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Annoying Books to Have Around


by mucka33

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Have you ever sat down on your comfy plush armchair with a cup of tea and wanted to read a book? When you reach over to grab a book, you expect something with a nice hard cover that contains a story to read. Would you be so inclined to read that same book if it were dripping or on fire? Here, Neopia, I have collected the most annoying books to have around your neohome.

Acara Aquatics

Four tales, each featuring a Maraquan Acara in one slimy dripping volume.

Just as the description explains, this book is both slimy and drips. Even if you wear gloves while reading, this book will be sure to drip on your clothes, furniture and carpets. If you want to avoid cleaning up a sticky mess, I would stick to a great classic like Babaa Tales.

Attack Of The Giant Space Fungus

It came from outer space and took over the world!!! (Or tried to anyway)

Yet another book with tentacles. Although this one isn't so prone to dripping, it's thoroughly annoying all the same. Not only is holding it a hassle, but trying to put it down is too, as the tentacles will cling to your hands/hair/clothes/etc. The squishy texture is rather... strange too.

Behind The Frosting: Tales Of The Chocolate Xweetok

There is more than meets the eye when it comes to the chocolate Xweetok!

At first glance, this may seem like a pleasant book to read. However, that whipping cream on the cover isn't decorative, it's the real deal. You may think eating the whipping cream is a good idea, right? Well, think again. Many pets have complained about this book because they have eaten the whipping cream, and also the book itself too! The cover is, sadly, not made of chocolate.

Book Of Pain

Believed to have been owned by Dr F Sloth himself, this book is a truly nasty piece of work.

Judging by the picture, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Spikes on a... book? Perhaps it's a practical deadly weapon, but it's definitely not good reading material. A great weapon for the Battledomer.

Book Of Splinters

Be careful when you try to read this one, its very fragile and little shards of wood break off all the time.

Even the description warns you on this one. Splinters can be painful and hard to get out, so why get one from reading? I would just throw this book in the wood pile. Or, better yet, burn it in your next fire.

Buzz Snot

What should you do if your Buzz is sick and all snotty?

More like what should you do if your BOOK is sick and all snotty? Yet another (more disgusting) example of a book that will wreck your furniture or your clothes. Not to mention it's pretty gross too... Facial tissues, anyone?

Chained Book

Goodness knows why this book is chained up, there must be something very special inside.

Sure you would want to read this book because of its secrets, but how do you get it open? The chains are strong and wrapped around the book tightly. There also doesn't seem to be a lock. Any ideas?

Deteriorating Scroll

Best to handle this very careful-- oops.

Oops, your book just disintegrated into a pile of dust. Better luck next time!

Disappearing Ink Book

It looks terribly difficult to read this book.

A book written in invisible ink? The description is pretty much bang on with this book; it is nearly impossible to read this book unless you know how to read invisible ink. Then it just becomes a hassle.

Famous Flotsams

This soggy tome is fortunately water-proof so it is still fully readable!

Waterproof? Check. Readable? Check. Drips and gets all your furniture wet? Check.

Who cares if it's waterproof? It will still make a mess of your house!

Fire Pet Guide

Everything you need to know about caring for fire pets...if you can read it before it burns.

Eek, it's on fire?! This book poses the threat of burning yourself or even your neohome. Avoid bringing this book into close contact with wood. Or, better yet, just don't buy it.

Fishing For Techos

This rather soggy book is well loved in the fishing community.

Mmm... more wet books! How did you know this was what I wanted?

Flaming Scroll

Handle with care or tongs. Both, maybe even.

That is one BLAZING fire. Guaranteed to set everything it touches on fire, this book is a safety hazard.

Forbidden Zafara

This book reveals so much about Zafaras and their history that it has been locked away and hidden for centuries.

Dare you read it? Oh wait, you can't; it's chained up. Another book that's been chained tightly and has no lock. What is up with these?

Glurp

The emotional tale of an Aisha that just cant seem to stop drooling.

Nearly as bad as Buzz Snot, although this book features drool. Another great way to ruin your clothes. Seconds, anyone?

Half-eaten Book

Looks like some devoured this book a little too literally.

I hope whatever ate the other half brushed his teeth... Now how are you supposed to read this?

How To Make Mud Sculptures

This book will teach you how to manipulate the qualities of mud and allow you to look at mud puddles as potential works of art.

Do you ever remember your mom telling you not to track mud around the house? How do you explain to her that your book tracked mud around the house?

Jelly Mysteries

Does Jelly World really exist?

*Is gagged and dragged away by the Meepits* ERROR: This book does not exist!

Little Techo Book

A cute book full of all kinds of interesting facts about Techos.

Aww... look at the cute little book! But just how small is the print in it? You'll definitely need a magnifying glass for this one!

Lunch Box Treats

Are these edible pages?

Now you may be asking yourself, 'What could be better than an edible book?' I'll tell you what. Leave it sitting on your table for a week or two and tell me what you think later.

Miss Prissy Kacheek Halloween Tales

This book hasn't been touched in years...

This book pretty much guarantees you a coughing fit from all the dust it contains. Is that a Spyder web I see on the side? I wouldn't risk having to take your pet to the Healing Faerie just to read this book.

Mouldy Tome

Eww this book is all slimy and you can barely read the writing on the pages.

Yuck, mould now? This looks like something you would find in the deepest depths of your closet!

My Little Mynci Book

Possibly the smallest Mynci book in all of Neopia.

This book poses the same problem as the Little Techo Book; the print is really small! You had better keep that magnifying glass handy for this one.

Not-So-Disgusting Dung Uses

Only 1,500 NP when purchased together with "Disgusting Dung Uses."

It comes with free dung, hurrah? This smelly book will drop dung wherever you take it, including all over your house.

Painting Poogles

Every wondered how to paint Poogles... this book explains how!

Is that paint dripping from this book? Unless you want a really colourful room makeover, I wouldn't read this book.

Rainbow Painting

A rather messy read that will inspire the artist in any Neopet.

This book may be good for a crafty Neopian, but not for the casual reader. It's a messy, sticky book.

Rainy Day Activities

This book has many fun activities, just wait for it to dry before reading it.

It's pouring rain outside and you want something to do. You remember this book, yay! But then... *gasp* it's soaking wet! I guess you'll just have to be bored today.

Sandcastles

Learn about the different types of sand, and the different styles of sandcastles you can make.

A book made out of sand? How in Neopia did they write words on it? That secret may be lost; as soon as you touch this book, it crumbles into a pile of sand!

Secret Recipes Of Mystery Island

These recipes are top secret so use this book with caution. This item is only available if you have a virtual prize code from Neopets: Puzzle Adventure Video Game!

There's a cooking pot in your book and it's on top of a fire? Can you say dangerous? And how does the book close?

Slime And You

This book explains the many benefits of slime!

This book is just COVERED in slime. If you have to take a shower after reading a book, I wouldn't advise reading it.

Snow Days

Too bad the pages are melting.

Unless you're reading this book outside in Terror Mountain, you may have a few problems. If you decide to read it outside in Terror Mountain, though, don't forget your coat.

Spiky Tales

This may not be a book you want to read on your lap.

Never mind your lap, what about your hands also? Any way you try to read this book will probably hurt.

The Annals Of Insanity

HAHAHAHAHA LENS FLARE OMG

Quite possibly a scarier book than Book Of Pain. This one has teeth, crazy eyes, and spews nonsense. Reading it may cause unpleasant side effects such as dizziness, nausea, or insanity.

The Trail Of Slime

You may want to wash your hands after reading this book.

I wonder how books like these even sell. I mean really, who wants slime everywhere?

Trectse fo Thade

Most definitely not light reading!

Hewn het helow obko si rtitwne kiel htsi, ti's rhda ot erda.

Vicious Attack Book

Heeeeya!

This book is just lethal! I would use it as a Battledome weapon instead of a book. Bandages not included.

Walking Book

What a novel idea, a book you simply cannot lose! This was an Advent Calendar prize in year 4.

Not such a great idea when it has walked across your house and you can't find it. What's more annoying than having to search for your book because it walked away?

Waterlogged Book

Ugh! All the ink has run out of this old book.

Possibly the cheapest (or one of) books in Neopia, I can certainly see why. It's a bunch of soaking wet pages filled with ruined ink. This one is better for the dump.

Webs Of Death

The tales that are spun in this book are quite scary.

More Spyder webs and this one also has a real Spyder! Spyder Bite is an expensive illness to treat; avoid this book!

So there you have it, Neopia, the most annoying books! Now that you're properly educated you can avoid the unpleasant surprise that these books hold. Until next time, adieu!

 
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