Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 189,680,121 Issue: 557 | 10th day of Hiding, Y14
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Beating the Heat

by crrazay


A small bead of sweat forms at the top of your forehead and slowly makes its way down your face, reaching your chin and finally dropping into the soup-filled spoon that you were about to take a bite of. "Great," you think to yourself. Now you are not only practically swimming in your sweat, but you have to eat it, too.

"It's hotter than Moltara today!" you exclaim while you turn on the TV to check the weather where you are and around the world. 106° F burns in the screen. It's 139° in the Lost Desert, 108° in Roo Island, 124° in Tyrannia and 97° in Meridell. You're surrounded by blistering heat—it seems as if there is no escape!

"What on earth could we possibly do?" your pet squeaks out. It may look beautiful outside, but going out there would be dreadful, and moving around while you're out there might nearly kill you! It's a shame to waste the summer months dreading the heat after you've recently suffered through an entire frigid winter and rainy spring waiting for it, but there is nothing you can do about it.

...or is there?

Well, have no fear, Triayne is here! Being a summer-born Maraquan Gelert, Triayne knows all there is to know about summer activities and how to stay cool. Isn't that right, Triayne?

"Why, yes! It is true. I am quite the expert on this sort of matter," she giggles. You don't necessarily think this is a laughing matter when your face is as red as Cornupepper Jelly, but you are somewhat desperate at this point and figure you might as well listen to her.

"Alright, first off, we need to get you in the correct mindset. You can't let yourself be bothered by the heat. Remember that this is SUMMER! No neoschool, no homework... maybe you have a few chores here and there, or the occasional Job Coupon to use, but you have so much more time to play!" she exclaims. Well, she does have a point.

"So stop being like The Grumpy Acara and remember that!" I guess you have no choice but to comply.

"Okay, so Tip #1: Go to Maraqua!" she shouts excitedly.

"I mean, come on. How didn't you think of that? The whole place is underwater. It's common sense! Maraqua's weather is always nice and cool, and nothing feels better on a hot day than going swimming. And even if you aren't Maraquan, you'll still be welcomed. Just put on a Seaweed Necklace and you'll be able to breathe under water! It's not even 10,000 NP, so what are you waiting for? You can explore a whole city underwater without getting a sun burn!"

Hmm, that really does make sense. Maybe she really is worth listening to.

"And there are so many things to do! You could...

1. Go exploring! Whether it's visiting King Kelpbeard or swimming around with all your friends, there's always somewhere fun to go. Maraqua has beautiful, lively scenery and deep places to explore, so what's not to love?

2. Go to Kelp! Kelp is a lovely restaurant with delicious foods just waiting for you to feast upon. There are appetizers, main courses, desserts, and cocktails. If eating gourmet food doesn't cheer you up on a hot day, I don't know if anything will.

3. Go shopping! There are many shops in Maraqua, and it's so fun to look around in them. There's Maraquan Petpets, where you can find a cute little fishy friend for your pet, Collectable Sea Shells, where you can get an assortment of beautiful shells that are found in Maraqua, and Maraquan Battledome Items, which has many cool weapons that can help you during battle.

"It all sounds good, doesn't it?!" she asks. You're still so tired from the heat and all that sweating that it's hard to really express happiness at the moment.

"What, that doesn't suit you? I guess that tip was a bit obvious. I suppose I'm going to have to try a bit harder, then!

"Tip #2: Join the Altador Cup! Watching sports is a wonderful way to connect with people rooting for the same team as you. The Altador Cup only happens in the summer, so you might as well go watch it!

"So, how would this help with the unbearable heat? It's simple. It would take your mind off of it! Or the sweat from sitting in the stands would cool you off with the breeze. But, anyway, with the other cheering fans and the Yooyus flying about, heat wouldn't possibly cross your mind. All you have to concentrate on is your team winning the game. What would be better than watching your team take home the gold? Not much!

"Ok, so really, maybe it wouldn't take your mind off of the heat THAT easily. But other things about it would help, such as...

1.) The Team - You could discuss new strategies and the other team's weaknesses with your fellow fans new. Create new plays and try them out with your friends. Maybe the order needs some tweaking, or your main goal scorer should be switched. Then, when you think you've found a strategy that may work for your team, tell them! How great would you feel knowing you helped lead them to victory?

2.) Merchandise - With the team water bottles, of course you wouldn't get too hot. Just squirt one on your head and have a few drinks of it and you'll be ready for anything. When the wind blows, it'll make the water on your head feel cold, and you'll be hydrated, making you feel all better.

3.) Fans – You'll have tons of fellow fans to talk to. It will be like making thousands of new friends! Everyone around you will be cheering the same names, wearing the same team jerseys, waving their team pennants and foam hands while drinking out of their team water bottles. What is a better way to connect with a large group of complete strangers?"

Oh my, you just forgot about the heat! Don't worry, I won't tell Triayne yet. Your secret is safe with me.

"That still isn't good enough? My goodness, you're making me pull out all the stops!" she tells you, excited to continue on.

"Tip #3: Go to the beach! There are tons of things to do on the beach. You can play frisbee, get a tan, play volleyball, build a sand castle, listen to music, talk to friends... and when you get hot from all of that, just go swimming! What a perfect way to cool off.

"Take a picnic basket with some Juppie Jam Sandwiches and Neo Crackers—and don't forget the Neocola—and enjoy them in the sun or shade! You can't forget about beach games, either.

"Mynci Beach Volleyball is a very fun game to play on the beach. It gets more and more intense after every level, however, so watch out! It can get very competitive and might make you pretty warm, so make sure you jump into the water after every round."

Ohh... water. You begin to daydream a bit before she snaps you back into the burning, hot reality of, well, not being on the beach.

"I'll even give you a list of fantastic beach destinations for you to check out!

1. Roo Island Shore - Pack a picnic basket full of goodies and sit on a blanket in the cool, green grass. Perhaps you can even go for a Uni ride on the Merry Go Round—how fun!

2. Mystery Island Beach - Sit on a beach towel in the sun, skip stones, and enjoy the juicy fruit that falls from the trees around you. It is a rather good way to keep cool and be healthy!

3. Kiko Lake – Here you can shop, swim, go on tours, and even do some deep-sea diving. Maybe you will see some interesting shells and Petpets under water!

4. Krawk Island - Get your Toy Sail Boats ready, 'cause the waves are wild here! Make little miniature pirates and sail away. And maybe, if you go there enough, you'll be kidnapped by ACTUAL pirates and become one! Yay!"

These ideas do sound good, but all they're doing right now is making you wish you didn't have to be stuck in this hot room talking to an overly upbeat Gelert about how to stay cool.

"Hmm you just won't be pleased, will you?" she inquires. "Well, I'm about to give you my final idea, so you better be listening!"

Thank goodness. If you weren't too hot to get up, it'd be a terrific time to go to the beach. As you are thinking about how nice it would be to be laying in the sand with a Palm Fan right now, Triayne hands you a ball. Well, I guess it's something.

"Here, take this. You look a little hot and I think it will cool you down," she calmly states. Could it be a joke? It's a ball. It is a bit unusual, but she doesn't seem to be hiding anything. How could it possibly cool you—SPLASH!

Triayne bursts out laughing as you stand there, shocked and now soaked from the ball that just exploded on you.

"That brings me to my final tip. Tip #4: GORMBALL!" she shouts in between giggles.

"If you're willing to go against some of the champs, why not play Gormball? It's not like getting hit with the ball and getting soaked is a bad thing during the summer. And besides, you only have to win one little game to get the avatar. After that, it is all about having fun and staying cool.

"Well, well, well... is that a smile I see on your face? I do believe it is!" she smirks, knowing she finally won you over. Sorry, but she's good. We should have known we couldn't have possibly kept a secret from her for very long.

"I knew I'd be able to make you enjoy this seemingly unbearable heat. Now that I've given you the ideas, go outside and use them! And if that ever gets boring, you now at least have the knowledge and the mindset to make the best of the weather, and I think you'll be able to come up with a few ideas of your own. So go on, get out there! Neopia is waiting!"

You heard the girl, so what are you waiting for?! Go outside and beat that heat!

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