?" the Wocky said, already ankle deep in a pile of clothes. "Did you say something?"

      "Nothing!" Spite said in her fake-sweet voice again. "Just keep looking! And see if you can find a pair of shoes to match!"

      The Wocky had a bit of a confused look again, but just shrugged it off as he continued his search for the best dress in the store, pulling more clothes off of the rack and making a larger pile, as the Dark Faerie Sisters did the same. The only difference was that the Wocky didn't burn what he found unappealing.

      After about twenty more minutes of browsing and burning, Malice had finally had enough.

      "UGH!" she shouted out. "What is with this store? There isn't anything even remotely decent to wear here! I should just torch the whole thing!"

      Vanity and Spite weren't that far yet, but both of them were feeling like this was a waste of a trip and of a sale. It wouldn't take much for the two of them to join their sister in agreement and blow up the entire clothing store.

      In fact, that was just about to happen, when the Wocky suddenly burst out of a clothes pile.

      "Ah ha! Found it!" he exclaimed, grasping a dress in his paw.

      The three dark faeries turned to look at the Wocky, the three of them having honestly forgotten that he was in the store with them. But what caught their attention was the dress that he had found. It was indeed the most glamorous and fancy red dress that the three of them had seen in the entire store, and its discovery quickly brought Malice, Spite, and Vanity to his side.

      "It's perfect!" Malice exclaimed.

      "I have to have it!" Spite said.

      "You? Ha! This dress has my name written all over it!" Vanity protested.

      All three dark faeries made a grab for the dress, ripping it out of the Wocky's paws, and then kept trying to pull it out of the grasp of the others.

      "Its mine!" Malice said. "I saw it first!"

      "I'm the one who got him to look!" Spite protested.

      "No! It's mine! You two wouldn't be able to appreciate it like I could!" Vanity shouted.

      The three dark faeries continued to pull on the dress as the Wocky watched the fight between the sisters. "Ummm..." he said as the dark faeries continued their fight, gathering their attention for a moment.

      "I don't mean to interrupt, but don't I get a reward for completing the quest?" the Wocky asked hopefully.

      Malice, Spite, and Vanity stopped fighting for a moment, looked at each other, and then to the Wocky.

      "Oh right," Spite said.

      "Don't worry, we'll reward you," Malice said.

      "With warts!" Vanity finished.

      The three dark faeries then blasted the poor Wocky, blasting him into the wall of the store. "Owwww...." he muttered, and then looked at his hands. Slowly, he was getting covered in warts! They were covering his paws and arms, and as he saw once he looked into a mirror, his face was covered in warts too!

      "Why?" He looked up to the three dark faeries with tears in his eyes. "I did what you asked! Why did you do this?"

      "I did say that we weren't usual dark faeries," Spite said with a laugh.

      The Wocky blinked tears out of his eyes, and ran crying out of the clothing shop.

      "Let's see you try and win a Beauty Contest now!" Vanity shouted after him, laughing at his misfortune.

      While her sisters were distracted, Malice took the opportunity and grabbed the dress away from them. "Its mine!" she shouted, and rushed to the counter, where the Uni store owner was still cowering.

      "Hi there!" Malice said to the Uni, and lifting up the dress. "Do you by chance have this in black?"

      ***

      Much to the luck of the Clothing Store Uni, she did have that exact dress in black, and even more fortunately, three of them left. So aside from the numerous amount of damage caused to her property, once the three Dark Faerie Sisters had their dresses, they left without further incident. Granted, the property damage they caused to the Clothing Store was well-over half-a-million Neopoints, and well over one-hundred thousand Neopoints in destroyed clothes, it could have been so much worse. That, and one young Wocky's trust in the Faeries was shattered.

      And at the end of the day, Malice, Spite, and Vanity returned to their home, at the very least content with how their shopping excursion at the Clothing Store had turned out.

      However, the peace in their home wouldn't last, as a shrill shriek echoed throughout the area.

      "Who replaced my Raindrop Shampoo with Chocolate Syrup!?!?" Vanity's voice echoed.

      Spite had to withhold a laugh as she heard her sister scream.

      Wait until she found out what she did to her hairbrush.

The End

 
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