Becoming a Gentleman - a Guide by a Fine Bachelor
My golden pocket clock informs me about the time; it's just 10:37 pm, and if you are wondering what a green Gelert in a tuxedo and a bowtie is doing in the streets of Neopia at night - well, I am invited to the fancy ball of Countess Ursula. As one of the greatest descendants of the mighty Usuls, the Countess should surely know what she's doing.
I had mixed thoughts on whether to go or not; the Countess doesn't like me that much after all - but who wouldn't want someone like me in their party - for I am a suited up bachelor, famous enough to be called one of the greatest and most appreciated people in our city, Neopia; I am the executive editor of The Neopian Times. Along with anyone else that would wish for their event to be published in my weekly newspaper, the Countess invited me as one of her honoured guests to interview her acquaintances. After a lot of thinking, I decided to go.
I took my torn up blog and newly bought quill and I'm on my way to the Usul Mansion. When I finally arrive, I open the big double doors that led me to the mansion and sit alone on what seemed to be like an expensive antique; a chair customized with gold embroidery and ivory details. I am supposed to interview the Countess's guests but instead, I sat down and observed the party's bachelors. I had to think whether I wanted to interview all of them - but I then decided not to. I had a better idea - I thought to myself; what would a great way to increase my teen readers be? And then I found my answer: making a column based on style; and since I attended five sets of 1-month seminars based on looks and style making, I am the perfect person for this.
So, after a lot of notes I took based on the guests' garments and accessories, I, a fine gentleman of the Gelert species, am here to reveal five of my easy "How to be a Gentleman (for Dummies) " steps. So, please, do take notes.
1) Wear a tie: In my "How to become a Gentleman" guide, wearing a tie will always be my number one. Besides, all of us can wear a tie. The trick is the process of doing the knot; After all, the way you do your tie knot reveals a lot about you. For example, the duke of Tyrannia - his knot seems really messy and done in a hurry - that tells me he does not care about his image and he just wants to get this party done so he can go play Poker Table with the Duke of Altador (please, both of them are well known gamblers!). The latter, though, has a carefully knotted tie with not one single wrinkle on it. That could be translated into "I really want to leave a good impression on the Countess as it will surely have a positive impact on my social image".
2) Use a monocle: What's a better way to becoming (or just looking like) a gentleman than using a Monocle? An expensive glass monocle - not only does it make you look sophisticated, but it is also the perfect way to ensure your perfect vision; you don't want to miss out on those small letters far away in the Royal Ball now, do you? There is one citizen that can tell you everything about it: Count of Terror Mountain, Bruce IV. Ever since he started noticing problems on his left eye, he decided to start using the method of the monocle - not only did he stop having a blurry vision, but he got high into my "Hall of Style" too (keep it a secret, but he still hasn't reached my number one).
3) Always wear a tuxedo: Whether you're visiting Qasalan Delights or the Hidden Tower, you must always suit up. A fine gentleman wouldn't be caught outside in his gym pants, right? Duke of Shenkuu can tell you all about this - I once ran across him while I was on my way to the Shenkuu lunar temple (my good friend, the Wise old Gnorbu, called me to solve a lunar problem for him). And of course, guess what the Duke was wearing; a newly bought tuxedo with a simple black bow tie.
4) Never forget your expensive top hat: A top hat can help you in a lot of ways; first of all, and as this whole list is trying to teach you, it adds style. Then, with your top hat always on, you can have a nice excuse to use the famous phrase "I tip my hat for you", followed by the typical nod and bow. Count of Brightvale knows all about it. He never leaves his top hat, and he should surely be an example to all of you, gentlemen to be.
And last but not least (and by far the top one on how to become a true gentleman),
5) Grow a moustache! I am sure this does not need a big explanation. Answer this - what was one true gentleman that didn't have a moustache at some point? I know Lenny Chaplin (the famous Neopian comedian back from Y5) did. And we all loved him! So don't think for too long, a moustache not only adds you important bonus style points, but... Well, yes, the most important thing is that it does give you style. And if you do have one already, you're halfway there - on your way to becoming a true gentleman.
The guests helped me put my five easy tips together (and if you really are wondering how the party went, it was peaceful); follow them - you must, just remember one thing: you will never be a true gentleman if you don't grow a true gentleman moustache. So put those razors away and prepare, for in some time, you shall dine with the Gentlemen!