White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 182,917,765 Issue: 469 | 12th day of Storing, Y12
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Edna Makes a Friend


by bittersweet52

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Crokabeks circled overhead as Edna stood in her garden patch gazing upward with one paw shading her eyes from the hazy sun. Where did they all come from? she wondered. The Brain Tree probably let them nest among his branches. That would explain why there were always so many around no matter what season it was. Did Crokabeks usually migrate in the winter? The Lost Desert climate wasn’t far from here and would probably be much more comfortable in the winter once the Haunted Woods started getting more cold and damp. Then again, knowing Crokabeks, they probably preferred it colder and damper, depressing little critters. Maybe they even caused the cold and damp. There did seem to be more and more of them as the year got on and the days grew shorter.

      Suddenly, she heard the doorbell ring in its familiar eerie chime.

      “A visitor!” she cackled, hurrying into her tower.

      As she neared the door she heard a nervous coughing, and someone shuffling their feet. Straightening her hat, she threw open the door.

      “Welcome to the Witch’s Tower! I deal in magic spells and potions. Need somebody love you? Want to give somebody spots and itches? You’ve come to the right place!”

      A very uncomfortable looking Nimmo stared down at his feet and mumbled something inaudible.

      “What’s that? Speak up!”

      “I just want to get an avatar for my owner,” he said in a tiny squeak.

      “Oh! Well in that case, I’m searching for the missing ingredients for my latest project: a Rainbow Wand of Jetsam Transforming. Bring me a White Chocolate Buzz, a Feed the Skeith Game, and a Transparent Lemon Soap. If you bring my all the items within 2 hours and 1 minute, I’ll give you a reward.” Edna winked at the poor Neopet, and he scampered off on his quest.

      “If he thinks he’ll get that avatar out of me by just doing one quest... hah!” Edna said to herself. “But I will bake a lovely pumpkin pie for him as a reward. That would be more appropriate for a beginning quester.”

      Edna bounced back out to her garden to choose a nice fresh pumpkin. As she opened the back door, a cloud of Crokabeks took to the air.

      “Drat!” Edna spat, surveying the damage. A dozen or so pumpkins had peck marks, and another half dozen had huge holes gouged out of them with precious pumpkin seeds spilling out into the dirt. Shaking her fist at the birds, she gathered up the ruined pumpkins and dragged them inside. The pies use a purée anyway, she thought. Waste not, want not.

     ---

      Forty-five minutes later, the pies were in the oven, and Edna was back in her garden. The Crokabeks had decimated another ten pumpkins. The pumpkins were the most useful of all the plants growing in the garden! Why did they have to target the pumpkins of all things. Edna sighed to herself. With the pumpkins there were two or three “rewards” she could make to give out to questers. And they were the best rewards to give out because they were the easiest on her bank account. Pumpkins didn’t cost much as far as ingredients went.

      She sighed and dragged a big pumpkin over to the stone tower. Sitting daintily on the pumpkin with her back leaning against the wall, she pulled some rags out of her pocket. Sighing again, she threaded a needle and started stitching. She knew what she had to do. She had to make a scareblu. That would keep those Crokabeks away.

      Edna sat on her pumpkin stool sewing until she heard her door chime, and a tentative knock. Eyeing the sky, she quickly hopped up, dropped the bunches of cloth and string onto the pumpkin seat, and went to answer the door. It was the poor Nimmo of course. He dropped the items quickly into her outstretched paws, and backed up a few paces.

      “I’ll just go get that reward, shall I?” Edna said with a gleam in her eye. She disappeared into the tower for a moment before returning with a freshly baked pumpkin pie.

      “Wh-what’s this?” the Nimmo asked.

      “Your reward of course!” Edna cackled in delight.

      “But I wanted an avatar! That’s why I got the items for you!”

      “I never promised you an avatar, did I?” Edna cackled again, and slammed the door on the Nimmo’s face. She hurried back to the yard, and this time none of the pumpkins had been ruined.

      “You’re already doing your job,” Edna exclaimed happily, patting the bundle of cloth. She picked it up gently and shook it out, surveying her handiwork.

      The cloth was sewn into a fair shape of a life-size Blumaroo. It was perhaps a bit on the small side, but it should do the job nicely. Now she just had to find something to stuff it with, give it some clothes, and put it up in the garden. She’d finally be rid of those meddlesome Crokabeks.

     Looking around, Edna decided to just use what she had on hand to stuff the scareblu. The sooner she got it up the better. No sense wasting time and going out to collect discarded pieces of wool or whatnot. Stuffing was stuffing and it wouldn’t matter what she used so long as it filled out the shape of the Blumaroo. She quickly went about gathering up bits of dried grass and weeds lying about the garden. The yellowing stems and stalks were just like hay. Yes, Edna thought, that’s what I’ll call him: HAYmitch. Satisfied with this, Edna quickly started filling out HAYmitch’s head.

     ---

      The sun came up that morning, shining weakly through the haze and torpor of the Haunted Woods, to be greeted by HAYmitch. He was propped up on a stick in the middle of the pumpkins, shaded by a floppy hat, and wearing a raggedy jacket. The Crokabeks settled on a nearby tree to inspect the new addition to the garden patch. Was that Blumaroo a friend of Edna’s? But Edna never had friends in her garden before. Was it a trick? All the while HAYmitch stood patiently, motionlessly, staring out over the plants.

      One particularly brave Crokabek started hopping closer and closer to the scareblu, testing its reaction. HAYmitch remained stoic as ever, and the Crokabek was gathering its courage to fly right up and snatch away the hat, when the doorbell of the tower rang. At the chime, the startled birds retreated to the safety of the trees. Edna shuffled blearily to the door.

      “Ruining my beauty sleep,” Edna muttered under her breath. She glanced in the mirror to make sure her hat had a nice, crisp point, and then opened the door.

      “Welcome to the Witch’s Tower! I deal in magic spells and potions. Need somebody love you? Want to give somebody spots and itches? You’ve come to the right place!”

      The Nimmo from the day before looked sullenly at the witch.

      “Oh, it’s you again. Do you want another go with a quest?”

      “No,” the Nimmo declared bravely. “My owner and I have decided that it’s not worth the time we spend gathering up items for you if all we’re going to get is a measly pumpkin pie. The pie wasn’t even tasty!”

      “What?!” Edna stormed. “My pumpkin pie is the best! Everybody I’ve met has raved about how good they are!”

      “That’s because everyone’s either scared you’ll turn them into a Skidget, or flattering you to try to get your avatar! If you weren’t a witch, you’d have friends who actually told you the truth!”

      Edna stood at her door, mouth agape, staring speechless as the Nimmo ran off as fast he could, hoping she wouldn’t recover quickly enough to retaliate against what he had said. But Edna was in no mood to seek revenge. She closed the door slowly and leaned against it on the inside. Was it true that she had no friends? Certainly nobody ever came to visit her tower unless they were looking for quests or concoctions. The only regular visitors she got were those annoying Crokabeks.

      At this thought she started up. The Crokabeks! She had to go check on her garden. Hurrying into the yard she forgot all about the Nimmo for a moment. She burst out the door into the morning sun and her eyes widened.

      The Crokabeks had stolen HAYmitch’s hat, torn his jacket to ribbons, and started pulling bits of stem and straw out from the seams of Edna’s amateur sewing. They were killing him! She ran out into the field waving her arms and shouting at the birds. At her noise and disruption, the Crokabeks flew up and perched in the branches of a nearby tree, cawing down insults and ridicules at her. Edna ignored them all, and with tears in her eyes gathered HAYmitch up in her arms and gently carried him into the tower.

     ---

      “What can I do to keep away those blasted Crokabeks?” Edna asked HAYmitch.

      HAYmitch looked mournfully at Edna out of his orange-button eyes.

      “I’m sorry they hurt you,” Edna whispered.

      HAYmitch sat quietly where Edna had placed him, no judgment on his face.

      “Welcome to the Witch’s Tower! I deal in magic spells and potions. Need somebody love you? Want to give somebody spots and itches? You’ve come to the right place!” Edna screeched hysterically and burst into tears. “What if I need somebody to love me? Where do I go?” she wailed and threw up her paws in despair.

      One of her paws brushed HAYmitch’s tail and caused him to fall over to one side. His arm swung in a small arch and landed on Edna’s shoulder. Edna glanced up, startled.

      “Oh, HAYmitch!” she cried, throwing herself at him and hugging him fiercely. “You’d love me, right? You’d be my friend, wouldn’t you?”

      The cogs in Edna’s mind were turning now. She could come up with a new recipe. If she combined the Sparkling Wand of Blumaroo Shrinking and the Rainbow Potion of Blumaroo Transforming, she might be able to come up with something that could make HAYmitch into a real Blumaroo! Now where did I leave those bat wings? Edna wondered.

      She had just started rummaging around in the cabinets when the doorbell rang.

      “What is it?” she snapped, yanking open the door. “I’m busy with a new spell!”

      The Nimmo from the other day had come back. “I-I’m sorry to interrupt your work, but...”

      “Do you still want that avatar?” Edna demanded.

      “Of course!” the Nimmo replied, surprised.

      “I’m mixing up some Rainbow Water of Hay-Mitching,” she said quickly. “Bring me a Brain Ice Cream, a Bleeding Heart, and a Brave Jeran Poster.”

      “You, you’ll really give me the avatar this time?”

      “Just bring the items! I’m in a hurry!” And with that Edna ran back to her kitchen.

      ---

      The cauldron was just coming to a boil when the Nimmo reappeared, items in hand.

      “Thank you so much!” Edna said, grabbing the items and rushing back and forth. She threw ingredients into the pot, fanned at the fire, and scurried around in a daze.

      The Nimmo inched his way into the infamous Witch’s Tower and peeked into Edna’s kitchen. In the corner sat a scareblu that looked like it was falling apart. On the hearth fire hung a huge cauldron with wispy grey-green smoke floating above it. The whole concoction smelled surprisingly like raspberries. As he watched, Edna gave the mixture one last stir, scooped up a ladleful and brought it carefully over to the scareblu. She seemed to hesitate for a second, but then with one wide sweep of her arm she sprinkled the rainbow-coloured water over the scareblu and stepped back.

      The water soaked into the cloth of the scareblu and turned a dusky blue. Shreds of cloth knitted themselves back into a jacket. Bits of stuffing were sucked back in and disappeared, lumps smoothed themselves out. The scareblus button eyes started to shine. Suddenly, the scareblu’s tail twitched, making both the Nimmo and Edna jump in surprise.

      In one swift movement, the scareblu straightened up and balanced on its tail, just like a real Blumaroo would.

      “Hello.” The scareblu’s voice was scratchy, as if unused for a long time. “My name is HAYmitch. Pleased to meet you.” HAYmitch held a paw out to the Nimmo.

      The Nimmo gulped and just stared.

      After a beat, HAYmitch seemed to give up and lose interest in the Nimmo. “Edna,” he said, turning to the witch, his face breaking into a huge smile. “How about a piece of your famous pumpkin pie?”

     ---

     (And yes, that Nimmo did end up bringing home the coveted Edna avatar that day.)

The End

 
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