A Guide to Anti-Valentine's Day

Sure, it's all fine and dandy for all of those saps, but what if you're tired of going the traditional route for Valentine's Day? Perhaps you just hate the holiday? You may even be like me, and are allergic to pink (it's a serious condition). Whatever your reason for not wanting a chipper Valentine's Day, I have the solution for you. The answer? Anti-Valentine's Day. That's right, you heard me; Anti-Valentine's Day. What is Anti-Valentine's Day you may ask. Why, it's simple! It's the exact opposite of Valentine's Day! Instead of a day full of love, pink, and happiness, you simply change it to a day of doom and gloom. And black; lots and lots of black.

Anti-Valentine's isn't frilly or girly, and best of all, it's easy to accomplish! For those who need help planning the perfect Anti-Valentine's celebration, I've brought along Ghoullia, the queen of Anti-Valentine's Day. When it comes to all things dark and gloomy, Ghoullia is your Draik.

"Welcome, Ghoullia! Thank you very much for coming."

"No problem. I'm happy to help," she said and smiled.

"Okay let's begin. When did you start celebrating Anti-Valentine's Day?"

"I honestly don't remember. It was so long ago. Before I did though, I unfortunately celebrated a normal Valentine's Day." Ghoullia shuddered.

"Ugh, I'm sorry. Anyhow, what's your idea of the perfect Anti-Valentine's decorations? You can't host a party without the proper décor."

"To begin, remove anything pink or cute from the room. That's an excellent start. Next, add a lot of red and black. Those are your essential colours. Now you can go crazy. Add skull string lights, broken paper hearts, gothic floor candles, scary plushies, spyder webs, whatever your heart desires as long as it's not perky. Flowers are also wonderful! Black roses and lilies are perfect as they are not too girly, but they still add a lovely touch."

"Excellent choices! Now let's move onto entertainment."

"I have found that a good poetry reading is always the best form of entertainment for my guests. No sappy poetry of course. I use Poems to Rot Your Heart, Ukali Poetry, and sometimes even Worst. Poetry. Ever. My good friend, Cener, recommended Emo Poetry, another excellent choice. I even let my guests share their own personal poems that they've written."

"Very cool! Sounds like an awesome idea. What about tunes? You can't have a good celebration without music."

"That's so simple! Either go with some gothic piano music, or pick up the latest Twisted Roses album. You cannot go wrong with the Twisted Roses," she said. I made a mental note to see them in Tyrannia one day.

"Now for food. There has to be food, right? Especially dessert," I asked. I cannot go without sugar. It's a staple.

"That's the fun part! There are so many choices! For your main meal I recommend something like Skull-n-bones Pasta, Skull Stew, or even Grey Hot Dogs. For dessert, I like to go to the Chocolate Factory. They have a lovely collection of sugar skulls hidden amongst their frilly treats, so keep a sharp eye out. Or, you could even go over the the Spooky Food Shop and order a Cobweb Cake."

I wiped a bit of drool from my mouth. "Sorry about that. Moving on now! Let's talk about concerns that all of Neopia's most fashionable have; what do you wear to an Anti-Valentine's Celebration party?"

Ghoullia thought for a moment. "Let's start by helping the girls. For all of the lovely ladies of Neopia, I suggest you go with a gown, preferably black or red, but violet is also acceptable. The Neocash Mall and Uni's Clothing always have a wonderful selection of delightfully dreary clothes. Whatever you do, don't forget to accessorize. For the gentlemen, I suggest the same colour choices, but something edgier. A buckle shirt or a black jacket are wonderful choices. Both guys and girls can accessorize with different types of wings as well."

I looked at Ghoullia's outfit and wondered how much she spent at the Neocash Mall. "What about makeup?" I apologize to all of the guys reading this article.

Ghoullia snorted. "Such an easy question. The first thing you need to start with is eye liner, lots and lots of eye liner. Next, make sure you have a pale complexion. Nothing says 'Anti-Valentine's Day' quite like paleness. Finally, add the final touches with a dab of black eye shadow, and black lipstick."

"Hmm... I will keep that in mind. Now, who should you invite to an Anti-Valentine's celebration party?"

"Well, anyone you want, really, but preferably one who does not enjoy the regular version of Valentine's Day. Or, bring your friends who usually celebrate a regular Valentine's Day. Perhaps they will switch to Anti-Valentine's after that."

"Now for the final question. What are the best Anti-Valentine's gift choices for your neofriends?" I needed to get my friends a gift.

Ghoullia grinned and said, "Well, you can go a more traditional route, and send your best neo buddy a bouquet of black roses and a box of skull truffles, but hey, Anti-Valentine's Day is all about breaking tradition. You could send your friend some gothic-y makeup, clothes, or jewelry. Other great choices are little trinkets such as black nail varnish, a gothic compact, spooky skull perfume, or even a gothic plushie, for just the right amount of cute. Some Neopians like to go with the homemade route. After all, just because you don't celebrate in the most cheerful manner doesn't mean you don't care. Show your friends how much they mean to you by sending them a homemade card or piece of jewelry. In the end, they will appreciate the gesture."

"I will definitely be following your suggestions this year, Ghoullia. Thank you so much for allowing me to interview you!"

"No problem," she replied. "I enjoyed it." With that, she left the room.

Well, fellow Neopians, now you have all of the tips you need to create your own Anti-Valentine's Day celebration. So go grab your eye liner and parasol and start planning your party. Have a wonderful Anti-Valentine's Day!