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Neopian Trend Watch: Grey Day


by laurapet131

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(The setting is a small TV newsroom. A bouncing logo floats on a screen behind a large desk, which is in front of a camera. A yellow Usul is sitting at the desk, twiddling her thumbs anxiously. A large red Tonu mans the camera.)

ROALD: What’s got you so antsy?

CASSIE: I hate the Grey Day episode sooo much.

ROALD: Why? It’s my favorite.

CASSIE: It’s so depressing! How on earth could you like an episode like that?

ROALD: I like depressing. Anyway, it’s time to get rolling.

CASSIE: (Sighs) If we have to. (Smiles an overly-bright grin) Hey there, Neopians! Today on Neopian Trend Watch, we’re going to check out the latest and greatest fashions. In honor of Grey Day, most of them are grey. And depressing.

ROALD: (Coughs)

CASSIE: But they’re still very stylish! Grey is sooo in this season. On with the show!

Backgrounds

Evil Garden Gnome Background

CASSIE: It kinda... creeps me out a bit. All those evil gnomes... staring at you... (Shudders) At least it has a grey, gloomy sky behind the scary critters, huh?

ROALD: Why would you put it on the list if you hate it so much?

CASSIE: I’m apparently a glutton for punishment. (Grimaces)

Spooky Tower Entrance

CASSIE: Dark and sinister. Perfect for Grey Day. If you’re the curious type, perhaps you’d like to see what’s inside that inviting-looking castle.

ROALD: What idiot would—?

CASSIE: Shhh, don’t insult our viewers. (Smiles at camera) I’m sure there’s a nice, friendly pet waiting inside for you.

ROALD: I hope you’ve got a contract of some sort that says you’re not responsible for inane ideas presented on air.

CASSIE: Of course I do.

A Grey Day Background

CASSIE: A classic Grey Day pick, A Grey Day Background is the perfect choice for some disheartening surroundings.

ROALD: Great idea, play up the depression factor. (Shakes head)

CASSIE: That’s really all this background has going for it.

ROALD: Did I just hear Ms. Fashion use sarcasm? About FASHION?

CASSIE: Moving on!

Used Bubble Paper Background

CASSIE: (Sniffles) This is the absolute GREYEST background you could—sniff—buy. It’s just so sad! (Starts to cry)

ROALD: It’s... bubble wrap.

CASSIE: Used bubble wrap! Isn’t that terrible!

ROALD: Sometimes I wonder about you.

CASSIE: I can’t imagine why. (Wipes tears)

Foregrounds

Old Stone Wall Foreground

CASSIE: Nothing’s sadder than an abandoned structure, and that seems to be what this is. So if you want an old wall following you around, this is for you. (Sniffs) Sorry, I’m still just so upset over the bubble wrap...

ROALD: Ignoring that... I still don’t see the “grey” in this foreground.

CASSIE: There aren’t too many grey foregrounds, okay? I just present the list.

ROALD: Yeah, yeah, ‘I just work here’...

Cover of Darkness Foreground

CASSIE: Want to hide behind a depressing, thick screen of fog?

ROALD: Who would?

CASSIE: I dunno. Somebody might. Anyway, this is a great Grey Day choice. Pair it with any of the other clothes on this list and you’ve got a sad, sad winner.

Headpieces

Jazzmosis Hat

CASSIE: It’s grey.

ROALD: That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?

CASSIE: Is there really anything else to say about this?

ROALD: You’re right. It’s boring, grey, and totally not fun. Hey... why am I agreeing with you? Shouldn’t you be arguing with me on how stylish this hat is?

CASSIE: But it’s really not stylish!

ROALD: Honestly, Cassie, what is wrong with you?

Scientist Wig

CASSIE: I don’t know about you, but I find mad scientists just so ADORABLE. To capture the look perfectly, get this mop-haired wig.

ROALD: ‘Mop’ is right. I wouldn’t use that thing to wipe my floor.

CASSIE: Shut up.

ROALD: Hey, that’s the Cassie I’ve been missing! (Grins)

Tops

404 Shirt

CASSIE: Ah, the 404... one of the saddest things to ever exist in Neopia. Immortalize your favorite thing to hate with this classy red-on-white shirt.

ROALD: I really do hate 404s.

CASSIE: All your page are belong to us.

ROALD: My browser hurts.

Basic White Shirt

ROALD: Don’t even start. Don’t say one word about this ugly item, Cassie. Not one word.

CASSIE: Remember that contract with the General store? Well, it got extended.

ROALD: I’m warning you, don’t say it.

CASSIE: (Smiles widely) Basic White Shirt! That’s one. Anyway, it’s kinda sad, I guess...

ROALD: (Grumbles) It’s sad how many times you mention it.

Bowling Shirt

CASSIE: Well, really, the only thing sad about this one is how super-un-stylish it is.

ROALD: Uh. I own one of these.

CASSIE: Oh, good. (Turns to camera) You see what I mean? Fantastic for Grey Day! If you’re lucky, you’ll make a few little kids cry from the horror!

ROALD: As soon as we’re off air, Cassie, as soon as we’re off air... (Makes fist angrily)

CASSIE: (Gulps) Next item. Thanks.

Feet Items

Torn White Gym Socks / Torn Fire Gym Socks / Torn Pink Gym Socks / Torn Rainbow Gym Socks

CASSIE: Torn socks just make me tear up. (Starts to cry quietly)

ROALD: For Fyora’s sake. Half the items on this list aren’t even GREY.

CASSIE: I never said they had to be.

ROALD: But... Grey Day... oh, just forget it.

Trinkets

Dying Rose in a Vase

CASSIE: Here’s some classic Grey Day material. A rose—symbolizing love—and it’s dying—symbolizing... uh... loss? Yeah. That’s deep. Symbolizing loss.

ROALD: Finally, some actual stuff that isn’t ridiculous.

CASSIE: Better than not ridiculous, it’s actually dismal! Really, truly dismal!

ROALD: I can’t help thinking you shouldn’t be so happy that something’s dismal.

CASSIE: Right. (Puts on sorrowful expression) Sadface.

Valentines Day Tree

CASSIE: If you want to be a walking paradox, carry around a Valentines Day Tree on Grey Day. You’ll confuse everyone you meet! It’s fantastic.

ROALD: It also shows a complete and utter disregard for set holidays. (Pretends to put on sunglasses) Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of Grey Day, but I don’t celebrate it. What do I celebrate? Well, it’s so unique and hipster that you probably haven’t even heard of it.

CASSIE: ... Nice impression.

ROALD: I’ve been practicing.

Looming Balthazar Shadow

CASSIE: Very creepy, very grey. I think it works.

ROALD: I would hate to have that following me around all the time.

CASSIE: ... Yeah, I kinda agree with that. It makes me feel paranoid. (Looks over shoulder) AAAH!

ROALD: What? What?!

CASSIE: My hair is frizzing!

ROALD: Really. Really, Cassie.

CASSIE: I’m serious! Get me some hairspray, quick!!

(The camera fades to static as the studio is practically ransacked to find hairspray.)

CASSIE: (Spraying hairspray around head) Oh, my. That’s much better. Roald, you can turn the camera back on.

(The picture comes back.)

ROALD: Rolling.

CASSIE: Right. So... Looming Balthazar Shadow. Don’t use if you’re paranoid or don’t want to become paranoid.

Broken Heart Tombstone

CASSIE: Great, great. Cheerless, grey, broken-hearted...

ROALD: (Sniffles)

CASSIE: Are you crying?

ROALD: (Blows nose) No, no. I just...

CASSIE: You’re crying.

ROALD: Fine. I’m crying. This one, it really gets to me, y’know? It’s a tombstone for cryin’ out loud. (Breaks down in tears)

CASSIE: Oh boy. I think we need a new cameraman. Pull yourself together, Roald. Be a manly Neopet, if that’s even possible.

ROALD: Right. (Blows nose again) Okay, I’m ready. Next item?

CASSIE: (Dubiously) Uh-huh. You sure you’re okay?

ROALD: Yeah, just—just move on. (Sniffs)

Heart Flag Garland

ROALD: Again with the contradictions, huh?

CASSIE: This is so stylish, I couldn’t resist.

ROALD: I can’t believe it. That’s only the fourth time you’ve said it so far.

CASSIE: Said what?

ROALD: “Stylish.”

CASSIE: That’s impossible. I normally aim for ten per episode.

ROALD: I keep a tally. It’s been only four.

CASSIE: Jeez, I need to step up my game here.

Species-Specific

Bori Detective Hat / Bori Detective Coat / Bori Detective Magnifying Glass

CASSIE: They’re very grey. You’ll feel like you’re in an old-timey, black-and-white NeoVision show!

ROALD: NeoVision isn’t around anymore.

CASSIE: So you see my point.

ROALD: ... If you say so.

CASSIE: Unfortunately, as with all species-specific items, only Boris can wear these!

ROALD: That’s all the time we have for today. Cassie, wrap it up.

CASSIE: Alas, viewers, we’re out of time. I hope you now have some ideas for the perfect Grey Day outfit! I also apologize for the amount of crying that went on during this episode of Neopian Trend Watch.

ROALD: That’s a wrap.

CASSIE: Wait, no!

ROALD: What? We have to go.

CASSIE: But I forgot to mention the Basic Whi—

(A commercial for NeoFlakes cuts off the show. Thanks for watching NTW: Grey Day Edition.)

 
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