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An Interview with the Labyrinth Blumaroo


by impellent

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Welcome back, everyone! Today I have a very interesting and even more exclusive interview to give you with none other than the Labyrinth Blumaroo himself! That's right, the unfortunate star of the Neopets game Fetch! has taken some time out of his busy schedule finding all his master's lost items to answer a few of my questions. Fortunately, I was able to catch him in between his runs through the labyrinth so as to assure that I could make it back alive. The following is a transcript of the interview that took place:

"Hello! Normally I like to start these interviews by having my subject go on the record about their name. In particular, it seems you have a very curious name. Care to tell us more about it?" I ask, hoping to start the interview off with a light question.

"It's more unfortunate than anything else. My name is Labyrinth Blumaroo and I come from a long line of Blumaroos that have all worked for the master, gathering things that he forgot or lost in the Haunted Woods. You can call me LB if you want though," replies LB in a woeful tone.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Can you tell me something, though? From what I hear, your master just orders you to find things in the Haunted Woods; there's nothing about your master forgetting or losing these things. Is that really true?" I ask.

"Oh yes, I'm afraid. It's really both a gift and a curse. On one hand, the master is always sending me out to get the things that he misplaces. On the other hand, I would be lying if I said I didn't sometimes just wait five minutes to see if the master still remembered that he wanted something. It actually works about half the time too; the master will want faerie dust, then five minutes later the master won't remember that or even why," replies LB, still sounding very melancholy.

"Say, speaking of your master, is there anything you can tell me about your master's identity? I am sure that a lot of Neopians would love to know," I ask, hoping to get the big scoop.

"Oh... uh, it is definitely not one of Edna's minions! Nope! No it is not! I'm sorry. I cannot tell you who my master is. The master would not like that at all. Edna wouldn't either... because my master definitely is not one of her minions," replies LB in an evasive tone, like he was trying to hide something. Normally I would dig deeper, but LB is already starting to sweat a little and I want to dig deeper than that.

"That's alright! I won't tell Edna if you don't," I say, blinking when I do. "However, I was hoping that since you cannot tell us anything about your master that maybe you can divulge a little bit about your relationship with the Tentacompass."

"Boy, it's a real love-hate relationship. Sure, the Tentacompass does help me navigate around the map and has even been responsible for saving me on numerous occasions, but... " says LB, hesitating a little bit.

"But what LB?" I ask, hoping to push deeper.

"Well, it's gross," replies LB, "just because I am a mutant Blumaroo does not mean that I am okay touching that slimy, gross disgusting thing all day long! What is that thing anyways! It doesn't have a mouth or a body! It just has that creepy eye!" To be honest, I laugh pretty hysterically at this. I do not know about the rest of my readers but personally the thought has never crossed my mind that a mutant Blumaroo might not like interacting with such gross things.

"Wow. No wonder you resent having to continually go into the Haunted Woods to fetch items for your master. Do you mind if I ask you some fan questions?" I ask, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit.

"Sure! Anything is better than traveling back to the Haunted Woods," replies the melancholy Blumaroo.

"Alright. If you could trade places and be in any other game of your choice, which game would it be and why?" I ask, hoping the light hearted question would cheer him up.

"Oh, that one is easy! I would trade places with the Meerca from Meerca Chase! Have you seen the way that that Meerca smiles? I just know that I would be so happy in that game; it would not even matter that I'm allergic to neggs," replies LB, clearly not thinking that thought all the way through.

"Oh," I reply, trying to put on a smile for LB's sake, "that sounds really great. I bet you would be just so happy in that game. I have another question for you if that's okay though. Some of my other fans want to know: what do you think when you're not fetching items for your master?"

"Man, that's another easy question! I go looking for things in the Haunted Woods!" replies LB enthusiastically. Confused, I try learning more.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I ask, "I thought that you resented having to go into the Haunted Woods to look for things for your master! Why would you want to do that in your spare time? That doesn't make any sense!"

"Does it not, though? First, since this is my free time, I do not have to do what the boss says. If I want to pick the easy labyrinth, I can do that. If I only want to get the items that are not gross, I can do that. Speaking of items, since this is during my free time, I get to keep the items that I find as well instead of handing them over! It's great!" replies LB, laughing. However, all of a sudden, his ears perk up like he is listening to something. Before I know it, LB is back to his melancholy self and tells me that he has to go fetch something for his master. Unfortunately, that puts an effective end to my interview with the Blumaroo.

So there you have it, folks! I hope you are all as excited to read this interview as I was to conduct it! It's the very first time that the Labyrinth Blumaroo has ever gone on the record at the Neopian Times but hopefully it won't be the last time. That's all for now!

As always, please feel free to send me fan suggestions on what to do next!

 
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