Why I Cry, by Loki
Many people wonder why Kadoaties cry so much, so often. Well... I can't speak for all Kadoaties, but I can give you my reasons. Take a seat over there, near the recently fed Kadoaties, but watch out for the pets going in and out carrying food. They're always in such a hurry that they never watch their step. Oh, you're also a feeder? Ah, I see, a first-timer. I should have known – long-time feeders almost never stop to chat.
My name is Loki and I'm a blue Kadoatie. I was born in a farm in Meridell – it was a nice place from what I remember, which isn't much because I was there only for a few days. Shortly after I was born - I was still a tiny thing - I was picked up by my first owner, Highness the Royalgirl Uni, and went to live with her in her five-story, marble-covered fancy house in Meridell. She never played or spent time with me - all she ever did was tell me to stand still, hold my head high and be "gorgeous". The most time she spent with me was brushing my fur – it took her hours and I hated every second. It made me so restless, which of course only made it take longer. I couldn't run in the house and I had to be maddeningly careful all the time lest I scratched her precious furniture. Once, in my sleep, I pulled a thread from a fluffy rug in the living room... I can still clearly hear the piercing shriek that woke me up, followed by the usual sermon:
"LOKI! You messy Kad! Look what you did to this darling! You're just no good, aren't you? You always have to go and ruin everything that's pretty."
As I grew up, I realized I was nothing more than a status symbol for her, a trophy to make the others jealous. She wanted me to do cute things to entertain her visitors. Well, I never did "cute". I wanted to roam, explore, play games and tricks, and even fight a little. She never let me, though, saying I had been too expensive to risk my getting hurt or lost. That's also why she never let me out of my leash when we went out - I saw all the other petpets running around free and happy while I was chained so I wouldn't be stolen. The saddest thing is that it was true. Once I managed to get out of my leash and out in the park: suddenly there were so many pets around me, trying to grab me, shouting. I was terrified, but my owner retrieved me. She was very mad, madder than ever before, and soon afterwards she handed me to my second owner, Eddie.
It was a long trip to his house in Tyrannia, and it seemed even longer because I was very excited and anxious to see my new home. You see, back then, despite my first experience, I hadn't become jaded yet. I know it's hard to believe, but I haven't always been this melancholic Kad – during that trip I did think my life was about to take a turn for the better. Unfortunately, it wasn't so.
Eddie was a Tyrannian Blumaroo who was very, very serious. He wasn't mean to me, but he wasn't into playing with his petpets. He was always working, as a tailor, and the little time I spent with him consisted in helping him with work. I wasn't very good at it, though. He used to patiently but sternly tell me I would learn if only I could focus for longer. I guess the truth is that I wasn't very interested in the first place. Anyway, the rest of the time I was left unattended in the yard with his other petpets. Now that probably sounds great, right? Spending your time unleashed in a yard isn't roaming freedom but beats being kept chained or on a pedestal in a palace full of rules. I wasn't alone, though. He had five more petpets there, and they instantly disliked me. They were used to a rougher treatment and environment than I, and they found me too fancy and snobbish. They picked on me constantly – especially about what they mockingly called my "soft, shining fur coat" and my difficulty to deal with Tyrannia's high temperatures. Most summer days I could only look while they played around the yard, because I didn't last five minutes outside of the little shadow I used as my hiding spot. Not that they would have played with me if I could stand the heat, anyway. Once Eddie finally noticed how badly I fit in, he decided to give me away.
Thankfully my new (and current) owner lives in Neopia Central, which is much cooler. She is called Lilyanna, she's a Plushie Wocky and she is not so bad. I mean, she doesn't police me that much, or keep mentioning my price. She's actually careless about status and I'm allowed all over her house, which is simple, a little rustic, but cozy. She's easy-going and doesn't have any mean petpets, which is certainly good for my peace of mind. The problem is that she is never around. She keeps going on these trips around Neopia and leaves me in the Kadoatery. Now that's an awful place, and let me tell you why. They keep you in these tiny cages alongside many other left-behind, crying Kadoaties. That would be noisy enough, right? But there are also hundreds and hundreds of pets elbowing each other for a chance to feed us. It's pure madness! That goes on 24/7 so it's really hard to catch any sleep. Plus, it's very depressing company, because every Kadoatie that's not currently going mad with crying has a heartbreaking story to tell. It's better to talk with feeders like you, but it's rare for them to pay us any attention if we're not asking for food. Oh, the next feeding time is coming up and you have to get ready? Okay, I'm finishing my tale – just give me a few more moments of your time, please.
Many Kadoaties cry because they're afraid of the dark, I'm sure you've heard that. It wasn't really my case at first, you know? Now, however, the darkness makes me cry because it reminds me of cages and loneliness, when all I've ever wanted was to be free and loved. To be honest, right now I'd settle for much less... I'd just like to leave. All this crying and chaos is so much worse than being with any of my owners. Yes, I mean it. At least it was quieter.
Now I'm here in this cage, alone among the feeding hands and crying Kads, and I wonder if my owner will ever come get me for a week or two. I've been here for so long this time... much longer than all the other times. You're sure she's coming back eventually? I'm not, I'm really not. I think I might be here forever this time... I wouldn't be the first, sadly.
Well, this is my story. I don't know what you think, but to me it sounds like I have some good enough reasons to cry. Yes, I understand, thank you for your time.
Search the Neopian Times
|Torch in the Darkness: Part Nine|
"I didn't create Val. I had always known him. We have always been contrasting where we placed our values and our dreams. If fortune had come over him instead of me, this would be a different world."
Art by ellbot1998