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It's Kind Of A Smelly Story


by flyingape

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They say that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Sometimes I wonder if they've ever been to Meridell and seen the Rubbish Dump. Miles and miles of discarded Usuki Dolls, bottles of sand, soggy shoes, Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly, last year's Altador Cup's banners, and dung scatter as far as the eye can see. No treasure to be found here. Of course, unless you're into Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly. If that's your thing, then head on down. But most people aren't really fans.

     There's no questioning the fact that the Rubbish Dump oozes diseases like Sneezles, and the Shaky Flakys, as well. So, naturally, a vile creature like the Slorg would infest the trash heaps looking for 2/3 Bacon Omelettes to eat.

     Slorgs are interesting creatures, indeed. They smile this large toothless grin 24/7, and smell worse than a Skeith's feet after a long Battledome fight with Balthazar. Their beady black eyes sit on top of their heads. They even leave behind trails of some kind of slimy residue as they move. I'm pretty sure I've even heard a few of them screech before. These things are squirming nightmares! Not the prettiest of petpets, that's for sure.

     In Neopia, there are several different colors of Neopets, as I'm sure you know. Almost all of these colors are beautiful and sought after-- all but one. Mutant. Mutant pets are the Slorgs of the pet world. If a Slorg was a pet, it would be a mutant pet. And Slorgs would not make good pets. Therefore, mutant pets are commonly seen as undesirable.

     This brings us to the hero of our story, Balluna the Mutant Blumaroo. (That kind of just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) Anyway, Balluna was a hideous, scaly, smelly, Negg-eating Blumaroo. He didn't bathe much, and wasn't too fond of brushing his teeth, but Balluna had a big heart, and a particularly odd appetite.

     After a day's worth of hiking the trail between Brightvale and Meridell, and six days of boating from Mystery Island before that, Balluna finally reached his destination. He had a hankering for a (half) hearty serving of Poisonous Jelly, and was stopping at nothing to get it. He was headed to the Rubbish Dump.

     Balluna was bounding down the trail as quickly as he could. He knew the dump was close. He could smell it! Plus, his map showed that he would pass some berry fields, and he had just bounced past a seemingly endless field of berry plants and dung moments ago. As he bounced along the trail he saw something peeking over the hill in front of him.

     There it was. In all its smelly glory. The Rubbish Dump. The Trash Cache! The treasure trove of junk! The dream of every stinky pet and petpet in Neopia was right in front of his eyes. "What a day to be true!" Balluna exclaimed as he hastily hurried down the hill.

     As Balluna approached, a rather scruffy-looking blue Kacheek stepped in his way. He was wearing filthy overalls, carrying a pitchfork in one hand. There was dirt caked onto his cheeks, and a gold tooth sparkling in his mouth.

     "Where d'you thinks you be headin' to?" the Kacheek barked.

     "Just, uh, heading into the dump to pick up some Poisonous Jelly. Half-eaten, preferably," Balluna gulped.

     "Aye, in you go, then," he replied, waving Balluna along. "But no funny business!"

     Oh man, Balluna thought, I thought he was going to make me wait until he had some in stock or something, as he continued on through to the wondrous piles of smelly rubbish.

     Mountains of trash, rivaling the height of Terror Mountain itself, rose from the ground all around him. Garbage sat baking in the sun, and towers waved back and forth in the wind. (It's a mystery there hasn't been an avalanche, honestly.) Balluna bounced down the aisles searching for the jelly. He passed piles of unwanted TCG cards, Koi Plushies, and fruit. All of Neopia's trash gathered in one place.

     Wooden signs jabbed into trash pointed the way to different sections of the dump. Balluna passed sign after sign reading each as he passed: "Broken Plushies this way", "'Slightly-used' Battledome items this way", "Spoiled Neggs 50 paces north", "Yes Boy Ice-Cream T-shirts and CDs". The more he walked, the further away his destination seemed. The sun was starting to lower in the sky as the day ticked on. The sun beat down on his neck, and made sweat drip down past his ears. He began to question if his journey was worth it and if it would end with him eating that delicious jelly, until finally he stumbled upon a sign that read "Gross Jelly and Omelettes here".

     Balluna leapt in the air and bounced around on his tail in excitement. "FINALLY!" he exclaimed. It had been seven and a half days since he started his journey from his Neohome in Mystery Island.

     Now to find that Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly he'd been craving. Let's get to business, he thought as he began rigorously rummaging through the ratty pile of rubbish.

     "Glowing Jelly? No. Blueberry Jelly? Nope. Banana Jelly? Scrumptious, but no! Carnupepper Jelly? Ew! Cornapepper Jelly? Wait... what's the different? Anyway, NO!" he raved as he flung jelly in every direction.

     Then finally it came to him. From behind the trash heap two over, not Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly, but a common green Slorg emerged. Balluna, focused on his jelly search, didn't hear the slithering Petpet approaching until it was literally on top his head.

     "AHHEEYAAHAHAEEEEEEKEEAAAA! WHAT IS THIS? HELP! WHY IS IT ON MY HEAD? WHY IS IT WET? HELP ME!" Balluna screamed as he flailed and bounced around the piles of trash. In desperation, Balluna attempted run back to the entrance of the dump. Maybe he could have that blue Kacheek stab whatever this thing is with his pitchfork. But as Balluna began to run, he tripped over the Blueberry Jelly he had thrown moments ago.

     *SWOOSH* *PLOOP*

     "Whoa!"

     *SPLOOSH!* Liquefied rubbish splashed into the air, and up Balluna's nose.

     "Huh...? What...?" he said as he regained consciousness. He opened his eyes to find the Slorg sitting on his chest staring straight at him with those big beady eyes on top of its head. The Slorg was smiling from ear to ear... err... cheek to cheek.

     "Did you do this to me? Gee willickers, I just want some Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly..." Balluna moaned as he tried to get up. When Balluna had finally risen to his feet, the little Slorg had disappeared into the pile of jelly. "Really? You're going to leave me here now after all that?" he said, with a tone of defeat.

     3.7 seconds later, the Slorg emerged with none other than a smelly Half-eaten Poisonous Jelly. It slithered over to Balluna, climbed up his tail, around his back and onto his shoulder, delivering the poisonous snack straight into his hand. "Wow! Thanks, little guy," Balluna said. "I guess you aren't half bad after all! I think I'll call you... Goops! Because of all that goop you made me fall into!"

     Balluna took a big bite out of the jelly, and handed some to the Slorg. The two of them sat in a pile of Yes Boy Ice-Cream T-shirts and enjoyed the sunset, munching away happily.

     "This is the start of a great friendship, I think," Balluna said. Goops' smile grew twice as wide as he nodded in agreement. "Well, now that I've had my jelly, what should we do next?" Goops stared back still smiling.

     "I know what we'll do!" he exclaimed. "Have you ever been to Kreludor?!" Goops shook his head.

     "Then that's where we'll head!" Balluna shouted as he punched his fist into the air. "Maybe when we're there we can meet some weird alien like-creatures or something! Maybe we'll actually fit in up there! And what if they have their own trash dump? Boy, this could be really fun!"

     Balluna stood up, brushed some of the dried dung off his knees, picked up Goops, and headed for the exit of the dump.

     "Wait... how does one find their way to Kreludor?"

     The Slorg smiled and stared blankly. "Well, I guess we'll figure that out." Balluna said, and then continued walking.

     The moral of the story, kids, is... well... don't judge a book by its cover, no matter how smelly or scaly or scary or slimy it may be, because in the end, it just wants to share the jelly with you! Or something like that. I'm actually not quite sure.

The End

Based on a true story. Slightly true. Mostly false. Their adventures may continue! ;) Thanks for reading :D

 
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