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5 "Grey-t" Reasons to Own a Grey Neopet


by gloomyparadise

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Do you currently have an unpainted neopet? Are you itching to splurge on your savings? Am I bombarding you with questions yet? Well, in honor of Grey Day, I aim to convince you to get a Grey Neopet of your own! Note: A Neopet is not just for the day, or the week, or the season. A Neopet is for you to love and take care of forever. This endorsement has been brought to you by the Neopian Pound.

Without further ado, I bring you the list.

1. A Grey Neopet will be there for you in morose times.

Think to all of your friends with their cheerful Royal or Baby or Plushie pets. They’re always bouncing around, being polite, smiling, playing games. That’s no fun, is it? Remember that time you went to the Faerieland Employment Agency and a rude Skeith ate your purse and kicked you out of line? Then you had to run to Tyrannia to get an omelette for your pets so that they wouldn’t go starving that day. When you came home and plopped down on the floor, did you really want your Faerie Scorchio to fly out and tell you about how he had successfully haggled on a Bottle of Blue Sand in the Tombola Shop? If you had a Grey Neopet – well, first of all, the neopet probably wouldn’t even be caught in Mystery Island. It’s way too sunny there. Second of all, your pet would not smile and frolic about because Grey Neopets sulk and mope around. The two of you could have engaged in a heated rant about how Skeiths have voracious appetites that should be controlled by the Chia Police but the Skeiths ate all their batons or how your Neopet’s fur gets in his eyes too much and causes him to cry. Call me negative, but I cannot think of a better way to spend my evening!

2. You can get a Snoogy without shame or fear!

I can just see all the Snoogy owners in an uproar by this statement, so let me calm your agitations before you chuck said Snoogies at me in one synchronous motion. I urge you to think of that Grarrl that lives on your street – can you really see him out walking his faerie kadoatie? Wouldn’t that appear a bit odd, maybe even humorous? As you contemplate this laugh out loud scenario, I urge you to picture the Snoogy in your mind. It is a delightful creature with pointy ears and woeful eyes. It looks like it is crying and tired all the time. I suppose I have just described one of the most depressing sights known to a Neopian, and this was surely not my intention. Think of how adorable the Snoogy is! When your pet walks her Snoogy down the street, others will ooh and ahh with jealousy over her adorable robot petpet. By getting a Grey Neopet, your Neopet and its Snoogy will look very much in sync whether they are at the Chocolate Factory lamenting their sorrow in a bowl of chocolate or at the pound discussing the overabundance of neglected pets in Neopia.

3. You can blend in with the Lever of Doom.

The Lever of Doom is like the Chocolate Factory of the Virtupets Space Station. No one goes in, no one comes out, but neopoints are taken at an alarming rate. Have you ever wondered where those neopoints go? Is your neopet adventure seeking? By painting your neopet Grey, he will almost be in tone with Lever of Doom, so he can sneak behind it and steal back all of the hard-earned neopoints that the lever has stolen! No Neopian has travelled on such a journey; thus, no one can say whether or not there is a second arm that reaches out behind the lever...

For the sake of your Neopet, let’s hope not. But hey, even if there is and your Neopet gets taken into the Lever of Doom, imagine the great stories you will be able to tell for years to come!

4. You can finally match your Gothic Usuki shopkeeper.

Around Neopia, this shopkeeper seems very popular. No one quite knows why. ;) Nevertheless, many Neopians have often complained that their shopkeeper does not match the cheery and bright tone of the rest of their pets. For example, many disco pets, such as my very own Krawk, Krawkalicious_Diva, have scorned the poor shopkeeper such that I cannot even leave it as my active shopkeeper. My Krawk complains that while she loves listening to music and showing off her neon green hair, all that the shopkeeper wants is sit around sullenly and sigh. In fact, Krawkalicious_Diva once timed the shopkeeper and she says that the shopkeeper sighed over 27 times in one hour. While I doubt my Neopet’s math skills, I most certainly do not want to make my pets unhappy, and as the owner of a Grey Krawk, I can tell you that my other Krawk and the shopkeeper spent many an afternoon sitting together and sighing. After all, as an owner, I should do everything that makes them happy, right? Or rather, sad, I suppose.

5. The Pant Devil will be too sad to steal from you.*

Even though the Pant Devil is a little malicious blue creature, even he cannot deflect the depressing nature of a Grey Neopet. It’s practically like stealing candy from a Baby Chomby... and who could really look into those innocent green eyes and steal the Faerie Queen Doll that pet has been dutifully saving for since the Hidden Tower was remodeled? I, for one, believe in the mercifulness of the Pant Devil! Your Grey Neopet will put the Pant Devil to shame for stealing from poor, sad Neopets. With just one sigh and that far-away, lonely look, your Neopet is sure to bring any Neopian villain to his knees – and yes, slowly but surely, we are working on taking down... dun dun dun... Sloth! Enough grey Neopets are sure to soften even this grump’s heart.

There you have it. If you do not already own a Grey Neopet, these five points should make you run toward to the Trading Post to buy a Grey Paint Brush. However, if you already do own a Grey Neopet – get more! There can never be enough Grey Neopets in this world.

*Note: I cannot confirm or deny that your visits from the Pant Devil will decrease as a result of painting a Neopet Grey. All accounts in this article are purely for entertainment purposes.

 
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