The 100 Signs of Neopets Addiction

This guide is not meant to be taken seriously. Whether or not you fit one or all of them, this list was just written for entertainment reasons.

And, yes: laughing is acceptable here.

And now...

One-hundred signs that tell you that you are an extreme Neopets fanatic:

1. You actually have the patience to play Wheel of Monotony daily.

2. You’ve participated in at least one plot (including the Altador sub-plot)

3. You’ve bought neocash more than once.

4. You spend all day playing games so that you can get the Adam avvie.

5. You were attached to Neovision.

6. You spend hours thinking of the right caption for the Caption Contest.

7. You actually stay up until midnight NST to play Deadly Dice.

8. You have more than 5 sidebar themes.

9. You spend a lot of time collecting avatars.

10. You have more than 200 avatars.

11. You’re picky about choosing a guild to join.

12. You have the Packrat Avatar.

13. You have the Adam Avatar (you’re richer than Adam... o_0).

14. You actually know what borovan is.

15. You are over-protective of your asparagus.

16. You have Neopets merchandise.

17. You fear that Meepits will steal you away in the dark.

18. You freak out when Boochi misses your pet.

19. You remember the TCG collections.

20. You’ve memorized the names of the pets IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

21. You’ve memorized the names of the petpets IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

22. You have found the Hidden Tower.

23. You believe in Jelly World (but my children, it is just a mere faerie tale, am I right?).

24. You’ve spelled cow K-A-U.

25. You have been playing since before the site layout changed.

26. You’ve been playing so long that your shield really should say, “This account is very old.”

27. You know what a gormball is.

28. Instead of thinking your dog is infested with fleas, you think it’s covered in petpetpets.

29. You don’t rest until you get (insert LE pet here) on its pet day.

30. You constantly say to yourself, “Must... have... dubloons!”

31. You actually ‘talk’ to your pets on the neoboards. (o_0 I know, weird...)

32. You see a cat in a tree and wonder why the Warfs haven’t saved it yet.

33. You play a game of Mahjong and wonder where the pretty Shenkuu-themed pictures and symbols are.

34. You never think about what’s IN a hot dog; you just wonder where Hubert gets the ideas FOR his hot dogs.

35. You use o_0 so much that you consider it part of your vocabulary.

36. You have found asparagus to be the best food on earth.

37. You always think of mr.coconut when you read the Neopian Times’ Editorial section.

38. You associate white Weewoos with quills and the NTWF.

39. Someone says “Good night,” you think of mr.coconut.

40. You see pop culture references everywhere, and then you think of Neopets when you think of those references on a daily basis.

41. British terminology has become implanted in your brain.

42. You think that Faerieland is falling when a leaf falls off of a tree and lands on you.

43. You use *headdesk* so much that you wish that the smiley wasn’t revoked from the site.

44. You actually remember the *headdesk* smiley.

45. You remember the times before the Neopets commercials.

46. You remember the time when the sidebar wasn’t as organized.

47. You miss the old sidebars.

48. 1337 has become part of your vocabulary.

49. You use *asterisks* when you’re in the outside world.

50. Hanso has become the topic of all of your daydreams. (Or any other plot character, if you’re not a Hanso-freak.)

51. Zapping your pet(s) and/or petpet(s) has become a daily ritual.

52. You find the haiku pointless, but also fit them into your daily ritual.

53. You have visited the Advent Calendar every day of December at least once.

54. You have visited the Advent Calendar every day of December since the first year you started.

55. Sitting through a Biology class makes you think about Esophagor and/or the Brain Tree.

56. 404 pages no longer bother you because they pop up so often.

57. You have realized that the Neopian Times is the only legit newspaper that you’ve ever really read.

58. You use all of the chatspeak and other abbreviations that you have learned on Neopets in real life conversations.

59. (insert plot character here) is your role model. (“STILL ANGRY!” growls the agitated orange Yurble.)

60. You don’t just eat your meals; you omnomnom your mealsmealsmeals.

61. Fort Nox was not there when you last logged on. o_0

62. You remember the old McDonalds’ commercial.

63. You remember the McDonalds’ commercial’s jingle! (N-n-n-neopets, I got my head in the clouds!)

64. You remember the Lutari Island phone app.

65. You owned/were obsessed with the phone app.

66. You follow *cough*stalk*cough* TNT on certain social networking sites.

67. You spend every second on Neo.

68. You log onto Neo anywhere there’s a computer in sight: the school computer lab, the library (“Son, I am disappoint.”), the Symol Hole, etc.

69. You take your anger out on a relaxing game of “TNT Staff Smasher.”

70. You remember when “TNT Staff Smasher” was named “Whack-a-Staff Member.”

71. You remember when “Kass Basher” was named “Whack a Kass.”

72. You still call “TNT Staff Smasher” and “Kass Basher” by their original names.

73. You have made coconuts your favorite food.

74. You realize how important it is for TNT to have coffee after reading the editorials. o_o;

75. You remember (pwning) the first Altador Cup.

76. You leave your (home)work to the last minute because all of that extra time that you had was spent (or, to parents, wasted) on Neo.

77. That Bonju avvie still isn’t yours, but it still is driving you nuts (even though August is long gone).

78. You have spent thousands of hundreds of neopoints trying to get the currently unobtainable Wishing Well avvie.

79. You vent to your neofriends as if they were your best friends in reality.

80. You play at the Game Graveyard more than the Games Room.

81. You know what restocking is.

82. You understand abbreviations, such as “K.”

83. You failed that really important midterm/final/project/etc. because you were on Neopets when you should’ve been studying.

84. Everything you draw is a Neopet/Petpet/Faerie/Other charrie found on Neo.

85. You use the word “charrie” instead of “character.”

86. You find screaming to be the most enjoyable activity in the world. (Take THAT, Techo Mega-Fan!)

87. You go into an uncontrollable rampage when the internet goes down right as you’re in the middle of a riveting conversation/RP/auction/game of Key Quest/etc.

88. You go into an uncontrollable rampage when the site goes down.

89. You know how to trade and sell stocks because of the Stock Market game.

90. You have memorized the link(s) to the Petpet Ray and/or Lab Ray.

91. You have decided that Neopets stuffed animals pwn action figures every day.

92. You have dressed up as a Neopet for Halloween at least once.

93. You expect mr.coconut to jump out of nowhere when you play Coconut Shy.

94. You have wasted hundreds of thousands of neopoints trying to get the Coconut Shy avvie.

95. Your Neopet is customized better than you. :P

96. You don’t think “usuki”; you think “USUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

97. You have Beta Tested for Key Quest every time you could.

98. You have a uniquely named Neopet/Petpet Park petpet.

99. All of your Neopets are uniquely named.

LAST, but NOT LEAST:

100. YOU TOOK YOUR SWEET TIME READING THIS OVER BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO SEE HOW MUCH OF A NEOPETS FAN YOU ARE.

Thanks for reading, everyone! ^_^