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100 Perfumes to Buy or Avoid!


by wandering_grapefruit

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There aren’t actually 100 perfumes but it sure made you want to read this, didn’t it?

Have you been worried that your pet stinks? Shampoo and a bath just isn’t cutting it? You, sir or madam, are in need of the wonderful extrasensory pleasures of perfume. Your pet will leap with joy as it soars to a heaven of scents that most pets can only dream of! Some of these perfumes may just make your neopet the hippest on the block. Not to mention the fanciest!

Many neopet owners seem blissfully ignorant of perfume! This might be because one cannot smell a pixel but this is a trivial point. A pet’s smell is just as important as its appearance through customization! Alas, perfumes have generally been regarded as unimportant to general life in Neopia. I’m here to alert owners to their devastating mistake!

However, one cannot simply grab any old perfume off the shelf! This is why, I, a really fancy perfume reviewer, am here for you to let you know which perfumes are worth your while (and your neopoints)!

Perfume

Simply titled Perfume, this is the most basic smell imaginable for your pet. As you can imagine, this scent has been out of style for a very long time. It is far too inexpensive. Perfume such as this does not allow your pet to smell its finest!

Verdict: AVOID

Skunk Perfume

I’m frankly offended that such a perfume even exists! This does not belong on your pet. No, no! In all honesty, this should only be brought to the Battledome to be sprayed on other naughty neopets! Sadly, this is not currently possible.

Verdict: AVOID (AVOID AVOID AVOID)

Coffee Perfume

Perfect for slow mornings when your pet needs a little pick-me-up! It might even wake up some other pets just with its lovely fragrance. They say smell and taste are related, and believe me, you will feel like you just drank a cup of perfect luxury coffee after a single spray of this wonderful perfume.

Verdict: BUY (in case you run out of coffee one morning!)

Chocolate Perfume

Want a chocolate pet but can’t get your hands on one? Perhaps a quick spray of this perfume on a brown pet will be enough to trick other pet owners. It might even trick your own pet! This perfume is very realistic and will give you the urge to eat the recipient.

Verdict: BUY (but not on an empty stomach!)

and

Lavender Perfume and Lavender-Scented Perfume

I am clearly an expert on perfume and even I have difficulty telling these two scents apart! The lavender-scented variety has a niftier bottle in my humble opinion and is more expensive due to its rarity. However, since both simply ooze that magnificent lavender smell that wafts into your nostrils like something that smells really good, the cheaper of the two is certainly an option if you are on a budget!

Verdict: BUY (Maybe even both!)

Tonu Perfume

"Smell great with this Tonu Perfume!" claims the packaging! Do NOT listen! Be careful what you buy, folks! This is strong stuff and you do not want to smell like a dinosaur if you are a dainty Usul or similar! There isn’t much to say about this one except to just stay far, far away!

Verdict: AVOID (like, really!!)

Perfume Keychain

Ever forget to put on your perfume in the morning? Remember the complete disaster when you went out into the world and let your true scent roam wherever it wanted? How horrible!! With this keychain, you and your pets will always be prepared against such a catastrophic event! It isn’t the most high end perfume (only r66) but you could always refill the bottle later in secret. ; )

Verdict: BUY (for emergencies only!)

Sloth Spring Scented Perfume

Not many know this, but Dr. Sloth actually smells rather nice. I’m sure he’s tried to cover it up with secret evil smelling perfume before. However, as the story goes, a secret agent working for the Unis Beauty Salon (invest in UNIB today!) managed to sample some of Sloth’s gregarious scent in his last invasion! This is sort of a secret, so don’t tell anyone but your closest perfume buddies! Anyways, now you can smell like the refined doctor himself! Your uneducated friends would never know that it is really the scent of an evil genius!

Verdict: BUY (if your friends ask, just say it’s Spring Scented Perfume!)

Miss Prissy Kacheek Halloween Perfume

All perfume fanatics could hardly wait for the newest addition to the Miss Prissy perfume line and this seemed destined to impress! The bottle had gorgeous wings spread wide with a cute orange lid covered in little hearts to top it off. When we finally got to give it a try, it didn’t smell very good after all! The bottles appeared dusty, as if they had been sitting on the shelves for years! The current gossip tells us that the perfume was actually made back in Y4 and wasn’t released until recently when Miss Prissy couldn’t come up with any other ideas! The bottle is still completely adorable and I would normally suggest this one in a heartbeat... but alas, the scent diminishes its value.

Verdict: UNDECIDED! (Buy for the bottle, avoid for the scent)

Illusen Strawberry Perfume

Strawberry pets are certainly Illusen’s favourite! Otherwise, why would her perfume have such a luxurious strawberry scent? Its allure is impossible to resist! Not only is the bottle extremely fancy, the scent matches it perfectly just as a perfume truly should! This perfume works well for a night on the town, taking your friends to Kelp for some fine dining!

Verdict: BUY BUY BUY! (and drop by for an Illusen Quest afterwards!)

Until next time, your perfume correspondent has said enough for now. Be sure to have your pets be the best-smelling on the block and please don’t buy any skunk perfume! That stuff really stinks!

Bye for now, perfume buddies!

*sprays on Cooler Than You Perfume*

 
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