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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Sandwich Edition


by poogleluver345

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So there's the good, the bad, and the ugly, right? Well, guess what? Neopian sandwiches are no different! Today we will be looking at thirty (yes, THIRTY!) different sandwiches, divided into three categories. The first category? The good. The second category? The bad. The third category? *drumroll* The UGLY. After reading this article, you'll know just what to order for lunch! Let's begin.

First Up: The Good.

You want healthy? You want delicious? You want attractive? You've come to the right place. Vegetarians and meat-lovers alike, in fact anybody who loves a good sandwich, this section is just for you.

1) Xweetok Bologna Sandwich

Don't worry, this isn't an actual Xweetok, but if you love Xwees, you'll probably love this sandwich as well. Between two slices of Xweetok-shaped whole grain bread, you'll find fresh bologna, cheese, and lettuce. Standard, but scrumptious!

2) BLT Sandwich with Cheese

I wouldn't suggest this sandwich if you're a herbivore. Topped with a layer or two of the juiciest bacon on the market, this classic is sure to satisfy your growling stomach. Now with swiss cheese! Who could resist?

3) Grilled Chicken Sandwich

Take the best poultry of all time and serve it on a bun! Add some veggies if you like! Either way, you'll come back to this fan favorite again and again.

4) Kiwi and Cucumber Sandwich

It's fruit and veggie time! Vegetarians, you'll love this one. Meat-lovers, too. You may think kiwis are no good on white bread, but that's just because you haven't tried it yet! Only good things lie in this sandwich.

5) Mega Sandwich

Seems a rather plebeian choice, but believe it or not, this is only one of the finest gourmet foods! It's perfect for sandwich eating contests, too! Big appetites only.

6) Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

Mmm, my favorite! Seems gross? No way! Why would it be in the good section if it was gross? Anyhow, this sandwich is easy to make and perfect to make for the kids when babysitting. It's healthy and delicious, and it will fill you right up!

7) Vegetable Quiggle Sandwich

Surely a deluxe sandwich for veggie-lovers! So many vegetables I can't even count them! There's cheese inside, too, so if you're a vegan, you may want to steer clear.

8) Wheaty Kyrii Sandwich

If you're looking for a more healthy approach, try this one. It includes the standard meat, lettuce, and cheese, but a much healthier type of bread! Simply amazing!

9) Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwich

Now don't give me that look; surely you were expecting me to include this one! Of course I am. PB&J is a classic and never ceases to delight the taste buds! They ate these in the stone age. Don't believe me? Ask the Beast of Tyrannia. Yeah, I thought so. Here, try one—on me!

10) Extra Meaty Sandwich

Meat, meat, meat! Obviously, meat-lovers only. These sandwiches are for those body-building Grarrls out there! There's not much to say about this one, except that it's rather messy and requires a bottomless stomach and a tolerance for grease.

Second Stop: The Bad.

You want disgusting? You want unhealthy? Look no further! This section contains ten greasy, gritty, runny, mealy, and just plain nasty sandwiches. Recommended for Meepits, the Pant Devil, Jhudora, and those weirdoes out there who have no taste in sandwiches.

1) Gruel Sandwich

Looks like something King Skarl would award you, eh? Yeah, I wouldn't touch this one. You'll recognize it by its runny filling and stinky stench. When touched, it is sticky as snot. If you get it on your clothes, that shirt is going bye-bye. No washing machine can get rid of the gruel.

2) Wormy Jam Sandwich

Who wants worms in their sandwich? *silence* Um, yeah, I don't blame you. I know, I know, this sandwich looks tasty and all, but it's really disgusting. Sorry, Pteris.

3) Thistleberry Sandwich

Mmm! Who doesn't like berries? Looks delicious. Smells delicious. Now take a bite. Tastes deli—ouch! Too bad it's painful! It hurts even more when you pull those thistles out of your tongue. Bite this sandwich, and it will bite you back!

4) Wicked Wocky Wobble Sandwich

This one could very well be the most healthy sandwich in this article, but one bite and it'll collapse! And trust me, you don't want to be the one to clean it up...

5) Pant Devil Sandwich

Actually, this one probably tastes good. But don't go near it! THEY say it's cursed... wait, no! What are you doing? Don't! Touch! Th... *faints*

6) Mega Tuna Sandwich

Delicious? Ugh, no! Maybe for your Kadoatie! In fact, yeah—this makes an amazing treat for your Kadoatie. Or that crazy old cat lady who lives next door. Your choice, unless you're a mega (and I mean MEGA) fan of tuna.

7) Pink Triple Decker Sandwich

Seems like something evil lurks in this sandwich. It's simply too pink! But this might make a nice meal for a tea party... *evil girlish laughter*

8) Rambus Salad Sandwich

...What are we eating, anyway? O_o

9) Burnt Shadow Shoyru Grilled Sandwich

Yes, it's just some ordinary grilled cheese; only a little overdone. I'd either donate this to the Money Tree or pitch it altogether. Blech!

10) Caviar Sandwich

Yay, fish eggs! Caviar is supposed to be considered gourmet, but this sandwich is not even a gourmet food. Ha, ha... rich people. -_-

Third Time's The Charm: The Ugly.

Some of these sandwiches are delicious, some of these sandwiches are disgusting; but they all fall under the same category: UGLY!

1) Chocolate Sandwich

Beauty is only bread-deep, right? Right. That's the case with the Chocolate Sandwich—it looks like a huge, greasy sloppy Joe, but the filling is actually milk chocolate! You'd be a fool to turn it down. :)

2) Fishy Sandwich on a Stick

:/ I'm not a big fan of seafood, so I'll pass. However, if you're the kind of person who loves squids, shrimp, and such, you'll probably enjoy it.

3) Doughnutfruit Sandwich

The perfect treat for Hasees—and their owners! This sandwich makes a healthy, delicious afternoon snack. It won't fill you up, but it will give your mouth something to do!

4) Pizza Sandwich

This is actually pretty delicious, but it will get all over your clothes and the stains will never come out! Wear a bib while eating.

5) Spotted Chocolate Jetsam Sandwich

Eww, what IS that?

6) Spotted Cheese Sandwich

The cheese is good, but I recommend peeling the spots off. They're not as pleasing...

7) Sketch Sandwich

This sandwich will go right through you! Pun intended. Perfect if you're in a hurry. Or if you're a Sketch pet.

8) Jumbo Pea Sandwich

There's so many peas in this sandwich that the bread can hardly hold it all together! I'd dish a few peas out and feed it to my Puppyblew, or maybe split it with a friend.

9) Mega Manoroot Sandwich

What in the world is a manoroot? Oh well, I'm not sure I want to know. Yeah, I'm not eating this one.

10) Meepit Veggie Sandwich

Ugh, who wants a Meepit staring at them while they eat? Not me! Seriously, this sandwich is just CREEPY. I—ahh! *is handcuffed by Meepits and dragged off somewhere*

Hey, digital supervisor here. Uh, I'm afraid we're having some technical difficulties right now. But I can't get too far into it or the Meepits will take me as well. Let's just say you won't be seeing poogleluver345 again for a while... heh. Sorry. Classified information.

 
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