The Way to Be Grey
Grey Day: the saddest day in all of Neopia. A day set aside to honor the heartbroken, the lonely, and the pets that are, well, just Grey. Grey Day has been around for years and many use this day to respect the Grey Faerie, Baelia. For those who don't know about her, she was stripped of her powers and locked away by a Dark Faerie named Jennumara. She was later released by Tavi who was a mountain climber. Ever since, she's had to deal with her sadness and grief every single day of the year. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, she has to watch happy Neopians and their pets frolic around Neopia. Even when she is happy, nobody can tell because of her red, baggy eyes and weak body movements. To honor the Grey Faerie and all of the other pets like her, this is the perfect day to stay at home and mope. With all the tension and the dread in the air, it might be a little tough to cope with all of the sadness. That's where I come in. I'm here strictly to teach all of you young boys, girls, and Blumaroos to learn just how to be Grey. Let's get started.
Step One: Everyone has seen a Grey pet once in their life. Their sad eyes, the look of despair over their face. It all starts out with the frown. I bet you've all heard the saying "turn that frown upside down!". Well, you're going to do the exact opposite. Turn that smile upside down! Next, we're going to work on the eyes. Try to look a little distant at all times as if you aren't paying attention to anything and are in your own little world. Got it? Good! Now, simply add a slight furrow in your brows. If done right, you should look like a sad little Puppyblew. To make it absolutely believable, simple pop in a pair of Red Contacts and mess up your hair a bit. Make it look like you don't even care about how you look. Now that we have that settled, let's move on to the next step.
Step Two: A Grey pet isn't quite grey unless they have the colour right. It may take some practice to get this step right so pay close attention, young ones. You could be simple and paint yourself with a Grey Paint Brush, or you could go a step further and use spray paint. Just coat yourself with it. You must make sure to cover every part of your body with the pain, though. You don't want to see any colour peeking through your new skin. Make sure you get all of your hair covered or you could go buy a nice wig from the NC Mall. If you don't think this does justice, try adding a second coat to make sure that you covered everything. After you have all the colour on, you could also add a nice top coat to add a magnificent shine. They also make matte top coats, however, which will make you seem a lot more bland and mopey.
Step Three: Now that you have the colour, it's time to work on posture and your clothing that you wear today. Posture is important for this day. Although you may feel confident, you mustn't show it. On this day, you should slouch. Show your hunchback side. It helps to trudge instead of walk today. Walking briskly, skipping, even running aren't advised. Try to make it look as if you are limp all day. Weak body movements will make it way more believable. As for clothes, bright colours are a no-no. It's all about monochrome today. You can look snazzy even without having bright colours. Spruce things up a bit with a nice black fedora or add a bow tie to your outfit. Bow ties are cool. Now that we've covered the look, it's time for your attitude.
Step Four: It always helps to whine about your life. Some simple things to do are "I went to Mystery Island and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" or "Why don't you paint me Grey if you're just going to leave me like this?" This is a simple way to make you seem a lot less enthusiastic about the day. Whine and moan as much as you can. Sometimes, just add a little sign every so often. Grumbling is always a plus. In my studies, I found that the whine is actually the most important. You have to get the perfect pitch or else you'll seem like a fake. Go and study some Grey pets on your own to find out the perfect pitch for you. Now that we have that taken care of, we're onto the final step!
Step Five: A perfect place to be on such an occasion is in a dark room on a rainy day. Cuddled up with your petpet with a hot cup of Borovan will make this day seem way more dreary. Hey, read a book while you're at it. Stare at the rain for a while. But whatever you do, do NOT do anything that will make you happy. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but after all it is Grey Day. That means no Gormball, no dressing up, and you might as well forget about going out to the NC Mall today. If any friends call you or sent you some Neomail, simply tell them that you are too busy or better yet, just ignore them! Now that we have covered everything, I think you are ready for a day of tears.
Congratulations! You have successfully learned about the perfect way to act Grey on Grey Day and you've learned a little bit about Baelia. Of course, you could always just paint yourself grey using a paint brush. Hey, you could even get a lucky zap from that crazy scientist at the Secret Laboratory. Either way, you are ready for a day of Grey!