Magical Healing Slorgs
It was an epidemic. Within hours thousands and thousands of Neopets had come down with a mysterious disease. Barnacles and sores began to appear on fur, feathers and scales. Neopian lands soon began to declare quarantines as the epidemic spread throughout the world. Things were beginning to look bleak. Was this the downfall of Neopia?
Well, no. The great Scourgies plague of the 1st day of Eating has since been revealed to be a hoax. No one is sure where it originated but the contagious disease was proven to be non-harmful, and within twenty four hours the symptoms had vanished.
But during the panic and mayhem, an interesting topic came up: the healing properties of slorgs. In the confusion many cures were tested to try and shift the Scourgies. Some were proven to be successful, if only temporarily. Soup, goop and splints were just some of the cures that were attempted that for a short while shifted the barnacles that plagued Neopets. But as the day went on, one cure was proving to be more popular than the others. Neopians everywhere were covering themselves in Slorgs to rid them of the disease.
In an interview with the Neopian Times the world renowned Doctor Gelert of the Neopia Central Hospital was quick to dismiss the idea.
“It was a prank. Do you really think that putting a slimy petpet on you will help cure you of a terrible disease? You’ve got more chance of Sloth opening up a petpet adoption agency!”
But this reporter decided to dig a little deeper into this mystery.
What is a slorg?
Slorgs are of course on of the most popular species of petpets in Neopia, already having a long running cult following. The Slorg comes in a large variety of colours, including the experimental Gold and Jelly that have been spotted since the creation of the mysterious petpet lab. There is even a whole range of merchandise for those die hard slorg fans including the popular Rainbow Slorg Usuki Set.
But can they be used to heal Neopets?
Slorgs For Neopia!
I spoke to the head of the new group ‘Slorgs for Neopia’: a majestic Eyrie by the name of Jyllenhaal. Sitting atop of his head was a single slorg, looking very relaxed. The group was created to help spread awareness of Magical Healing Slorgs.
“There was a lot of panic during the epidemic, but there was a group who came together and united under the healing power of slorgs. We saw how they could prevent Scourgies and we were quick to distribute slorgs out to the neediest Neopians.”
“But what about the revelation that Scourgies were as fake as a three neopoint coin?”
“We, like everyone, were surprised after such panic over Scourgies. However, during the epidemic we realised that slorgs also had a positive effect on other diseases. One of our members was totally cured of Neoblues after we covered him entirely in slorgs.”
The group has pledged itself to both inform Neopians about the healing properties of slorgs as well as distributing them amongst sick pets. This process known as ‘slorging’ as already received many volunteers, both to hand the petpets out, and for the slimy cure.
Slorgs Around Neopia
It may be that the basis of the cure in fact comes from ancient Neopia. Deep in the heart of Tyrannia there are many depictions of Neopets covered in slorgs in ancient cave paintings. In each image the slorg-covered Neopet can be seen to be smiling. I decided to head to Tyrannia to try and find out more about these images.
“UGGA UGGA UGGA,” said Tekel, Tyrannian Master of Spells and Potions. “UG. UGGA UGGA.”
I then realised it would have been better if I had learnt some Tyrannian before I had journeyed there. Not discouraged, I instead decided to head to the Haunted Woods, where Slorgs are believed to originate from.
“What do you want?” the Cybunny proprietor said as I entered his humble shop. I sensed that the interview would be difficult but I eventually got him to talk to me.
“The slorgs are regarded highly by other petpets. The little monsters I stock are always fighting with each other, but the slorg will remain unharmed. But to claim they heal? I haven’t heard such nonsense since Hubert stopped selling my favourite hot dog!” He shook his head. “Oh, and sorry about that Grobrin attacking you.”
“That’s quite alright.”
“Maybe you should try a healing Slorg,” he said with a sarcastic grin.
Meanwhile in Faerieland Fyora herself sells the item Slorg Flakes. It is one of the more mysterious items she sells; an item that she has never explained. Using it upon another petpet will transform it into a slorg. Does the wise Faerie Queen know more than she’s letting on? Unfortunately I was not able to get an interview from Fyora as she has agreed to help Kari with preparations for the Negg festival.
In other Neopian worlds, the Slorgs are treated as pests. In Meridell, for example, they are seen as a nuisance as they try to eat farmers crops. This lead to the invention of the Slorgeriser X4 as they tried to rid their land of the slimy little creatures. Slorgs For Neopia have since spoken out against the use of the machine, stating that Slorgs should be a protected species of petpet.
Slorgs For All?
As my journey continued, I was made aware of a protest outside the Neopia Central Hospital by the ‘Slorgs for Neopia’ group. The group were campaigning for the hospital to accept the healing properties of slorgs. A large crowd had gathered from all over Neopia, many of them covered in over twenty slorgs. The crowd could be heard chanting, “SLORGS FOR ALL! SLORGS FOR ALL!” as they marched at the hospital entrance.
I managed to speak to Doctor Gelert for the second time.
“This is nonsense! I suppose they want me to start throwing soup in Neopets faces as well!” The Doctor then stormed off in a huff before muttering under his breath. “I told them Scourgies was a terrible joke.”
The protests have now entered their second week, and it seems that this difference of opinion will not go away any time soon. The pro-slorg group has vowed to continue fighting for the right to slorgs in the Neopian hospital, where as the doctors are standing firm, claiming slorgs are more useless than a chocolate teapot.
It seems to this reporter that so far the effects of slorgs as a healing cure aren’t clear. Whilst it seems that Neopets covered in slorgs are much happier than other Neopets, I have seen no evidence of them curing any of the known Neopian diseases.
But there is one thing that we can all agree on: slorgs are AWESOME.