A Waffle Paradise Circulation: 185,375,380 Issue: 494 | 13th day of Hunting, Y13
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by amitybelle


Tyrannian Victory Day is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than to spend the day getting involved in activities with a Tyrannian theme? Tyrannia is not just a vast land of dry terrain and temperatures that will melt your Snow Neopets (it's wise to leave them at home); there are plenty of things to do and friendly locals to show you around. Let's get started!

Eat Tyrannian Food

You won't get much done on an empty stomach, so before anything else, let's take a look at Tyrannian cuisine. Many Tyrannian foods are less than desirable, for example, Gargaraptor Arms... personally, I'm not so keen on these. Not to worry, there are some yummy options that aren't some poor creature's appendage or so hard (rocks, anyone?) your teeth will break.


For the most important meal of the day, you can't go wrong with Eggs on Rock. You don't even need to bother with the frying pan - just pop the rocks outside and let the sun do the work for you!


As you're probably having far too much fun exploring Tyrannia at this point to take a break to eat, the bone in each Bronto Bite has been conveniently left for you to use as a handle. No sitting down or plate required!


Tyrannian Goulash is a delicious meat and vegetable stew which will please many Neopians. As it is served in a thick, hollowed rock, it will stay heated for quite some time. Sabre-Xs Egg Salad makes a fantastic side dish or tasty alternative to meat, and if you're still hungry, grab that rock from breakfast and pop your favourite veggies on it to create Stone Roasted Vegetables, yum!


Considering a large majority of Tyrannian cuisine is made up of various plants and unfortunate creatures, candies aren't exactly in abundance throughout the land. There are a few things to satisfy your sweet tooth, though. Chomby Head Cupcakes are delicious chocolate treats shaped to resemble the very Neopet they are named after, and for the health conscious, Plateau Berries can be eaten when the hard shell they grow in is cracked open.


Soft Tyrannian Cheese and Crackers will fill you up and keep you going between meals. The cheese isn't flavoured to emulate dung and the crackers won't chip your teeth; Tyrannians are quite the cheesemongers!

If you're on a tight budget, go to the Tyrannian Plateau and head towards the giant... you know what I'm about to say... OMELETTE! We all have hundreds if not thousands of these stashed away in our Safety Deposit Boxes (hope they're not going mouldy...) and there are actually some really neat flavours. Oh yes, there is a world beyond the Green Pepper Omelette! If you eat 1/3 for breakfast and 1/3 for lunch, there'll still be enough left for dinner! Hoorah!

*nibbles on a Chokato Omelette*

Visit the Concert Hall

We all love music, so why not treat yourself and your Neopets to a night out at the Concert Hall? There are many bands that perform each month, so you are sure to find one or two to suit your music tastes. Gruundo and Moehawk would be enjoyed by any rock enthusiast, and Jazzmosis (100 Neopoints if you can guess the kind of music they play!) stars a talented Elephante who needs no instrument; his trunk is his trumpet. You can buy tickets to a show at the Ticket Booth, conveniently located to the right of the Concert Hall.

Play a Game

Tyrannians love to play games just as much as modern-day Neopians, and they have come up with some very interesting ideas! As entertaining as they are, Flash games can also be profitable if you're good at them, so practice a few of the ones mentioned below and see how much NP you can make.

In the Jungle there are three Flash games. You may want to start with poor little Geoffrey - his neighbourhood is being overrun by mud-slinging Chia Bombers in Chia Bomber 2, and he needs your help to drive them away! Armed with a home made water-balloon gun, you'll be shooting your way through twelve levels to save the day. Once you've mastered this game, head over to one of Tyrannia's volcanoes to guide Glubgar through its depths, being careful not to let him burn himself. Tyrannian Mini Golf is far less strenuous; no one will get shot at or burned here! You can play a short 9 hole game or the complete 18 hole course.

The Plateau is home to a few Flash games as well, including the popular Destruct-O-Match III. If you're not familiar with the game, the objective here is to smash groups of colourful boulders until you have cleared the screen. If this doesn't sound like something you'd enjoy, give Pterattack a go instead. You'll be flying through the canyons of Tyrannia, but don't enjoy the view for too long - remember to take out any Grarrls or Pterodactyls you come across.

There are four additional Flash games which aren't featured on the Tyrannian maps as of yet, but are just as fun: Magma Blaster, Petpet Rescue, Ugga Smash and Ugga Drop.

Spin a Wheel

Most Neopian lands don't have a wheel for visitors to spin, isn't that sad? Of the few that do, they can only boast one. But not Tyrannia!

In the Jungle, you will find the Wheel of Mediocrity. Run by a Tyrannian Flotsam, he will not greet you with a smile nor will he ask you to "Step Right Up!" There are several things you could win (or lose...) from this wheel, but really, it's mediocre at best; it even states so in its name.

The Plateau is home to the Wheel of Monotony. This wheel is run by a Tyrannian Quiggle with a sour look on his face, but who could blame him? He will greet you with the offer of a chair and a cup of Rancid Dung Coffee, which I highly suggest you accept. Before you spin, check your calendar to ensure you have nothing else to do, as you could be waiting for the wheel to stop spinning for literally hours.

Explore the Lair of the Beast

To the East of the Tyrannian Plateau, there is a dark cave. Hidden from the sun, it's cold inside and there is no light. There are sharp, jagged rocks and abandoned webs hanging from the ceiling. Go on, take a peek inside... there's nothing scary there at all. That sound you hear, it's only dripping water. There is a withered rope hanging from the ceiling, perhaps you should climb it and see where it leads. Like I said, nothing to be afraid of.

*The author of this article was stupid enough to explore the Lair of the Beast and has not been seen or heard from since. If you plan to visit the Lair today and happen to come across them, do let me know... we're getting a bit worried. In the meantime, on their behalf, I wish you a happy Tyrannian Victory Day, Uggh-Ugga-Ugg to all!

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