Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars Circulation: 189,680,121 Issue: 557 | 10th day of Hiding, Y14
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Shop or Not: The Cleanliness of Neopian Shops

by oo_luckey_duckey_oo


Neopian shops are always buzzing with action no matter what time of day it may be. Many Neopians dash out to the shops to try their hand at finding a great deal whether it is on food, books, stamps or any other of their daily needs. While it may be a "hot spot" of Neopian action, many Neopians fail to take into account the actual cleanliness of the shops which they wander into! I have taken it upon myself, in good health I might add, to go around and check out the cleanliness of the shops in Neopia Central to finally answer all your cleanliness queries and get you back on your restocking path.

Neopian Fresh Foods:

The name, while I thought may be a little misleading, is actually quite accurate in the items. Upon stumbling on into this small burger-shaped shop, I was greeted with Elephante Salads, Green Apples, Plain Mashed Potatoes, Cartons of Orange Juice, Checkered Carrots and several other items that would do any pet's health wonders!

In addition to this, they had a selection of Baby Food for our young little friends, and even Waffle Cones, Milkshakes, Cheesecakes and other desserts that would suit any sweet tooth!

The overall finding of the Neopian Fresh Foods is that it is indeed quite fresh, and you Neopians out there should have no fear in stopping in for all of your fresh food needs!

Kauvara's Magic Shop:

Who doesn't love magic?? I must admit, I had really high hopes for this shop, but when I actually looked at the items being sold in the shop, I was a little horrified! Let's take a look at some of these items:

Slippery Floor Potion: HAZARD! They better keep this potion on a very high shelf, if some Neopian unknowingly knocks this potion to the ground, who knows what kind of injuries they could have! It's a good thing the magic shop is so close to the hospital! It needs to be!

Tornado in a Bottle: This honestly sounds like something Dr. Sloth created to bring havoc to the different areas of Neopia! Why would you need a tornado in a bottle?? DO NOT under any circumstance open this bottle inside the shop! FOR THE LOVE OF GRUNDOS don't do it... you will definitely NOT be in Kreludor anymore... guaranteed!

As if these terrifying items weren't enough, I counted not one, not two, but SIX captured faeries! What has Neopia come to where you capture faeries and sell them?? It is a terrible crime! I had to spend a ridiculous amount of neopoints just to buy these pour faeries and bring them back to Faerieland where they belong!

It is not justified magic to capture creatures which would have probably helped you anyways if you brought them a Fiery Comb or a pair of Edible Argyle Socks first! Needless to say, Kauvara's Magic shop is more like a shop of horrors!

Neopian Post Office:

After the horrifying images witnessed in the magic shop, I was almost scared to venture next door to the post office, but worry not, because it is simply, as it reads, a post office. Magnificent stamps with an large spectrum of colour and images appear to you as you first step in and they are rarely, as I have witnessed, out of stock.

The only thing being wrongfully advertised is the actual price of the stamps! I understand that given the age of the shopkeeper, he is probably from a time wherein the stamps were indeed 5 NP instead of 821 NP (as this Island Native Stamp is marked) but why then not invest in a new printer?? I cannot count the number of times which I have gone into the post office with nothing more than 20 NP in my pocket and a carefully addressed neomail only to find that I actually need 800 NP more than what the stamp actually states! It's close to a Pant Devil robbery it is!

It's a good thing that the post office makes up for this false advertising with its excellent customer service and the fact that none of the stamps are pre-licked (gross).

NC Mall:

I do apologize, but I couldn't get into the NC Mall due to the unnecessarily long line that almost reaches to the Neopian Plaza...

The Neopian Pharmacy:

Nestled right in between the Magic(less) Shop and the Post Office is the Neopian Pharmacy where you can cure your pets of any illnesses they may have picked up throughout the day. Greeted by a lovely Nurse Elephante, in a clean, white uniform, it greatly reassures a pet and its' owner that they are definitely in good hands. The fact that there is rarely (if ever) a shortage on medicine at the pharmacy also assures owners that they always have access to a cure for their pet.

The only thing that may make a trip to the Pharmacy more reassuring is if they tried to not keep the injections next to the Herbal Drink, or any of the other food-like products... it's simply unsanitary and nobody wants their food tasting like an anti-body.

The Neopian Petpet Shop:

First of all, I feel the need to say that no petpets were harmed in the making of this shop, and that the petpets you see on the side of this mushroom tree are not actual petpets! (Phew!)

With that out of the way, the Neopian Petpet Shop is as clean as a shop selling petpets can be! The owner assured me that she indeed bathes the petpets daily and ensures that they are dried properly with super soft towels.

Petpet selection is quite limited in the shop however, so those wishing to buy a furry little friend for your pet make sure you get there early for the best selections!

Magical Bookshop (Not again):

Still recovering from my last "Magical" shop, I wandered into the bookshop not knowing what to expect. The owner was nowhere to be seen, but later found in the back corner reading one of the books he was intending to sell to you unsuspecting users! I don't know how many of you read books but as a frequent reader myself, I must admit that the ONLY one I want to crease my newly bought book, is ME!

The neurotic act aside, there was quite a large amount of books to choose from, and were impressively clean considering the fact that the shelves were larger than the shop itself! (I may be exaggerating a bit).

With this final thought aside, I conclude my look into the cleanliness of the Neopia Central Shops. For the most part, I would say that I am impressed with how they keep their shops (with the exception of Kauvara) and have no shame in telling you all that you may continue to shop and restock in a shop that is fit for a king!

(Well... maybe not fit for Hagan... or Skarl... maybe we'll just forget this point.)

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


An Empty Heart, A Lost Soul
"Come on, Rosie. You're next up on stage. You look perfect," the tall human girl said as she dragged me to the stage where I would be showing off for the Beauty Contest.

by allison_kitty11


Tales from Neopia Central: Part Four
Her staff knew all too well to leave her alone when she was in such a mood, so her butler Carson was a rare sight when he entered her study to deliver a letter.

by herdygerdy


Tales of a Sponge Aisha
Being a sponge isn't always easy.

by vogelbird


A Celebration of Intelligence
It's Brightvale Day. The time when the inhabitants of Brightvale get to have fun and celebrate.

by jamespongebob

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.