A Month in the Pound - A Neopet's Interview
Hello! My name is Maureen George, and I have been asked by my owner to write an article for the Neopian Times. I was going to grace you all with a book review of the most recent one I read, but my owner told me that Algebra for Beginners was probably not going to grab the interests of the endless NT readers. So instead I decided on an interview with a Neopet and ask about their experiences in the famous Neopian Pound.
My sister's name is Dorothie. She's a Kacheek who was created by my owner, and for reasons that my owner tells me were purely for business reasons and had something to do with having to take in another pet temporarily during an 'Underground Meepit Revolution' or something (I've never heard of such a thing, have you?), Dorothie was sent to the Pound.
Then, according to my owner, when the Meepits on either side had finally made peace via sprinkled doughnut offerings, he retrieved Dorothie from the Pound, because during the month she had spent in the Pound, no one had adopted her into their homes, probably due to her magical 'highest-pitch whining' ability (an ability not given by faeries, but self taught).
Anyway, I decided I would take advantage of this unfortunate event and conduct an interview on her time in the Pound. And let me assure you, an interview with Dorothie isn't an easy process.
Me: So Dorothie, how are you today?
Dorothie: well, just between you and me, I'm actually feeling a bit gassy at the moment, but don't tell anyone.
Me: ...uh... Dorothie. You do realise I'm recording all this to write down later, right?
Dorothie: Really? Why do you need to write all this stuff down for?
Me: Um, because this is an interview? For the Neopian Times?
Dorothie: Oh really? But why would the Neopets reading this want to know whether I'm gassy or not?
Me: What!?! No, they don't. They-
Dorothie: Then why did you ask me?
Me: I didn't! I was just trying to break the ice by asking how you were.
Dorothie: I'm fine, thanks, and yourself?
Me: Um, I'm good?
Dorothie: Interesting, and what is this interview about?
Me: Well, I was going to ask you about your experience in the Pound.
Dorothie: OK, and why do you think this topic would interest the Neopian public?
Me: Um, because of the many Neopians who may question the living conditions in the Neopian Pound that adopted neopets are going through?
Dorothie: I see, and what would you say was your favourite color?
Me: Well, I was reading this book recently called Green! and it- WAIT! I'm the one who is meant to asking questions, not you.
Dorothie: But you said that I was going to be writing for the Neopian Times about whether petpets are actually going to take over the world or not, wasn't I?
It was at this point I banged my head against the table we were sitting at. No amount of reading and studying books on Kacheeks could prepare me for this interview with Dorothie. At this rate I was going to get nothing. But my owner asked me for an article and I was determined to get him one.
It took about an hour of thorough promises of visits to the Chocolate Factory, as well as relocating to a room that didn't have any windows pointing towards ANY shop sale signs, until I FINALLY got her to sit down and properly start the interview.
Me: So, Dorothie. When you were first placed into the Pound, how did you feel?
Dorothie: Um, when was I placed in the Pound?
Me: Remember that time during the Month of Hiding when you thought you were on Holiday at the Neolodge?
Dorothie: No, silly! I was invited by the managers of the Annual Usuki Doll Convention to assist in their fashion designs for the Usuki models. Duh!
Me: Um, yeah. That was actually the Pound.
Dorothie: Really? They hosted the UsukiCon at the Pound? That's cool but unusual...
Me: What? Don't you... I mean, yes! That's right! They hosted the UsukiCon at the Pound this year! *terrible poker face* Um, anyway? How did you find the Pound?
Dorothie: The Pound isn't difficult to find, Maureen! You just have to turn left at-
Me: I meant the living conditions. What was it like living in the Pound?
Dorothie: Well, between Gourmet Meals and the back massages, I think the rooms were too small for someone like me. I'm sure Skeiths and Grarrls would find it hard to fit in.
Me: Well, I guess they would be, consider how many Neopets are- wait, WHAT? Gourmet Meals? back massages!?! They have those in the Pound?
Dorothie: Well, duh! Of course they do! As if they're going to let abandoned Neopets feel like they're locked away in prison or something!
Me: Really? So what you're saying is that despite popular belief, the Pound isn't actually a terrible place!
Dorothie: I still think the rooms were too small, especially when I was expected to create fashionable masterpieces for all those Usukis!
Me: Um, right... Alright, next question. what are your thoughts on Dr. Death, the Techo who runs the place?
Dorothie: Oh, him! He wasn't bad. He gave me cookies once. They were delicious!
Me: ...Um... okay... so you're saying that he isn't as bad as everyone says he is?
Dorothie: People say he's bad? Why? Oh, wait did he try pick his nose again? I thoroughly explained to him to stop doing that! Some Neopets just never learn...
Me: ...Right... Anyway let's sum up.
Dorothie: Okay, one plus one is four, two plus two is potato...
Me: *sigh* Do you want to go to the Chocolate Factory like I promised.
Dorothie: YAY!!! I heard that they're having a discount of scarves this year!
Me: Scarves? At the Chocolate Factory? Whatever...
So to translate what this interview has said, despite the fact it seems that my sister may need a visit the doctor (somehow), this is actually Dorothie being Dorothie. So what I'm saying is that even after a month spent in the Neopian Pound, Dorothie hasn't been harmed in any way at all, and by the sounds of things, the Pound was actually a pleasant experience for her.
So if you are concerned for those Neopets in the Neopian Pound, or maybe you are concerned about what will happen to those pets you have abandoned, don't worry about. The Pound is actually a good cause for giving abandoned pets a temporary home until they are found a new home to go to.
And apparently they get cookies.