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How to Feed Your Grarrl


by icanhaskaila

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Also by midnight_009

Do you now or have you ever owned a Grarrl? If so, you're going to be nodding your head at every clever scenario or anecdote we point out in this article. If not, this will make or break your decision on getting one. As you may or may not know, Grarrls are those dinosaur-type Neopets from Tyrannia. No, they’re surprisingly not extinct. I know, right? Some dinosaurs are still alive! In fact, they were one of the first Neopets ever created. They were actually the first ever drawn.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CRAZY LADIES?

What? Oh, did we say drawn? We meant... uhh, photographed. Of course, they’re real. Duhh. And they want to eat all your stuff.

Don’t worry – stick with us and we’ll teach you a little about preventing this from happening. There are just three rules: don’t take anything we say to the bank, don’t credit us for anything we say when you’re repeating this to all your friends because we *cough* might not even know what we’re talking about in the first place *cough* and don’t tell any Grarrls about this because we kind of want to live.

1.) A Grarrl's personality can basically be explained by its name, resembling a growl. A Grarrl is very fierce. If you are ever randomly running through a jungle and see some flat trees, you are about to make a Grarrl friend. However, that new friend may not be very friendly at all, especially if hungry. The species, when kept as a pet, gets rather angry when unfed. In fact, if you are the owner of one, you may find a few items missing from your inventory, and your Grarrl mysteriously becoming less hungry. Well, that's odd. Maybe their diet is what puts most of them in such a bad mood, always wanting to fight. You know, the Grarrl species just loves a good fight. Just take a look at its pre-sharpened teeth (if you dare to get that close). Despite their size and intimidating battle stances, Grarrls are generally not very bright. So if YOU are bright enough to fight one, you might have a chance (emphasis on the might). All in all, a Grarrl might not be your best choice for a new best buddy.

2.) Resembling dinosaurs (rawr), this species is rather tall (for a Neopet anyway). They are, on average, about 118 pounds and three feet six inches (107 cm). You may be thinking "HAHA PUNY PET ME CRUSH YOU WITH PINKY". First off, when did you go caveman? Second, THIS IS MEGA HUGE IN NEOPIA. So stop being a caveman and show respect for the BIG guys. They are pretty overweight for this size, again because of diet. Grarrls should really take a health class in between fighting and crushing things.

3.) There are many “Grarrl” foods, such as Milk Chocolate Grarrls, Gooey Strawberry Grarrls and Rotten Egg Grarrl Gobstoppers. Sure, the first two are in the shape of the pet, but who’s to say they weren’t made out of Grarrg’s latest victim? Who cares? Since Grarrls eat everything, they don’t care what’s in their candy. And they clearly don’t care that their Rotten Egg Gobstoppers are, well, ROTTEN. We all know they’re still going to be munching on them at snack time.

4.) When putting a Grarrl in the Neolodge, there are some things you should consider. First of all, these food-lovers would probably most enjoy five-star luxuries, like at a castle or a palace. Comfort is a necessity. Also, having a restaurant and/or burger bar so they can eat whenever they want to would be nice (but then again, when DON’T they want to eat?). Aside from the massive hotel bill you’ll have to pay, you’ll be happy that you don’t have to just keep feeding your Grarrl. This also decreases the chances of him or her eating items in your inventory. Just make sure you send them back to the Neolodge once they come home. Those little buggers get hungry pretty fast! Just be glad you don’t have to work there. (:

5.) Kelp Dining - Are you insane? First of all, when going to the Kelp restaurant you have to dress fancy. GOOD LUCK FINDING THAT BIG OF A SUIT IN NEOPIA. Second, it's a restaurant, with food. Even if you have it in the Neolodge, your Grarrl really likes food. That restaurant would go out of business! If you are hoping for the avatar, take a smaller, less hunger-craved pet. Otherwise your Grarrl will just eat away your chance of getting it, and your Neopoints. Literally.

6.) Be careful when equipping items to your Grarrl. Of course, one of the more expensive equippable items (that also gets you an avatar) is the Bony Grarrl Club. Though this piece of meat on a bone has spikes all over it, a Grarrl has no problem gulping it up, probably without chewing. MMMM! TORN INSIDES! This is making me hungry. Oh, and what’s that you’re equipping your Grarrl there? BATTLE DUNG? Yummy! NOMNOMNOM. You’ve won me over.

So, hopefully from this article you learned something. Pink and red do not always loo- wait. Wrong article. HOPEFULLY you learned just how much crazy fun a Grarrl can be... you know, if you like big terrorizing pets that eat everything, even your most sacred items, until they eat all of Neopia and turn on you. OH BOY FUN. But do take note that, no matter how much you think they aren't, Grarrls can be very lovable. Constantly hungry, but lovable. A tad greedy, but loveable all the same. Just take a look at cute little Rosie with her swirly rainbow polka dot dress and pretty dance moves.

Sadly, Grarrls are put in the pound quite often, so it'd be best if you leave this amazingly written article and give one a loving home. Then of course, put it in the Neolodge to cause destruction (AND FUN!) there before equipping any items to them or taking them to eat at Kelp, just as we’ve instructed you not to.

 
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