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Books You Should Never Let Your Siblings Read


by msdelirium

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An older brother who enjoys beating you up? A little sister who thinks she is royalty and demands to be treated as such or else she throws a tantrum? Do you have an annoying little brother who just won't be quiet? Or perhaps that scary older sister who you just know is out to get you and take the bigger bedroom? If so, it is important that you read this! If you ever see the following books anywhere near your siblings, you must decide quickly.
  • Should you run away to Mystery Island and never return?
  • Should you burn the book and try to blame it on the petpets?
  • Or will you perhaps just endure the torment that is sure to follow?

Warning: The following books do exist, and were probably made specifically to torture you in general. Keep any siblings away from these titles or else you will suffer.

1. 101 Ways to Annoy a Uni: The book title alone is one of the ways. This was given out by the Advent Calendar in y12.

Starting off with the less chilling titles, yet equally agitating, is this selection. If you are a Uni, yes, I am sorry to say, but TNT probably read your diary and is sitting back giggling every time a young neopet purchases this book. Thanks, Advent Calendar...

2. Annoying Chias: Fun and inventive ways for you to annoy Chias.

Very similar to 101 Ways to Annoy a Uni, but this time directed towards Chias! Isn't it enough that Chias have to put up with Lupes? Don't they suffer enough already?

3. Arr through Yarr: Is it pronounced arrrr or ahrrr?

Sit back for a moment and pretend you are enjoying a nice quiet game of Spell Seeker. Now imagine you are about to beat your high score, but there are curses about to ruin your entire game. Focus now... ARRRRRR! Your little brother runs into the room screaming pirate phrases you don't know and don't care to know. You look at your game and it's over. In the commotion you hit a wrong button and a curse made it to the end! Now as you sit there, all you can think about is how thanks to that book for the rest of your life all you will hear is Arrr! Yarrr! and other phrases that are just so annoying it makes you want to cry.

4. Being a Princess: From a small child she had longed to be a princess, and one day, her wish came true...

Aren't little sisters annoying enough without this book? Imagine a sugar crazed little girl running around the room declaring that she is, was, and always will be a true princess? What about the demands for the royal treatment? Or worse yet, when she decides that you are to be her servant and screams until she gets her way? Could this be a royal pain in the making? I think so.

5. Book of Chemical Reactions: Learn about harmless, and not-so-harmless chemical reactions with this hand book. Safety goggles not included.

Is the book summary not enough? Think of the horror a small child or even an older sibling could cause if this book were to come into their possession! Chemical burn toothpaste, acid shampoo, sleeping gas in your closet... Not to mention the damage done to your neohome. The repair costs alone would guarantee you will not be seeing that new petpet or that shiny new toy anytime soon.

6. How to be Roothless: Learn from the Master if you want to be like Roothless!

Now think about this one; if your older brother beats you up already, just imagine what pain he would cause after reading this book. Mercy? Forget it; that will be a thing of the past. (Assuming there is currently any.) This book is enough to eliminate any effect those puppy dog eyes and pathetic whimpers may or may not have.

7. Vicious Attack Book: Heeeeya!

Another book to keep away from that bullying sibling would be this book. All those innocent childhood rough housing games are out the window. Once your siblings start studying this book, you can guarantee that it isn't Punchbag Bob that they will be testing their new moves out on. Why would they when they know they have a sibling who is much more entertaining?

8. Dark Faerie Magic: This time contains many spells that the ancient dark faeries used to use.

This one should be obvious. Your older sister already dresses oddly; the black makeup is hopefully a phase, or so your mom says. Then one day you see her reading this book and you know for a fact this will not end well for you. Perhaps you should have let her have that last cookie she wanted so badly last week? Or maybe you shouldn't have read her diary. Either way, if she has this book, it might be too late to apologize.

9. Evil Spells: Some pretty fun hexes that would come in handy if only they worked... like turning your little brother into a Mortog!

Okay, so we all know Mortogs explode with a kiss, and it might be common knowledge that your sister found out who has a crush on you right before Valentine's Day. How bad can it really be? Well, if she has this book... It could be pretty bad. But on the bright side, the rest of Neopia should be safe.

10. Grave Digging Manual: In case you ever need to know how to dig a grave.

Long story short; if your sibling has this book, you have probably done something horrible to them. Perhaps you yourself read one of the above books? Maybe you swapped that healing potion with a transmogrification one and forgot to mention it until after your beauty contest winning sibling drank it? Or perhaps you just happen to be the family favorite and they are tired of you getting all of the attention? Whatever the case may be, you should probably be concerned if you catch this in your sibling's room; in fact, a long vacation may be in order...

 
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