Donations and Poverty: Why?
Hello, fellow Neopians! Welcome to this article. Actually, for a minute, forget about the article (but remember to remember it). Let’s talk about the Neopian economy. How does one earn neopoints in Neopia? There are games, dailies, restocking, Random Events, the Stock Market, winning contests, and trade.
Now let’s talk about generosity. What, really, in Neopia, is generosity? Selling at low prices? Treating pets and users well? Sending nice Neomails to NT writers (hint hint)?! Answer: all of them.
“Wait, what about DONATIONS?” you might be thinking. (You might also be thinking, “Loser”, but hey, don’t push.). “Donations are honest, noble and selfless!” Right?
Okay, we’re about to dive into a pretty cool lecture, so kick back in your bean bag chair, grab a Qasala Fountain Soda and a bucket of Fresh Popcorn, and get listening.
The essential idea of a donation is to help the poor of Neopia. But how does a Neopian become poor? Do they not earn, or do they lose money? To answer this question, let’s look at sources of wealth NOT existing in Neopia.
Honestly, this is a load of rubbish. How would one inherit money without breaking the rules? They couldn’t. So, in Neopia, there is no unfair system of inheritance, or any spoilt rich kids. Urgh.
Fair enough, there are shops and the Trading Post. However, no one owns any businesses or brands. Also, products from different companies will cost the same amount if they are of the same quality. See? Fair.
Stop yammering and complaining and criticizing over there. Yes, there is inflation, but the point is, no one earns from it. Therefore, the ‘poor become poorer; the rich become richer’ principle does not apply to honest, hard-working Neopians.
All Neopian lands are equal. None of them are ‘developing’ or ‘developed’. All countries, therefore, will have the same economy, and no one can complain.
The National Neopian Bank (NNB) is strong and safe. Your money, I assure you, will not disappear with the bank, simply because the bank will not disappear.
There you have it. All Neopians will earn money through hard work, perseverance, and investing in the NNB. What’s that? Oh, all right, all right, there are other ways to lose/gain money. I, the almighty Ingina, shall explain why they are INVALID.
Dailies, huh? Well, if you look closer, the chances of winning NP are more than those of losing NP. Why? In most dailies, instead of money, health or items are snatched away. Or nothing is decreased; you just don’t win. (Tombola, TMDBGPOP, the Faerie Crossword... )
Boochi will undo a costly paint job. The Pant Devil steals items. Other villains steal NP. But think about it. Baby is cutesy and, well, awesome. Expensive items can be stored in the Safety Deposit Box. Other villains don’t steal that much NP. The NNB keeps most of your NP safe. A lot of REs also hand out good stuff. Yay.
No matter how much you strategise, no matter how much you observe, a large portion of the Stock Market is luck. However, you can always go with safe amounts, wait it out, or whatever unique technique you have devised. Also, ‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket’. Yeah? Yeah?
Et voila. Now, the NNB has been mentioned a couple of times. Let’s expand, what do you say? No? Well, I’m going to expand anyway. Nyah nyah nyah.
The National Neopian keeps your money safe from... well, money-stealing things. It’s an excellent way of saving, and feeling guilty when spending large amounts of NP. In addition, you get interest on your NP. The higher the amount of money, the higher the interest rate. Depositing and withdrawing NP also gives this cool feeling of a professional bigshot-type. Oh yeah.
So where is this all leading? What does all this have to do with donations? Think about. I’ve listed a bunch of reasons for why neopoints are only gained through personal determination and hard work.
The point is, everyone can be rich if they try.
The point of that is, DONATIONS PROVIDE MONEY AND ITEMS TO LAZY FREELOADERS.
Oh wait, word limit. Alright then, following up on that point, I’ll explain about the Money Tree and Second-hand Shoppe. Why? They’re both conspiracies.
A few Neopians have already previously grasped the meaning; the message of this article that I’m trying to convey. Therefore, in an act of rebellious mockery, they provide junk as donations.
Or, they feel guilty about discarding junk, and donate it (*shifty eyes*).
But that ties in perfectly with what I’m saying. TNT cleverly designed the Money Tree and Second-hand Shoppe to make users donate junk. That’ll teach those freeloaders a lesson. Ha.
*Short break here to grab a Small Fizzy Drink and refill your popcorn bucket*
Of course, some people believe that poverty is for strong, brave characters; those who want to get down to the nitty-gritty. Having less will somehow make pets appreciate what they have; learn survival on basic needs; grow strong.
Lies, all lies. You see, neopets are created with a deep, deep love for their owner. But they also expect to have things. Pretty clothes, good food, petpets, fun and smiles are all born into a neopet’s dreams. As owners, we are obliged to fulfil those needs and make those dreams come true.
Okay, yes, I’m drifting off topic here. But stay with me, because now, I proudly present...
The SAPS NeoVideo!
SAPS are the Society Against Poverty and Stupidity. They appear all the time on Neovision, but never in real life. A mixture of Kacheeks, Grundos and Ogrins, these amiable pets chatter all day about poverty, donations, and education. This week, they’ve adapted my article into a documentary! (Hurrah!)
Everyone who bothered reading this gets a FREE NeoVideo of the SAPS documentary!* (Yippee!)
Don’t get out your party hats just yet, though, because I am going to wrap up this article by giving the following points:
- Everyone can be rich.
- Wealth comes through personal hard work.
- Donations provide lazy, careless users with stuff.
- DON’T DONATE!
Thank you for reading. The drinks and popcorn cost 500 NP, thanks.