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The Anti Gifts


by schwarzernebel

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I stumbled over a few things in Neopia where my first thought was: ouch, I wouldn’t even give it to an enemy! After I thought about it a bit longer, I saw in every single one of these items a nice way to tell someone his little faults. I don’t want to say that anybody has to change, but sometimes there is a behaviour that’s just annoying at the moment.

So if you get one of these little “gifts” – you know what someone wants to tell you. ;)

Brain Candy Mix or: “Start thinking”

Do you know this? You meet someone, you talk a bit and all you say seems to be misunderstood. Not with bad intention, but your friend –or whoever- may be in a mood when he isn’t the cleverest one. And at this point, it’s nice to tell him that he should think a bit about what you say – so just give him these candies and I bet he WILL start thinking – about what you want to tell him with the candies.

Skunk Perfume or: “Take a bath”

Well, sometimes your opposite smells as if he didn’t wash himself for a long time. But sometimes it’s just because he stepped into a stinky mud hole or a mean swamp gas Kau has the wish to hug him for being a good friend. So don’t be rude and just give him this little flask – after he realizes what he holds in his hands, he’ll understand your intention. I hope for you.

Titanium Grave-Digging Spork or: “Go home”

Nja, it’s not a nice way to tell someone that you can’t stand him anymore for the moment, but... it’s an effective way, trust me. There are situations when also a friend can be really, really, really... annoying. Just hand him this spork and he will know what you want to say.

Screaming Tree or: “Be quiet”

Muah, I love this tree. And you will love it too, if you meet someone who talks and talks and talks... or who wants to show you his “talent” in singing and you just want him to be quiet. Give him this nice little tree and you won’t hear your opposite anymore; either your friend stops singing because he understand your hint, or the tree simply is louder.

Moldy Pancakes or: “Learn cooking”

There are moments when you want to say the truth, but on the other hand, you don’t want to be rude. Often this happens when you are invited to a dinner, for example, and your host serves you a meal with such a bad taste that you don’t find words for it. What to do now? Just give him moldy pancakes in return. I bet he’ll ask you if it really was so bad.

Defaced Portrait of Illusen or: “Use a mirror“

People sometimes look... hm, let’s not say ugly, but they have a talent to displace clothes or have eaten tomato sauce and don’t notice it’s all around their head. So here is the perfect “gift” for them to suggest that there is something wrong with their look.

Bleeding Heart or: “Be friendly”

You know situations when your opposite is rude and impolite? When your heart is bleeding because of his behaviour? Well, with this flower YOU can be polite and tell him on a nice way that he made something wrong. Perhaps he will understand it and start thinking before acting.

Stone Doll or “Show feelings”

Imagine it is your friend’s birthday and you hand him a really nice present. You know he will like it, but all you see is a poker face. Not a little bit of joy or something like this and you ask yourself why you thought about what to give him – when it seems as if it doesn’t matter if he gets something or not. For this situation you should have this doll to make a second present – perhaps he will understand.

Coffee of the Dead or: “Be active”

What to do when you are full of zest and have the feeling you could pull out trees and run around the world? Of course, ask a friend to do something together; for example, playing beach volleyball with some Myncies, diving in Kiko Lake or climbing Terror Mountain. But what if the friends you ask are lame and slow and behave as if they didn’t sleep for years? I guess this special coffee will solve your problems.

Theatre Curtains or: “Don’t lie to me“

You have the feeling your opposite isn’t honest to you? His words and his facial expression don’t fit together? Then tell him not to be an actor with these curtains and hope he will change his way of behaviour. If not, give him a Krawk Terror Mask, too and behaviour and expression will match together.

UFFH or: “Speak clearly“

Uffh, do you also hate it if you don’t understand what other people say? Not because you are too stupid to understand the content, but the words don’t come clearly to your ear. There are people who mumble as if it would be their content of life or just speak before their mouth is empty. Well, if they try to say “UFFH”, you WILL understand them.

Dr_Death or: “Go to the doctor”

Your friend looks ill? And he doesn’t want to go to the doctor? I guess it makes you mad to see how badly his pain is and how he suffers. Please show him this card and tell him how he will end when he visits THIS doctor! Because a doctor who almost lost his hope will take your hope as well, won’t he?

Pile of Dung or: “Empty your inbox”

Yes! My favourite of the unwritten rules in Neopia! Everybody should know this hint. If you want to send a neomail to someone and his inbox is fully overloaded – just send him a pile of dung. Many, many users know this, perhaps even you. Please don’t let this “tradition” become forgotten, because it’s a very simple way to tell someone to empty his inbox.

 
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