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Lord Darigan's Letter To The Editor


by heathorn

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To Whom It May Concern over at Neopian Headquarters:

     I understand that I don't leave my chambers very often. I also confess that I am guilty of not being very welcoming to those who visit my citadel. Please consider, though, that Lord Kass's treachery has left me somewhat untrusting, and I am easily mistaken for someone equally as wicked as he. Of course, I do not intend for the general Neopian population to ever see the Fluffy Cybunny Slippers I wear whilst traipsing about in my private quarters. I do have a reputation to uphold, hence the main reason for my overall grouchiness.

     Anyway, I am writing to you today to post a question to the individual responsible for constructing the Neopian Calendar and filling it with events and days to celebrate. I see that on the 30th of July, you have the Discovery of Meridell and I am rather insulted that nowhere on the calendar is there a day to honor and appreciate the existence of all things Darigan. I mean, what is wrong with this picture? You have a Sloth Appreciation Day, for Fyora's sake! Dr. Frank Sloth, who experiments on innocent little Neopets and concocts potions that transform them into ugly mutants! Also the same Dr. Sloth who hijacks the news page and keeps Grundos as slaves.

     Fear not, though, for I have a proposal that I hope you will take the time to consider and forward to the appropriate department. My minions and I have been hard at work coming up with potential things to introduce via the news page on a day of your choosing. Yes, I will allow you to choose; I understand you have other silly events to remember and scheduling seems to be your forte.

     For starters, on DARIGAN APPRECIATION DAY, (has a nice ring to it, does it not?) there will be the release of a nifty avatar, of course, for those who want desperately to add another to their growing collections. I will be nice enough to award it to those who visit me in my chambers to pay their respects to me – the Citadel's one and only true leader. It is the least I could do, especially on a day that is reserved for those who choose to recognize the marvelous things that the Darigan Citadel has to offer. To further reinforce the importance of Darigan Appreciation Day, the avatar would only be available on this special day. Psst – if you wanted to make it really interesting and annoy a lot of people on the Avatar Collector Neoboards, you could always make it a more challenging avatar to get and make it only obtainable by those who own Darigan pets. I'm sure Queen Fyora would appreciate the rapid purchases of the paint brushes from her Hidden Tower. Besides, you didn't want to release another insanely easy clickable avatar, did you? Heh, heh.

     A new species of Petpet has been spotted on the grounds and I have affectionately been referring to it as a Nagirad. The name seemed rather fitting, as it is a deep purple, winged creature with red eyes and sharp teeth. The Nagirad would only be the first in a long line of Petpets available through the Darigan Petpets shop, which will appear on the Citadel's map page. Or, you could skillfully use the 'Minions of Darigan' shop that is already there. I mean, if Neopians wish to see what their favorite species would look like in Darigan colors, they could always just go to the Rainbow Pool. Most all of your other Neopian lands have their own Petpet shops. I feel that there should be one in my Citadel, and when would be a better time to have our grand opening than on Darigan Appreciation Day?

     A recipe for a Darigan Krawk Morphing Potion has anonymously been neomailed to the famous Kauvara. Hopefully she will not spend too much time trying to track down the sender. I did tell Master Vex to make sure to block his IP address. Anyways, I have every faith in Kauvara's abilities and am confident that she should be able to master the mixture in time to release a few of these awesome-looking purple spiked bottles in time to commemorate this glorious day!

     Ah, the day wouldn't be complete without some wearables. The 'I Love Lord Darigan' tee-shirt and matching trousers would look fantastic on any species of Neopet, regardless of color. Also being worked on in the sewing room is a Darigan Ballroom Gown, a lovely ruby red colored dress with purple accents that you can perhaps sell in the NC Mall. After all, there seems to be a fair amount of NC items released whenever a theme day rolls around...

     Darigan Toys is awaiting shipment of new action figures, plushies and clockwork wonders for young Neopets to enjoy. I've thoughtfully asked the manufacturers to ensure that the spikes are filed down so that babies won't be harmed. I have also been told that a limited number of Magical Darigan Lutari Plushies have been spotted in one of the boxes. I can't say there will be too many of those, though – Plushie Tycoon hasn't been doing very well in recent months.

     Some brand-new Darigan foods have been prepared by my personal kitchen staff and samples have been sent to Neopian Headquarters in a large purple box tied shut with a red ribbon. If you have not received the samples yet, kindly let me know and I will severely reprimand the Nagirad responsible for botching up the delivery. A side note about these new petpets - they are somewhat cute in a Darigan sort of way, but do not have a very acute sense of direction. Anyway, the delectable 'Darigan Day Cake' is a three-layer delicacy, separated by a generous heap of raspberry cream. It is frosted with grape-flavored fondant and is sure to please taste buds across Neopia. A slice of the Darigan Pizza has also been sent with the cake in hopes of reaching you. I must warn you, though, the pizza has spikes and may be best to just admire and declared non-edible. Something that looks that wonderful shouldn't be eaten, anyway.

     As there is allegedly only one Darigan Sword of Death in existence and many Neopians have expressed a need or desire to own my weapon of choice, a three-pronged replica has been constructed by some of my faithful followers. To celebrate the appointing of Darigan Appreciation Day, I hereby propose there be a brand-new daily event. I will grant Neopians one visit into my chambers per day. If I deem them worthy, I will award them one such replica. If I don't like them, though, I will banish them into the dungeons where the esteemed Master Vex will insist on a match of Cellblock...

     In closing, let me just say that I certainly hope I have given you something to think about. I assure you, many Neopians will be very happy to see a day especially devoted to me. I am, after all, a very prominent and important character in Neopia and I hope you will see that I am deserving of such a day. I can be reached by neomail and will be in my chambers, awaiting a response from you.

     Very truly yours,

     Lord Darigan

 
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